Author kj4412 Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 Thanks sinister again, you have been my best advice throughout all of this, right now I really dont care if I send it or not, I walk out with class and she doesnt know im walkin away like that. And yes, after I send that, im disapearing, if she contacts me soon after that, im not contacting back.
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 No gift, what about a simple card? nothing else, and right like congradulations, im proud of you, sincerely ......... something short thats it Yeah..gift is nice...long as it's pretty modest. But send gift n email at the same time..or include hand written letter with the gift as a card. Emails r more permanent..but I'm sure she'll keep both. MAIL THEM TO HER. Don't advise any more physical contact at this point that's above casual..again, she's acting flaky/nervous..she might overcompensate to help out the new guy's fears.
Fedor Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 No gift, what about a simple card? nothing else, and right like congradulations, im proud of you, sincerely ......... something short thats it Bro, do you think she earned a congrats or a card from you? NO. Sending the letter is one thing but now it just looks like you enabling her.
geegirl Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 (edited) Sometimes people need to learn the hard way. And if it means going out there and getting another beating, then so be it. Sending a letter is one thing. Now you want to get her a gift. It's almost as if you want to choke her with your sweetness in hopes she may get a lightbulb moment and realize what a thoughtful, loving and kind gem she is missing. The woman dumped you. Wants you to move on and not waste time on her. She doesn't even contact you. While she's in loveland with her new man at this very moment, you ponder and wrestle whether you should send her a letter, buy her a house, send her to the moon. It's endearing to receive emotional letters and gifts when feelings are mutual or if both of you are having problems but still involved with each other. But it's a turn off when someone has moved on and is now at a stage of indifference with you, and especially when her feelings and attention are solely focused on another man. And more so when she has asked you to move on and not waste anymore time on her. Edited June 3, 2011 by geegirl
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Bro, do you think she earned a congrats or a card from you? NO. Sending the letter is one thing but now it just looks like you enabling her. Enabling what? They're not together...there's no chess game here. The kid is leaving...he's leaving as a friend that's giving her life space....they were together the year of her graduation. He should give her a gift. Again..a lot of people r so ulterior of the moment...they can't see beyond 10 ft of their pride or faces. Let the kid be who he was...he's leaving it with class...not run off by the new guy. He's not pursing her.
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Thanks sinister again, you have been my best advice throughout all of this, right now I really dont care if I send it or not, I walk out with class and she doesnt know im walkin away like that. And yes, after I send that, im disapearing, if she contacts me soon after that, im not contacting back. I really wish you wouldn't have said best lol...the horde is back to trash your self-esteem...with no life experience lol. But don't even mention it..I do what I can. Not to win r make/force a philosophy..but aid this transition back into the pure single life lol. It's gonna be hard..but I really see a good dating future for you..don't be spiteful and jaded b/c they are.
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 (edited) Everything doesn't just change in a b/u....as I'm sure many of you would know before you most catastrophic one brought you here. B/u's r transitions, you can't go from being a friend to a dick just because your little heart got broken unless you've been betrayed. Meaning if you were nice in the r/s, then you're nice now...respectful then..respectful now. It shows far more immaturity to show dickish behavior just b/c she's no longer with you. He doesn't want to continue to force himself to be nice...so he's getting the f--k out of there..and saying it with class. He doesn't have to get her a Christmas present..but since grad is so close to the b/u and over 75 percent of the year b/f the b/u they were together...he's showing class by getting her A MODEST ONE..and moving on. Wow, lol. Don't bash him. Edited June 3, 2011 by sinnister
geegirl Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Good luck to you kj. It looks like Sinister is giving you all the advice you need to hear. I hope things work out for you and that you soon find a way to detach and begin moving forward.
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 With Sinnisters last Ex... The new guy, her parents and law enforcement had to get involved and he now has a criminal record... Are you sure that is someone's advice you want to follow? The choice is yours... Choose wisely! This is what it takes to win..a horde of people screaming the worst possible scenario and personal attacks..lol. I had a lot of exp before the last ex my friend...you always go to classless mode when you're threatened don't cha?
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Why does it look like Geegirl is either homebrew's groupie or creation...hmm.
Fedor Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Enabling what? They're not together...there's no chess game here. The kid is leaving...he's leaving as a friend that's giving her life space....they were together the year of her graduation. He should give her a gift. Again..a lot of people r so ulterior of the moment...they can't see beyond 10 ft of their pride or faces. Let the kid be who he was...he's leaving it with class...not run off by the new guy. He's not pursing her. I know he is not pursuing her but if he wants to leave the door open, a gift isnt appropriate. If it makes him feel better to waste time and money on a chick who ran to another dude quickly after there break up then by all means. Opening up to the person who broke your heart is one thing, but then to get this person a gift? That's not how I roll.
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I know he is not pursuing her but if he wants to leave the door open, a gift isnt appropriate. If it makes him feel better to waste time and money on a chick who ran to another dude quickly after there break up then by all means. Opening up to the person who broke your heart is one thing, but then to get this person a gift? That's not how I roll. He's not trying to keep the door open..he's gone. Let him leave...she's gonna remember this token more than the breakup and he's saying the last word before the unsaid stuff-transition gets awkward...now there's NO confusion as to why he doesn't interact when they're passing...no awkwardness. Now if she's seen he's just suddenly acted like a stiff dick...that ruins his chance to get back together..but he's doing this cause he knows there could be but it's not going to be his focus or concern.
geegirl Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Why does it look like Geegirl is either homebrew's groupie or creation...hmm. I know it's hard for you to believe that there's more than one person out there that does not agree and live by your sage advice. After all, we're all wet behind the ears lacking life experiences.
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I know it's hard for you to believe that there's more than one person out there that does not agree and live by your sage advice. After all, we're all wet behind the ears lacking life experiences. You post right after he does with the same wild attack patterns..what am I supposed to think..lol..plus on one of the posts on this thread, you completely went wet on his insight, lol. Just sayin. Don't talk about me if you don't want me u.
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 You are right about this one but not in the way you had hoped! U had hoped more like. I've actually done this..so I can tell u why he's doing it...not theorizing it. But what nonsequitor about my life you need to win again? I'm starting to want to see him do it just to piss you off for going so balls out to be right about something..class over crass.
geegirl Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 You post right after he does with the same wild attack patterns..what am I supposed to think..lol..plus on one of the posts on this thread, you completely went wet on his insight, lol. Just sayin. Don't talk about me if you don't want me u. No one talked about you. Don't flatter yourself. Disagreeing with your advice does not equal talking about you. I'm done with you. Your posts and your attitude make my teeth itch. Go spend some time writing a list of modest gifts that kj can get his ex.
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 No one talked about you. Don't flatter yourself. Disagreeing with your advice does not equal talking about you. I'm done with you. Your posts and your attitude make my teeth itch. Go spend some time writing a list of modest gifts that kj can get his ex. While you get rid of the itch by coughing HB's hairs out.
geegirl Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 While you get rid of the itch by coughing HB's hairs out. And you're the one trying to teach kj class over crass. What a joke!
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 And you're the one trying to teach kj class over crass. What a joke! It keeps talking to me. You all don't help, you shame to submission lol.
Fedor Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 sometimes we just gotta let go of the things we love the most. If we are meant to be back together in the future, she will find a way to contact me. In the end I just want her to be happy and thats what really matters because she is a great person =) Sounds like he is leaving the door open to me?
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I've got my popcorn ready and a nice spot picked out... Hopefully, he will come back on here after he heals from the ass kicking he is going to take from the new BF and tells us all about it. What ass kicking..is the bf THAT insecure? Arent you the same one that told another poster to not even ask if his girl was cheating on him b/c if she was/wasn't she didn't want to be with him so he should give up, even as she was waiting for a notification that he was out of his "space" lol? If a gift causes that much trouble, in your own ever changing philosophy..the girl wasn't the new guy's in the first place.
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Geegirl, I don't know if you saw this... I know it will come as no surprise to you. With Sinnisters last Ex... The new guy, her parents and law enforcement had to get involved and he now has a criminal record. Says it all... You say the same **** about everything..win at all costs. Lol..drag everything down you touch and think it helps. Not me. She dropped it all...there was no charges btw. There you go for assuming..like you do the worst case to validate inaction like the coward you are.
geegirl Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Geegirl, I don't know if you saw this... I know it will come as no surprise to you. With Sinnisters last Ex... The new guy, her parents and law enforcement had to get involved and he now has a criminal record. Says it all... I've said what I have to say to kj and he will do what is right for him at the end of the day. I do hope he finds his way. As for Sinister, I guess having the right to claim you have life experiences would have to entail securing a criminal record. I'm sorely missing out. KJ: I apologize for the threadjack. Good luck to you!
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I've said what I have to say to kj and he will do what is right for him at the end of the day. I do hope he finds his way. As for Sinister, I guess having the right to claim you have life experiences would have to entail securing a criminal record. I'm sorely missing out. KJ: I apologize for the threadjack. Good luck to you! Aww..a gift will get him a criminal record..what a nice bit of threadjack personal attack logic lobotomy. Good for you HB disciple.
Author kj4412 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 (edited) Ok, please no more arguing. Im not sending gift.... Im sending a card, thats it. the letter thing im not sending unless I know 100% and right now im probly not gonna send it because, Ill talk to her mom instead. Her mom recently contacted me (I know its NOT HER MOMS DECISION who her daughter dates). She told me that she does not want to see this new guys face in their home at all, and she is pissed at her daughter for treating me the way she did. I have been nothing but nice to my ex and then dumps me in a stupid unfair way with no closure. Her mom told me to meet up and talk, then take this summer to cool down and basically move on which I have been doing. To me that is closure, I cried with happiness when she called because that right there, is at least some closure I could get. And people say cut all ties with her even family. I couldn't do that to her mom because I seriously think of her as my ''second mom''. And when time has passed, ill probly be over my ex, and im already starting not to give a ****. I tried my best to safe our relationship but she doesn't want to so im not going to waste my effort and time. Throughout this whole thing its really made me a better person and changed me in a good way. And I can be totally honest with my mom and talk to her about anything. I dont know why my my ex's family told me that they really like me and are questioning the break up. I support my ex's decision though, and in the end its her decision for who she dates I know that. I want her to be happy in the end, but I miss having someone like her to be their for me. I know ill found other girls (better ones) than her out there, someday. Edited June 6, 2011 by kj4412
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