Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 My friend was involved and headed up a few NYC meet ups and she became upset as well. People were all talk - she confirmed, people confirmed and often nobody would show up. After 3 events in a row where absolutely nobody showed up she stepped down as leader and the online group got pissed with her for "giving up" Jackasses. People are so rude. I think a lot of people feel that if they are at least part of an online meet up community they are part of something and don't really value the effort it takes in actually going to meet up with people. Does that make sense? Sort of like "well, I signed up for it online..at least I'm sort of trying." Personally, I just think many NYC people are afraid to talk to each other . This might explain why there's so much Meetup attempts going on and the effort put in to make these people get together, because on their own they will never accomplish this feat.
Banker Chick Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 I've had good luck with meetups. I joined my first one when I broke up with a boyfriend and needed single friends to hang out with. It was a "singles and socials" group and it was exactly what I needed. We did dinner, camping, clubbing, art walks, salsa dancing, beach volleyball, etc. That was over three years ago and I still have friends from that group. I ended up in a relationship (not with anyone from the group) so quit going to the meetups. I have since become involved in a book club and a "chicks and flicks" group that meets for dinner/lunch and a chick flick. The book club is large so the turnout is different each time and also depends on which book has been picked. The movie group is great because it tends to be the same core group so we've really gotten to know each other. The nice thing about the singles and socials group was even though it was for singles, it explicitly stated it was not a dating event where people should expect to go there and hit on people. If you met someone you clicked with, great but that wasn't the purpose of the group.
alphamale Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 i just set up a jazz brunch for later this month. already have 4 or 5 chicks signed up
NoReallyThatHappened Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 meetup.com has been hit or miss for me. I had one friend meet an ex at a sushi dinner meet up. I went to several for hiking and then a writers meet up group. I will say the writers were fairly odd, but I'm not sure I expected anything different. If I needed more friends I would probably try it again. It wasn't that bad.
alphamale Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 meetup.com has been hit or miss for me. its like that for everyone
simpsonic Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I joined a bunch of Meetup groups when I first moved here since I didn't know a soul. I'm only actively involved in maybe two now, but I've made a lot of great friends, some of them who are my best friends today. I'm glad I did it!
alexlakeman Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Yelp also hosts or advertises a lot of meetups. I would never dream to hit on someone at a Yelp event (people are too pretty and out of my league), but I've made a ton of friends there. When I'm not yapping on Love Shack, I'm on Yelp talk. I'm on my local yelp as well and yeah I am cheating on LS when not on here, I am talking on yelp talk .. but I have the feeling it's younger people.. I am going to have to probe further...
Cee Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Yelp in my city is almost exclusively people aged 23-32 and then there is this guy and I in our 40s. We are the old heads of the group, but I feel very accepted. But I never used it for dating. But who knows? YMMV.
Queen Zenobia Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I came back from one yesterday and though the temperature was around 85, it was still bright and sunny, but the turnout for this Meetup in NYC by the museum was lame. There were 43 people scheduled but only 15 came! I was surprised and disappointed as was the remaining group members but the moderator was most furious, threatening to eliminate people who did not have the decency to announce that they couldn't make it and how it costs money to organize these things . Anyway, has anyone gone to Meetups and have good or bad experiences? I'm curious to hear different responses because I don't know if I should go to one again, since my first impression was lackluster. One of the few groups on Meetup that I was interested in was an Arab literature club that met once a week. The city listed in the description was my city, but all the meetups were actually about an hour's drive from my house. I kept waiting for the location to change so that it would be closer to my house but it never did. I must have missed a half dozen meetups before I finally decided to leave the group. Sometimes people don't join a Meetup group to go to every single meeting they just do it because it sounds like it might be fun. Given how busy people get these days it's easy to miss a few meetups. So I think the moderator's reaction was unnecessary and over the top.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 4, 2011 Author Posted June 4, 2011 I went there last night. My cousin and I arrived after 9. It was packed up! I think about 100-150 people there and mostly women, naturally. Some of the ladies were attractive, while others were modest-looking. No one was horrible, but I had faults at the luxurious Hudson Terrace. First off, at the Meetup, which I'm guessing was for socializing had most of the people trying to appear important. I don't know if this was an act or what, but it annoyed me. Very few people dressed casual, but I did. Secondly, 2 of the women that I picked to speak with wanted to know off the bat what I did for a living. Damn them! Is this a To find a Husband Meetup? That's the impression I got because over the 90 minute course I was there with my cousin, the majority of women were checking out men in the sense of who looked most important. And I thought women were all independent today . I won't be going to any other ones like this, but maybe a sports club type or movie goers Meetup I might consider. Should definitely be relaxing and less pressure to mingle.
irc333 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 I came back from one yesterday and though the temperature was around 85, it was still bright and sunny, but the turnout for this Meetup in NYC by the museum was lame. There were 43 people scheduled but only 15 came! That's pretty much par for the course.....if you see a certain number of RSVP's, divide that by HALF, and that's the typical amount that actually SHOWS up. LOL And yes, some organizers get seriously ticked off, esp. if they had to reserve seats or spots or spaces at a restaurant, and then hardly anyone shows. Major inconvenience, and the organizer can be justified in booting people. Some have a 3 strike rule. If you look at the number of members at a Meetup is quite numerous, but only a very small amount even go. There's a couple of singles Meetups I know of that have 900+ members, but only like 20 or 30 become "regulars" or show up routinely. A couple of people here and there show up once, and never come back. I had seen members profiles where they had 5 pages worth of Meetups they were members of, but would have (0) next to their RSVP numbers. I'm thinking they either think it's a social networking site, like Facebook or something......and might be oblivious to the fact people actually MEET face-to-face at these gatherings. BUT...on the brighter side, some can be fun, you just have to weed through them, I found a couple that were very fun and friendly, while others can be "cliquish" or "Trendy/yuppy-ish" You just have to find the proper fit.
irc333 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 ...as far as the whole "RSVP'ing" and not showing up, the reason is more than likely, some people check the RSVP the "night of" and either UN-RSVP at the last min. or just don't bother UN-RSVPing at all. Some check to see if there are any "cute guys/gals" there, and if none of them are too their liking, they will not go. "What? No cute gals/guys going bowling tonight? Meh, forget it, I can't enjoy a fun activity with no attractive people there" It's kind of like cutting your nose to spite your face. Friend of mine actually heard a woman at a social Meetup who had a bit too much to drink actually admit to the fact she only goes to Meetups if "cute" guys will be there. lol
alexlakeman Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 I don't know if this was an act or what, but it annoyed me. Very few people dressed casual, but I did. Well, it's not going to cut it in your flip flops and wife beater tank top Secondly, 2 of the women that I picked to speak with wanted to know off the bat what I did for a living. . What do you do for a living?
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 ...as far as the whole "RSVP'ing" and not showing up, the reason is more than likely, some people check the RSVP the "night of" and either UN-RSVP at the last min. or just don't bother UN-RSVPing at all. Some check to see if there are any "cute guys/gals" there, and if none of them are too their liking, they will not go. "What? No cute gals/guys going bowling tonight? Meh, forget it, I can't enjoy a fun activity with no attractive people there" It's kind of like cutting your nose to spite your face. Friend of mine actually heard a woman at a social Meetup who had a bit too much to drink actually admit to the fact she only goes to Meetups if "cute" guys will be there. lol It's good to know you've got some experience in this field. I was starting to get the impression that the women who show up to these events only do so in hopes of catching some male eye candy. Of course, us men are to blame for that too, but I don't think men take it as seriously as women do, because like I said, I was just there last night. It was at least 75-100 women easy, in the age ranges of 30-45 looking all around the place with drinks in their hands lol. Interestingly enough, there were no women in the 20+ age mark which is what usually attracts me more, though I'm not really looking for anything.
AmericanHoney Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 I belong to a meet-up and one of the founders is stepping down and now this new person is taking over and she said if no one gives dues they automatically get kicked out. Times are tough and I say kick me out if you must! I am not paying 10.00 a month sorry......... It's not my fault the founder stepped down.
Art_Critic Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 It's not my fault the founder stepped down. Maybe he stepped down because he couldn't afford to float everybody
irc333 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Yeah, I think both men and women check the RSVP list to see who is going, if no one is to their liking, they will drop moments before the event or just don't go. Lately though, some of the Meetups kind of got....less active, due to people coupling up, getting married, etc and stopped attending events. I have to laugh, there's some "abandoned" singles meetups where there's little or nothing going on where I contact the ladies there welcoming them aboard after they join, trying to engage in conversation. I sometimes try to email women who haven't even been to a Meetup, like they've been on the site for months, but as of yet to attend an event. I actually got dates from a couple of women who are on the site, but had never attended (one never even planned on going) to an event. After some events, I hears stories of how women get emails from other guys that they met at a gathering, trying to ask them out, some succeed, some aren't interested. What's funny is, even NON-singles Meetups have 90%+ single people in it anyways, so it's kinda moot. I've even known some women with boyfriends, that discover a lot of meetups have singles, so they get hit on a lot (the guys dont know she has a boyfriend...at first) so they try to seek out "women only" events. It's good to know you've got some experience in this field. I was starting to get the impression that the women who show up to these events only do so in hopes of catching some male eye candy. Of course, us men are to blame for that too, but I don't think men take it as seriously as women do, because like I said, I was just there last night. It was at least 75-100 women easy, in the age ranges of 30-45 looking all around the place with drinks in their hands lol. Interestingly enough, there were no women in the 20+ age mark which is what usually attracts me more, though I'm not really looking for anything.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 I think it's perfectly normal for people who are just meeting to inquire about what each does for a living. It's not too personal and can be a good topic of conversation. Not all women who ask that question are doing so to gage your earning potential. Some are, I'm sure. Lot's of people are very into their careers and can talk about that subject very comfortably and so it's a natural topic for them. And working people spend most of their waking hours at the job - so if you want to get to know about them and their lives, knowing what they do is pertinent. Don't be feeling so threatened all the time, it's not worth it.
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