ilovedhim Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 (edited) My ex is making me nuts. I can't keep nc with him. He's very aggressive. I miss him and will always love hhim but we're not good for eachother. Anyway, I've been , or tried to be , NC with him since April with a few exceptions. Yesterday he contacted me from a new number and we ended up texting all night. I told him I'm seeing someone else right now but he doesn't care. He wants to know who it is and is being relentless about it. He says he misses me, wants to see me. When I try to explain to him that he hurt me tremendously all he says is I used him, never allowed him to get close and he was just my sex toy. Huh? He calls the new guy a fling and asks really personal questions. What's going on in his head? And how can I get him to respect NC? Edited June 1, 2011 by ilovedhim
vsmini Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Well of course he doesn't respect NC because you really aren't giving him a reason to. When he texts you - do you respond? Then that is not No Contact. Do not get involved in the drama. Let him email/call/text you as much hurtful stuff as he wants. Completely ignore it - it will go away. It's really your only option if you're truly serious about NC
iJester Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 How do you get him to respect NC? By keeping it yourself. You don't respond to anything he says. He texts you from a new number, you stop texting as soon as you find out who it is. NC is on you!
Author ilovedhim Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 Sorry this should've been in the breakup section. I ignored him once I found out it was him. Then he sent me nonstop texts for THREE hours, guilting me into responding. Borderline obsessive. I've never been through anything lke this. And I've given him many opportunities for closure but he's always ended up hurting me even more when I met up with him.
vsmini Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Sorry this should've been in the breakup section. I ignored him once I found out it was him. Then he sent me nonstop texts for THREE hours, guilting me into responding. Borderline obsessive. I've never been through anything lke this. And I've given him many opportunities for closure but he's always ended up hurting me even more when I met up with him. It's too bad you have to go through this but you just have to be strong. He may bait you and say some nasty stuff but you have to ignore it.
betterdeal Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 My ex is making me nuts. I can't keep nc with him. He's very aggressive. I miss him and will always love hhim but we're not good for eachother. Anyway, I've been , or tried to be , NC with him since April with a few exceptions. Yesterday he contacted me from a new number and we ended up texting all night. I told him I'm seeing someone else right now but he doesn't care. He wants to know who it is and is being relentless about it. He says he misses me, wants to see me. When I try to explain to him that he hurt me tremendously all he says is I used him, never allowed him to get close and he was just my sex toy. Huh? He calls the new guy a fling and asks really personal questions. What's going on in his head? And how can I get him to respect NC? What's going on in your head? Why are you breaking NC? How can you respect NC? Given that you love your ex and always will, why are you with your current? There's plenty there for us to work on together without me or anyone else here trying to mind-read someone (your ex) we have literally never had any contact with. In my signature is a link to how I see life after losing contact with someone you were involved with. I recommend you read it and I'd be glad if you'd let me know what your impression of it is.
Author ilovedhim Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 I just read your guide. It made me very sad because it just sounds so final. Are you happy your relationship happened? From your posts it sounds like you hate your ex, um person you were involved with. I don't want to reach that point of indifference with him. Actually we dated in our teens, then I went NC for years. Now we're back here again. Each time he contacts me, after beingNC he comes back with stronger words about how he feels about me. Maybe he hurt me so much last time we broke up that I just never waned to give him a chance. But how can I when each time he hurts me?
betterdeal Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I am profoundly thankful to her, and especially for the many things she taught me. The first piece of advice in my signature is something she said to me. I have a range of feelings about anyone of any significance to me. Hate is a tool to protect us, just like anger, and they are derived from fear. Dealing with the fear ends the cause of hate. I imagine in the future we'll maybe in touch with each other, but maybe we won't. I am happy to take that chance. But back to you. I'm not sure what you want? You're in love with someone who hurts you and you're involved with someone else. What do you want to happen?
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