sun_moon Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Why is it still like this? Its been 2.5 months. I want this to stop. I dont wake up in agony any more, but its still not a happy thought. I'm tired of this....cant I just go back to waking up and dreading work and thinking about my delicious coffee run? Now it's wake up, think about him, dreaded work, then the delicious coffee run? Or Read, listen to music, come to LS, go to bed, think of him. ARG!
Mack05 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 It will happen Sun_moon. I am the same. One day when we don't expect it, we won't think about them. The suffering we are going through now and the forgiveness we give to those who hurt us. All of this, will make us better people in the long run..
Nohbody Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 In the same boat. Nothing else to add except you aren't alone, and it'll probably stop sometime.
Kodo Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Why is it still like this? Its been 2.5 months. I want this to stop. I dont wake up in agony any more, but its still not a happy thought. I'm tired of this....cant I just go back to waking up and dreading work and thinking about my delicious coffee run? Now it's wake up, think about him, dreaded work, then the delicious coffee run? Or Read, listen to music, come to LS, go to bed, think of him. ARG! Your routine is still the same. It's disturbed (with agony) but essentially the same. Change it completely. Wake up, have the coffee first then go for a jog or a workout. Get up early and watch a TV show in the morning before work that you'd not normally watch.
Mack05 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I'm over a year and its the same for me. sigh. I sounds to me after a year then your not happy within yourself. When we get happiness within ourselves and then meet someone else (even have just one good date) then we forget about our exe's..Chin up mate..Focus on your happiness. The rest will take care of itself. Maybe read a book like "I can mend your broken heart". Educating ourselves, becoming fit are great ways for self improvment..
Ginger Beer Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Same with me, been the case for nearly a year now.
shortee143 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I'm sorry any of you are going thru that. It has been 3 months for me, and granted I am stuck seeing him often too, he is on my mind daily. Def in that first thing I think of in the AM, last in the PM, and about 30 times in between! Figured I'd share what I try and do. Sure I still think about him, but I just keep telling myself that someday he will no longer matter, that someone else will come into my life, and I can look back on him and wonder why did I let him destroy my well being. I hurt and I think of him, but my brain is catching up and winning the race against my heart. My last breakup before this one destroyed me too. But now I look back, and he has a new gf, and I could care less. So that is how I know, it does get better!
Author sun_moon Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 Your routine is still the same. It's disturbed (with agony) but essentially the same. Change it completely. Wake up, have the coffee first then go for a jog or a workout. Get up early and watch a TV show in the morning before work that you'd not normally watch. yeah...its kind of hard when often I have to wake up at 5 am...lol ok so the days when I can wake up at 6.30 or 7, I started to play happy or new music while i get ready or listen to the morning shows. for the evening I really need to start going to the gym after work, it will change my routine or end my night with a funny book.
Author sun_moon Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 It will happen Sun_moon. I am the same. One day when we don't expect it, we won't think about them. The suffering we are going through now and the forgiveness we give to those who hurt us. All of this, will make us better people in the long run.. I cant wait for the day when I , when WE ALL feel as if this was so far away.
Fedor Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I cant stand that feeling either. I relive the good memories before I go to bed. I dont know why
TheFamilyMan Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 you have to REALLY force yourself to get over it, combine that with some time and it'll happen. I went through the same thing and what worked for me was making a conscious effort to forget about the memories, etc. Which is always tough but you have to put your head to it.
Author sun_moon Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 It's getting a little easier each day. However, I noticed something diff today, this is my first really early work day all week, 5 hours of sleep, and I woke up feeling worse, feeling loneliness and sadness again, besides the usual him popping in my mind. I uttered the words I hate you ex, even though I don't, I got out of bed and turned my radio on to get ready, what else can I do? Seems like eating right and GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP really does sway your moods! Anyway, it's Friday and I'm dreading the weekend, while I do have a few things planned, I always dread it bc I feel sadder and lonlier. Also he attempted to call last weekend and the weekend before, I'm in NC, and I responded to his call last weekend to check on the status of my money, other than that I don't talk to him. I don't expect him to call this weekend nor do I want it, it's just in my mind, I hope I have a good weekend :-(
PelicanPete Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 In order to move on you have to do just that. If you continue with the same thoughts and the same attitude as when the break up first happened, you'll still be in the same spot, because you'll still be the same person. Time aids change, but real change comes from within. You have to want to be over them, and make an effort in changing for the better. The more you progress as a person, the more distant you are from the person you were in the relationship. You'll be further away from who you use to be, just like how childhood only remains a distant memory. Why? Because you've grown.
vsmini Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 At one point it almost feels like a habit. My ex was the first and last thought of my day for about 6-7 months. Most of that was because I was a complete idiot and didn't stick to NC for the first 4-5 months of the breakup. After a couple months of NC that first and last thought stuff stopped. It takes time. 2.5 months is not that long. Give it more time I'm sorry
Author sun_moon Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 I like that point of view Pete, thanks. I will remind myself of that.
PelicanPete Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 You can do it sun_moon . Stay positive and work towards who you want to be. What is an accomplishment without a journey?
sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 It's getting a little easier each day. However, I noticed something diff today, this is my first really early work day all week, 5 hours of sleep, and I woke up feeling worse, feeling loneliness and sadness again, besides the usual him popping in my mind. I uttered the words I hate you ex, even though I don't, I got out of bed and turned my radio on to get ready, what else can I do? Seems like eating right and GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP really does sway your moods! Anyway, it's Friday and I'm dreading the weekend, while I do have a few things planned, I always dread it bc I feel sadder and lonlier. Also he attempted to call last weekend and the weekend before, I'm in NC, and I responded to his call last weekend to check on the status of my money, other than that I don't talk to him. I don't expect him to call this weekend nor do I want it, it's just in my mind, I hope I have a good weekend :-( Proper sleep regulates your serotonin levels, which is the main neurochemical that influences depression/concentration/anxiety. I've went on a kind of sleep therapy for a while..gave me great strides..but I couldn't sleep w/out some sort of OTC aid..even if I worked out. They don't work as well r anymore now, figures right? But great sleep is so underrated in modern times..but trust me, it does work wonders. Anyway, I hope it gets better for u sooner rather than later. We're all in the same boat...pretty weird aftereffect of something special to u. But thanks for all the help u provide here. Outstanding insights. An
california15 Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 (edited) he's the last and first thought for me too. since I'm so used to his voice being the last thing I heard before sleep and upon waking up, I tried calling a friend last night when I got into bed to have someone to talk to so I wouldn't miss him. Didn't really work as well as I had hoped, but that could be 1)because I'm day 3NC or maybe because 2) It was my first night trying it or maybe 3)I was still wide awake with time to lay there after the conversation ended. Still going to keep trying it though - maybe it would help to have someone else on your mind (fresh from a phone call/text convo/visit/whatever) right before going to bed. I have a lot of pictures in my room too of friends (not him) I was thinking maybe looking at a picture and then thinking of all the fun times I had with that person while repeating their name before sleep. Haven't tried it yet. Not going to discount it though. Wanted to throw it out there. I'm thinking maybe if I can get rid of him being the thought either first in the day or last at night, then maybe the other will follow suit naturally. Hope it helped? Hope the name-repeating isn't creepy now that I read my post... Didn't mean for it to be portrayed as so; I'm just so desperate at this point to find something to relieve some of this pain in anyway I can that I'd do anything and suggest any relief measures I could think of to those experiencing similar things Edited June 3, 2011 by california15
whatdoido1717 Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Two things. I 100% agree with what people have been saying about how much sleep can help. Especially getting at least eight hours in a pitch black room. I have been focusing on that, along with nutrition and exercise the last month and a half and feel great. I wake up without an alarm clock now, have a ton more energy, am looking much better, and have dropped over 6% body fat. ...All that being said, and despite being much healthier and happier, I was almost going to post a similar thread to this one today. I can't get her out of my head. I spend a lot of my day driving for work, and it still seems to be the worst time, as I have to constantly try to keep her out of my thoughts. It happens so often sometimes it seems futile to even try and resist it. It doesn't effect my emotions a ton, but I am growing tired of her almost constant presence in my head. It is almost as if I am still addicted to her to an extent, which kind of makes sense, considering the background of our relationship I guess. "When life is hard, you have to change." -Shannon Hoon, Blind Melon
Author sun_moon Posted June 4, 2011 Author Posted June 4, 2011 You can do it sun_moon . Stay positive and work towards who you want to be. What is an accomplishment without a journey? Thanks for the encouragement, and its true, it is a journey. I love reading your posts I think I've said that more than once to you lol. You have a sense of eloquence, respect, and wisdom in your advise.
Author sun_moon Posted June 4, 2011 Author Posted June 4, 2011 he's the last and first thought for me too. Still going to keep trying it though - maybe it would help to have someone else on your mind (fresh from a phone call/text convo/visit/whatever) right before going to bed. I think I have tried that, well, reading something unrelated online or reading a book
TheVSilent Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 I broke NC after only 2 weeks today. Of course she didn't respond, so I am not helping my situation at all, but I am trying! This is why she is in my brain everyday, because I feel the need to talk to her, once I can completely get that out of my system I think I will be good.
Recommended Posts