Rello55 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Well me and my ex gf of 3.5 years break up about 6 months ago and after a month she started dating another guy which all and all had me hurt so i didnt know what to do and like any guy would do which is panic and constantly text and call their ex to try to change her mind which obviously didnt work so i tried NC which lasted about 2.5 months and it helped me quickly and im in a much better mood now i dnt even hate her anymore for what she did at all i would say we are good now no grudges held i also improved myself during the 2.5 months just so i could look better (p.s there wasnt anything wrong with me before this happened i still had good looks lol) like got a new haircut which i will be getting from now on things like that but anyway my ex called me for the 1st time in 2.5 months Saturday but i was busy you know just outside hanging out with friends so i couldnt talk bcuz i just wantd to have fun which i kno she knew i was out partying bcuz she heard the music in the background but i told her i was going to call her back but i never did bcuz i was so caught up in the moment i didnt call her the next day either but she eventually called me the next night and we talked for about an hour she sounded so happy to talk to me we laughd just talked like we usually did when we were together. then she asked about my love life which didnt mess up the conversion i just didnt want to tell her any of my business bcuz she was just my ex after our phone convo ended she textd me and wantd to start another convo but i keep it very very short like 2 texts between each other and that was it then she called again 2day i also keep the phone convo short bcuz i was busy doing the last of my schoolwork but during the convo she said she was going to stop by my house 2day to see me (which im basically home alone for 5 - 6 hrs a day) but all im trying to say is i kno ma ex really misses me now she just shows all of the signs i just think she doesnt know how to really end her relationship bcuz i ended the relationship 6months ago bcuz i was being a ******* which dudes are sometime but i wouldnt mind trying again i mean hey i lifed the single life its great! but thats my 1st love it gets complicated with 1st loves i just wanted to know from females what do you think or males that know know someone thats in this situation or have been in this situation p.s i really dont want to hear anything like she's playing with you or move on bcuz i know about all of that already just need some tips on what to do stay NC or go LC for a little while
guccimane99 Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Well i thought i should comment on this because no one else has the nutsack to comment on this. hahahaha jk. I dont really know what to tell u as far as what she is thinking because A im not a girl and B im not her. What i can tell u is this girl is getting what every dumper wants there new boyfriend and their ex hanging around. If shes calling you she either does miss you or is lonely. The only thing i can tell you to do is go no contact if she really wants you then she will come back. I will tell you something i have learned when its over its over. They dumper will get what they want out of the dumpee until they either find someone else or get over them. The best thing to do is go straight up no contact. This means no talking or anything better yet, delete your facebook to. This way you are scarce and don't pick up when she calls. Make her feel like your moving on. For me, i always try to end on a good note therefore, i don't look like a dbag. I just say sorry for anything i did and i say goodbye. I dont want them in my life they decided they didnt want me in there future as a bf, so why would i want someone who questioned me in there life to be in my life. I dont need people like that and neither do you bud. I know u love her but sometimes love isnt enough. It sucks but youll get over it and you will go back to being you before her. You can live without her because she hasn't been in ur life since you were born. Watch this video called strangers again on youtube. Its a very intresting video you might learn a thing or two about realitionships.
Author Rello55 Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 Yeah that makes sense she is showing signs that she does miss me but idk maybe she is confused I believe she still has hella feelings for me i mean she did want to come over my house and i know we wasnt going to be sitting on opposite sides of the couch we probably wouldnt of been on the couch at all. But I am leaving her alone until she mans up and does what she has to do
selena_cat Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 well I'm a girly and have to say that its a good sign she's reaching out to you,but remember,dont be on that dreadful Friendzone. Because as soon as she finds someone else the text and calls woul stop. Wait before replying,meaning dont reply right away,wait the next day if you have to,why? bc your busy. Treat her like you would treat any other friend,would you reply to them right away? well if you do,treat her as an acquaintance just dont give her special attention,because false hopes can come crashing. Then you will see if she's really sincere or not,if she's not texting you to pass up the time.
vsmini Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 but all im trying to say is i kno ma ex really misses me now she just shows all of the signs i just think she doesnt know how to really end her relationship Well until she learns how to end her relationship you guys really shouldn't be speaking. Your turning into a fallback guy.
Author Rello55 Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 well I'm a girly and have to say that its a good sign she's reaching out to you,but remember,dont be on that dreadful Friendzone. Because as soon as she finds someone else the text and calls woul stop. Wait before replying,meaning dont reply right away,wait the next day if you have to,why? bc your busy. Treat her like you would treat any other friend,would you reply to them right away? well if you do,treat her as an acquaintance just dont give her special attention,because false hopes can come crashing. Then you will see if she's really sincere or not,if she's not texting you to pass up the time. Yes I feared this and i asked her if she was just calling me to talk to me bcuz she has no one else to talk to at that time she said she called becuz she wanted to and was thinking about me and i also asked her to go to the movies with me just me and her was that a bad idea? she said of course she would go to the movies with me too it wasnt any silence after i asked or no for a answer
Author Rello55 Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 Well until she learns how to end her relationship you guys really shouldn't be speaking. Your turning into a fallback guy. Yes that makes sense too. But recently we talked and i think she hinted at her being single too but I changed the subject i deactivated my Facebook so idk if she really is single or not and i also wont ask her about it bcuz i dont want to ask her any questions about her relationship or even us getting back together i will leave that to her she has to start up those convos
guccimane99 Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Alright my boy. I am going to give u some advice because i was/am in the same boat as you. Ill give u the short version. I got broken up with i gave her no contact and then i broke it. She was telling me she was throwing up and couldnt eat that old chestnut. So i was like maybe know then we kissed and she told me she was hanging with this guy but were just friends. I have a gut feeling but just didnt go with it. Then one night my friend showed me a picture of my ex kissing this guy on the cheek i flipped out and talked **** about him. She told me never to talk to her again. I then got a text because she was in my class that she was not mad at me and that she hopped i was doing well u know that bs text. i ignored it then found out from a friend that she was asking how i was doing. I just laughed and i started datting another girl. She was great girl after a month i felt bad about my ex and had to write her a letter saying i was sorry for the way i acted and that im sorry for what i said about the guy and said goodbye. Its been a month since i have seen her and honestly bud i am happy. I'll tell you just lift weights and eat healthy when u see her smile and say hi if she texts you ignore her unless you want her back. Then ignore until she says shes made a mistake and wants you back. Thats my advice to you. In the end you are going to do whats best for you and you may make mistakes, but its a part of an ongoing process. The best thing i did was delete my facebook, and hang out with friends that would help me change. So that way the next girl who comes around will be better. I dont know if she will ever come back she told me i was the best guy she ever dated and i made her diner and she told me she would never forget that. So, i will tell you that you will be happy no matter what happens.
Author Rello55 Posted June 4, 2011 Author Posted June 4, 2011 Alright my boy. I am going to give u some advice because i was/am in the same boat as you. Ill give u the short version. I got broken up with i gave her no contact and then i broke it. She was telling me she was throwing up and couldnt eat that old chestnut. So i was like maybe know then we kissed and she told me she was hanging with this guy but were just friends. I have a gut feeling but just didnt go with it. Then one night my friend showed me a picture of my ex kissing this guy on the cheek i flipped out and talked **** about him. She told me never to talk to her again. I then got a text because she was in my class that she was not mad at me and that she hopped i was doing well u know that bs text. i ignored it then found out from a friend that she was asking how i was doing. I just laughed and i started datting another girl. She was great girl after a month i felt bad about my ex and had to write her a letter saying i was sorry for the way i acted and that im sorry for what i said about the guy and said goodbye. Its been a month since i have seen her and honestly bud i am happy. I'll tell you just lift weights and eat healthy when u see her smile and say hi if she texts you ignore her unless you want her back. Then ignore until she says shes made a mistake and wants you back. Thats my advice to you. In the end you are going to do whats best for you and you may make mistakes, but its a part of an ongoing process. The best thing i did was delete my facebook, and hang out with friends that would help me change. So that way the next girl who comes around will be better. I dont know if she will ever come back she told me i was the best guy she ever dated and i made her diner and she told me she would never forget that. So, i will tell you that you will be happy no matter what happens. I basically know do the same thing you are doing im great im happy thats why i dont hate her anymore but when i did talk to her its just seemd like she really missed me i also asked her out to eat and movies and she said of course she would. and she also said she was Solo Dolo like i am (Which means single) but i didnt want to talk about it so i changed the subject NC helped me grow and heal and from disappearing from Facebook, erasing her contact info etc it also made her miss me
selena_cat Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 hi Reading this post again,you were actually doing the right thing. You were busy,didnt call her back when she expected you too. Thing is DONT ever ask her why she's calling,there are certain things that are left unsaid. Just let her keep comming to you while you push back away from her,meaning kp your replies short few and far between. I know I shouldnt encourage a guy who does that bc i hate it when it is done to me. But I dont go around breaking up with people,tossing people away just bc I want to single. While you are treating her like your cousin Moe,you wouldnt obsess why Moe is calling you would you? Keep doing so,even skip a reply. She would have to come to terms what she wants and if she wants to talk all the time,she'll have to fess up and come back. Meanwhile keep going out with friends,try to find other women attractive,then your ex wont be the only person that holds your attention. I hope,no I know that will work. Theres even a long thread about not being too available,I have to dig it up so you can look at it. Its geared for guys whose been tossed aside,and what they did to turn the situation around.
guccimane99 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 U were in my shoes and i went to dinner with her paid for it we kissed then she told me she was gonna text me guess what? she never did. i texted her the next day asking if she was alive and ok. So take it from me you will always miss people if you have had a connection with them. I know for a fact my ex misses me sometimes, but i realize i have to work on myself. Believe me workout out, watch what you eat, and get new clothes and shell be astonished at what you did. Ill tell you ive always lifted weights so if i got bigger it wouldn't come to a suprise to her. Also, go out on dates it will help big time it will make her feel like ur moving on and if she cares about you she wont want u to. Believe me when i say dumpeers usually dont want you to move on until they are secure they like having you on the backburner just in case it doesnt work out.
Author Rello55 Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 U were in my shoes and i went to dinner with her paid for it we kissed then she told me she was gonna text me guess what? she never did. i texted her the next day asking if she was alive and ok. So take it from me you will always miss people if you have had a connection with them. I know for a fact my ex misses me sometimes, but i realize i have to work on myself. Believe me workout out, watch what you eat, and get new clothes and shell be astonished at what you did. Ill tell you ive always lifted weights so if i got bigger it wouldn't come to a suprise to her. Also, go out on dates it will help big time it will make her feel like ur moving on and if she cares about you she wont want u to. Believe me when i say dumpeers usually dont want you to move on until they are secure they like having you on the backburner just in case it doesnt work out. I have been doing all of that i live the single life to the fullest but one main thing dat suprises me is that she has been trying to call me n text me alot since when she 1st contactd me during 2.5 months of NC
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