tigger123 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Firstly; she broke it off with me as she felt it wasn't working, having pointless arguements, along with her feeling stressed of having her own family problems which i did not know about till she broke it off. we are still in contact everyday.. but she acts different towards me each day, coming on strongly as if we were together, then just being distant. Then now she has told me she would rather have me as a friend then a boyfriend, but she says shes still deeply in love with me..and that she can't be with me at this time, and when i asked would you want me to give you space and wait a bit she said no don't wait for me, but still talk to me. And i know she isnt the type of girl to just use me untill she finds someone. She has said that she doesn't want to be with anyone at this time anyway. Problem is, she still wants to have sex with me? but thats what i don't understand, she still loves me and finds me physically attractive as she wouldn't even want to have sex with me. Not entirely sure what to do? The way i see it, if i keep having sex with her, that would keep her feelings about me oinstead of losing them. i do love her, and honestly want her back and i am capable of handling my own emotions from keeping to just friends with benefits. But could a relationship ever turn to friends and benefits, back to a relationship again? or would staying friends with no sexual contact be better? or even no contact at all? thank you for reading.
Winherback Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I have been through and tried it all. TRUST ME, if you want any chance of true reconciliation you are going to have to tell her that while you love her, want to be with her, and want the world for you both, that you just cant live with the current situation any longer. Tell her its time for you to move on. You need to create all of the space you can and try try try to live as strong as you can in the mean time. She has to come running to you, begging for you back.... and you can't make it super easy on her if/when she does. DO NOT make it super easy on her. She has to flirt with the true thought of losing you forever for her to be in that mindset of giving you what you truly need. And your current situation is only going to make it worse, more painful, and a complete mess and ultimately lose her forever for sure. In the end, deep down she wants you to be THE MAN. And the man calls the shots now after she broke up with you... and your shots are if she doesnt want to fully be with you then you will find someone who does.
Author tigger123 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 I understand your point, but would having just strictly sexual contact and showing no emotional sides at all have any negative impacts on her? Wouldn't she start to miss the loving side if i only ever had sexual talks and im not chasing her for sex either etc. And the only times i would talk to her would only be about sex. Honestly im still very attracted to her and want to keep having sex with her too as i am a young guy lol. and i feel like if i have sex with other people it would destory any chance as well
Winherback Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Whats your age? Where are your feelings at for this girl? Can YOU handle just having sex whilst getting no emotional support or needs met?
Author tigger123 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 i'm 19, and im used to being very sexually active, and yes i do love her quite a bit. and im perfectly capable of not breaking down lol obviously i feel sad, but nothing that would affect my life drastically as that would be stupid... but i would love to have her back as there was a good spark and still is.
Winherback Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 19 years old? lol. Yeah, have as much sex as you possibly can. You have many things to learn, hell I am still learning much at 33. I promise you she will be just one of the girls you banged years from now. Get after it. Just be as guarded as you can.
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