girlygirl100 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 ...he needs to lose weight without hurting his feelings? I love my boyfriend but his weight gain is starting to take a toll on me. He is a bigger guy (he was when I met him & is now about 300lbs and 6'1) but he has put on weight since we've been together. He enjoys working out but doesn't have the motivation to do it frequently. Trust me, I am no poster child to healthy eating/working out, but I am making a conscious effort to change that. I worry that if he continues his unhealthy lifestyle and keeps gaining weight that his heart wont be able to handle it. His dad is diabetic and I don't want him to have to live like that. And this is awful, but I worry if he keeps up like this that I will become unattracted to him...I don't want that to happen.
TigerCub Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I think the easiest way to do this without telling him straight up is to just start working out together - make it your daily activity - join a boxing class, get gym memberships together. You say that you are making an effort - so it should fit well into your plan and if you ask him to do that with you - that should motivate him as well. If that doesn't work - you'll have to just come right out and say it. I'm sure its not going to come as a surprise to him - so if you have to have a sit down with him and be honest about the health concerns & weight gain - then that's what you'll have to do. but try the first suggestion first and go from there.
kiss_andmakeup Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I had the same problem with my ex. I tried pretty much everything in the book - suggesting that we work out together, buying memberships for the same gym, etc. It never worked. If he did lose weight he put it back on almost instantly. That's just one experience; YMMV. But proceed with caution, as it's a touchy subject and feelings can really get hurt.
Ginger Beer Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Most men don't care about weight though, at least the ones I know. I'd just be honest.
whichwayisup Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 ...he needs to lose weight without hurting his feelings? I love my boyfriend but his weight gain is starting to take a toll on me. He is a bigger guy (he was when I met him & is now about 300lbs and 6'1) but he has put on weight since we've been together. He enjoys working out but doesn't have the motivation to do it frequently. Trust me, I am no poster child to healthy eating/working out, but I am making a conscious effort to change that. I worry that if he continues his unhealthy lifestyle and keeps gaining weight that his heart wont be able to handle it. His dad is diabetic and I don't want him to have to live like that. And this is awful, but I worry if he keeps up like this that I will become unattracted to him...I don't want that to happen. Tell him "Let's learn how to play tennis!" And join a gym, work out together. in the evenings, go for long brisk walks.. Do yoga, play basketball, anything to help him lose weight and also have fun together. But, with that said, you knew from the start he's a big guy and he'll never be thin unless he wants to change his eating habits and get more physical activity in his lifestyle.. Be honest! Tell him you love him but are worried about his weight and possible health issues.
kiss_andmakeup Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Most men don't care about weight though, at least the ones I know. I'd just be honest. This isn't necessarily true. After trying all the "nice" options with my ex-boyfriend ("let's go for a jog!" "let's go to the gym together!"), I once sat down with him and explained that his weight was really becoming a problem and that I feared losing my attraction to him. He was so hurt and upset. It definitely depends on the guy.
Author girlygirl100 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 The part that kills me is he is a former personal trainer so he has the tools and knowledge of what to do. He ended up going back to school and is now a health & PE teacher and football coach. Part of me can see a life together with him but the idea of him keeping this lifestyle up and having kids scares me. We have worked out together in the past but I will try and motivate him more. I've been wanting to learn how to play tennis so maybe I will suggest that. He is also a golfer and I've been wanting to try to the driving range and that would be fun and active. Thanks for the tips! I will tread lightly for now and see how it goes.
Ginger Beer Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 The part that kills me is he is a former personal trainer so he has the tools and knowledge of what to do. He ended up going back to school and is now a health & PE teacher and football coach. Part of me can see a life together with him but the idea of him keeping this lifestyle up and having kids scares me. We have worked out together in the past but I will try and motivate him more. I've been wanting to learn how to play tennis so maybe I will suggest that. He is also a golfer and I've been wanting to try to the driving range and that would be fun and active. Thanks for the tips! I will tread lightly for now and see how it goes. Well that just sounds like laziness to be honest. Good luck.
EasyHeart Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Some night after dinner, suggest that you should watch 'The Biggest Loser' together. About 20 minutes into the program, look at him and say, "Hey, you should try out for this show!"
Author girlygirl100 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 I know..I hope now that his school year is almost over he can become focused again.
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