Butterfly5525 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 (edited) I've read alot about NC & can certainly understand how/why it can be a wonderful tool in promoting healing. However, if you're hoping to at some point down the road to reconcile with your ex, which is best? Total NC or NIC (no initiated contact) & nonchalance meaning you don't initiate contact with them but if/when they contact you, you respond non-chalantly? Just curious to see what you all think about this. Personally, I think it would be very hard for me to act totally non-chalant when I still have all these feelings for my ex & also part of me thinks why he should he be able to have ANY access to me & know what I'm up to after he dumped me? However, if you guys think NIC(no initiated contact) but responding to him when he contacts me non-chalantly would be the best way to go, then I'm willing to give it a try. Edited June 1, 2011 by Butterfly5525
Billie The Puppet Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 NIC = LC which is limited contact which can be limited to any factor such as common property, children, or as in your question limited to when an ex contacts you. I would say that NIC is dangerous and would play with your emotions and it's best to do NC. This type of question is one that tends to come from someone who is using NC as a tool to win an ex back more so than they are using it to heal. The other common questions are, if they do want me back and I go complete NC how will I ever know? They will make it clearly apparent, show up to your door etc. They will not hind behind a text, email or im. What if I miss the reconciliation call due to NC? If they truly want you back again they will clearly find away to get the message to you. Sure they might give up and more along but then you truly were not worth the try to them anyways. All these questions still pertain to someone who is using NC to get an ex back. After time in the No Contact process the answers to these will no longer be as important as they once were and truth be told NC itself will not be as well. I've been NC since early Sept and Broken up since July. I'm at the point where I have no reason to contact my ex so NC is staying in effect but coming second hand, however if she should contact me I would be open to answering.
tela1425 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Personally, I think limited contact is best if looking for a possible reconciliation. Basically only contact if they contact you. And act confident, friendly and don't bring up the relationship or emotions. I've been doing this with my ex. We even had a friendly date and I acted like I did when we first started dating. Fun, funny, light, friendly. But, be careful, because once the contact is over, you may worry you didn't do things right, or start to miss them again. If you feel strong enough to do limited contact, then do it. Just be catious.
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