Once a slut, always a slut?

[nordic]

LOL

 

You assume ALL men think like you, which is NOT true.

I would like to be able to talk about it with my future partner, but I will have no problem withholding that information.

I don't tend to talk about it, anyway, as if I'm with someone, I think it's in poor taste to talk about previous sexcapades.

 

 

 

See here? I would have issue with this LONG before you started becoming impatient. If a men is insecure enough that he WON'T stop asking me about my sexual past, then we're not right for each other and I would move on.

 

My past is my own. I don't ask questions, so expect none asked from me, in regards to my sexual life.

 

 

 

 

And because you're God's gift to women, I'd be extremely bothered! If you kept asking me, I wouldn't even give you the sex part, so you'd lose out more than I would.

It's fair enough though. I always assume people have slept with 100+. It just doesn't bother me.

 

 

 

 

 

LOL Does this EVER happen??? I run into people I've slept with often, as I still keep in touch with some of them, and there are no sly smiles or knowing looks. It's the past.

Also, it would still be none of your business if I had slept with that person or not.

 

three things.

 

1) almost all men function like this. women hope that this not the case, but they are just blind, probably because they want to be.

 

again. mention a culture where men like to marry whores or sluts. you will not be able to. this mechanism is very stable over the planet and over time.

 

in fact. look not further than this thread. its 26 pages in no time at all. if this issue where so undramatic as you say, how is that? its pretty clear that emotions coupled to this, is way beyond most other emotions people write about here.

 

2) women behave very different from what you describe. its one thing to for a woman to sit in safety in front of a screen and press a keyboard, then you guys have a very clear understandign of what you would do and not do and how world works.

 

when its on, and for real, you just always behave very differently in real life. i know this. been there so many times. nothing women say is appliable in the world, other than by pure chance. so yes, maybe you would walk out, i would never ask until after sex anyway. its just not interesting unless there is realtionship in the cards. i dont care how many a sexpartner slept with. truth is though, most women in real life, when they get a bit hooked, will not walk out, and will struggle. just how it works in practice, when there is no screen to hide behind.

 

3) mmm, if you run into somebody you shagged alone while single, its of course undramatic. now if you husband is standing next to you, its not anymore. in fact, i would be surprised if he would even hear what you were saying, he would be measuring the guy who ****ed you up. and that guy would be warm and fuzzy inside if you used to be a **** buddy. he pretty much won over your husband. he ****ed without effort and without commitment, and you husband is now standing with a stroller having to know that.

[nordic]

See? This is where you're wrong. I don't NEED to do anything of the sort. If he doesn't trust me, then we shouldn't be together, end of.

 

If I did suck 30+ cocks in the past, it is MY business. Same way I don't ask how many pussy the man has licked.

 

And from what I'm reading here, you're quite the slut yourself, so I honestly don't see where you get off being all high and mighty about women who have had a few sexual partners.

 

Most women on LS would throw you to the kerb just as easily as you would a woman that has slept around.

 

women dont have this kind emotions in the same way as men, that is clear, therefore its not reciprocal. plus, what women say or write about what they are gonna do sexually is completely uncorreltated to what they do in real life. just has nothing to do with eachother beyond pure chance.

 

i agree. you dont need to do anything. and if you are happy living a cocksucking lifestyle, this will never ever be an issue in your life. coz no cock is gonna care about how many other cocks you sucked. cocks are very uncomplicated like that:)

 

the man who wants a real relationship with you will. i can promise you that. so if you are cock sucking queen, yes, try and not tell him that, and hopefully he will let it go.

 

dont, however, fool yourself and think that he doesnt mind. coz he does.

 

also, if he insist of knowing, get out. not only now in theory when sitting behind a screen. but in real life. set up the meeting with him and tell him face to face, taht you will give up this potential life long relaitonship with him, coz he is curious about your past. i hear you when you say this. and i understand. however, i have been so many women when given this situation will not do that, but instead will try to manouver and say tis not important and we shoudl still try. this is how the generic woman functions in real life, and has been for a quarter of a century when i have been dating. maybe you are very different, but i doubt it.

 

usually, here women try and bargain, coz they can not see how this could be more important than what we have right now, and the rest of our lives. so they will bargian, and then comes the lies. maybe you are the unicorn here, but you writing that means absolutely nothing, it just shown that you are a generic woman so far.

[betterdeal]

now if you husband is standing next to you, its not anymore. in fact, i would be surprised if he would even hear what you were saying, he would be measuring the guy who ****ed you up. and that guy would be warm and fuzzy inside if you used to be a **** buddy. he pretty much won over your husband. he ****ed without effort and without commitment, and you husband is now standing with a stroller having to know that.

 

Having to know that he's shagging her now, and the other guy isn't? Of all the conkers in the playground, he has the winner? And this frightens you because of what, exactly?

 

Do you have a tight foreskin, by any chance? You come across as overly concerned about other men having sex with women. You describe it quite a lot - other men having sex with women - but you don't talk much about your own sexual experiences. I think you may have phimosis or some other condition that makes sex somewhat traumatic for you, and you think other guys are having more fun than you when they do have sex. There are many options for dealing with a tight foreskin, and your doctor will be the best person to discuss it with.

Edited June 5, 2011 by betterdeal

[Taramere]

3) mmm, if you run into somebody you shagged alone while single, its of course undramatic. now if you husband is standing next to you, its not anymore. in fact, i would be surprised if he would even hear what you were saying, he would be measuring the guy who ****ed you up. and that guy would be warm and fuzzy inside if you used to be a **** buddy. he pretty much won over your husband. he ****ed without effort and without commitment, and you husband is now standing with a stroller having to know that.

 

This is some serious anxiety you're expressing. You won't be alone in being insecure, given that most people have some things they're insecure about....but in your case it sounds like a particular problem. You've already outlined a situation where it seems you were violent towards a woman because of your fears about being involved with a "slut".

 

From the way you talk, it's almost as though you view a woman as some sort of medium through which other men are capable of screwing you..

[nordic]

Having to know that he's shagging her now, and the other guy isn't? Of all the conkers in the playground, he has the winner? And this frightens you because of what, exactly?

 

Do you have a tight foreskin, by any chance? You come across as overly concerned about other men having sex with women. You describe it quite a lot - other men having sex with women - but you don't talk much about your own sexual experiences. I think you may have phimosis or some other condition that makes sex somewhat traumatic for you, and you think other guys are having more fun than you when they do have sex. There are many options for dealing with a tight foreskin, and your doctor will be the best person to discuss it with.

 

 

other men having sex with women are of no concern at all. i do ok on that front, and have enough girls so that i dont have to go without for every long even if i screw up any new prospects.

 

other men havinf sex with my wife. yes, that would be a concern.

 

and, what exactly did you win? when you ran into your girlfriends ons? you won because you married her? congrats.

[Stockalone]

Well I think you're right, and once again I'll point out for those who missed it--my ex husband of 23 years came out gay and if I could wave a magic wand and erase the memory of that and have him back as before, I wouldn't do it b/c I also prefer the truth, no matter how ugly. But yes, years and decades--half my life, wasted on someone who never could have wanted me--it's bad.

 

My sympathies. That's a terrible situation you had to deal with. But I saw you mentioning your children, that's a good thing.

 

 

But consider the child here--she's 12 and had nothing to do with her mother's sin. Why should she pay? I think the "father" did the right thing and he is surely a better man than any of us. How would it have harmed that girl if dad had found out that she wasn't his and just disappeared from her life? I work with special ed kids and emotional disabilities, and abandonment is one of the most harmful issues I have seen in a child's life.

 

You are right that the child is innocent. However, I don't know how I would react in such a situation. For example, I don't date single mothers, and one of the reasons is that I don't think that I would treat the children like my own if push comes to shove. They are still the kids of some other guy.

 

And I do have a vindictive side, so I actually believe I have the potential to walk away because of the anger I would feel because of the betrayal. But as I said, I don't know what I would do.

 

But, at least right now, I am pretty sure that I would have a DNA test performed, even if I were married, just to be sure that the kids are mine. Which would prevent a situation like you described. But that's also hypothetical, because it's unlikely that I will get married and have kids.

[betterdeal]

 

other men having sex with women are of no concern at all. i do ok on that front, and have enough girls so that i dont have to go without for every long even if i screw up any new prospects.

 

other men havinf sex with my wife. yes, that would be a concern.

 

and, what exactly did you win? when you ran into your girlfriends ons? you won because you married her? congrats.

 

Yeah, I don't believe you. You over intellectualise it and repeatedly detail other men having sex with women, but are vague about your own sexual experiences.

 

Even in the competitive framework you promote, the guy with the girl is the winner, and yet you are upset by the notion that you might meet a former shag. The idea of thinking of it as, "alright mate, I'm f*cking her, you're not, ner ner" hasn't even crossed your mind.

[nordic]

This is some serious anxiety you're expressing. You won't be alone in being insecure, given that most people have some things they're insecure about....but in your case it sounds like a particular problem. You've already outlined a situation where it seems you were violent towards a woman because of your fears about being involved with a "slut".

 

From the way you talk, it's almost as though you view a woman as some sort of medium through which other men are capable of screwing you..

 

well , she is. thats the consequences of how our sexuality is set up.

 

try cheating on your husband, and you will see if this is true or not in his case. you can chance that it wont bother him, but i would be surprised.

 

the issue is mutual. otherwise women would not lie. or state very strongly that they will never give up that information. why? if its so undramatic?

[betterdeal]

well , she is. thats the consequences of how our sexuality is set up.

 

You mean the The Mosuo people have the same sexuality as you, but somehow they have a matriarchal society, the women pick their lovers, there is no concept of fathers or monogamy, presumably because of some quirk of genetics?

[nordic]

Yeah, I don't believe you. You over intellectualise it and repeatedly detail other men having sex with women, but are vague about your own sexual experiences.

 

Even in the competitive framework you promote, the guy with the girl is the winner, and yet you are upset by the notion that you might meet a former shag. The idea of thinking of it as, "alright mate, I'm f*cking her, you're not, ner ner" hasn't even crossed your mind.

 

ok, on the experience part. i dont really care.

 

again. how are you a winner, because 50 guys ****ed your wife? because you are with her now, and the other 50 are not? well, then you would be an even bigger winner if a 100 men had sex with her, right? yes, you are correct, we are very different here. i dont see that as winning at all. i would feel more like a winner if my wife didnt have sex with anybody, but i had a ons with yours. you would seriously find that better? i am not sure i believe you.

[nordic]

You mean the The Mosuo people have the same sexuality as you, but somehow they have a matriarchal society, the women pick their lovers, there is no concept of fathers or monogamy, presumably because of some quirk of genetics?

 

no, i dont believe this.

 

where is this society. tell me and start a charter with sexually frustrated men from alaska, who will here meet paradise and have sex with any woman they want. maybe put themselves in bars and get picked up by women.

 

i have heard these kind of references over and over to obscure cultures, where everythign is sooo different. its just not true. i have lives in many different culutures and never seen that. hell, i grew up in sweden in 70s, which is supposed to be the most liberal society on the planet. even so, we never wanted sluts as girlfriends back then, so much for that myth.

 

kiwi and madagascar are other starnge places where sex flows free for men, and women are so different. sorry, its not, people are people everytwhere, adn these places dont exist.

 

best chance for uncomplicated sex, is to find women on vacation who are coming down in stress and are starting to look around for a bit of fun. but then it doesnt matter much where they are from. they behave pretty much the same regardless.

[betterdeal]

Honestly, I wouldn't care that you had sex with my wife in the past. The competitive framework is what you promote, not me. It doesn't make sense to me either, but it's how you choose to present things.

 

If my wife has sex with you, whilst we were involved, and without an agreement between us, I'd be upset that she'd mistreated me, for sure, and want to find out how we could change things to make that not happen in the future, be that by solving the problems between us or dissolving the marriage.

 

If I was, for example, on a six month jaunt around Africa, why on Earth would I care about you and her having sex so long as it was discrete, I didn't get to hear the details, there were no infections or pregnancies to deal with on my return? She can scratch an itch, by all means, and that's how I would expect to be treated in return.

[betterdeal]

no, i dont believe this.

 

where is this society.

 

Sure, here's a link: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=The+Mosuo

[nordic]

Honestly, I wouldn't care that you had sex with my wife in the past. The competitive framework is what you promote, not me. It doesn't make sense to me either, but it's how you choose to present things.

 

If my wife has sex with you, whilst we were involved, and without an agreement between us, I'd be upset that she'd mistreated me, for sure, and want to find out how we could change things to make that not happen in the future, be that by solving the problems between us or dissolving the marriage.

 

If I was, for example, on a six month jaunt around Africa, why on Earth would I care about you and her having sex so long as it was discrete, I didn't get to hear the details, there were no infections or pregnancies to deal with on my return? She can scratch an itch, by all means, and that's how I would expect to be treated in return.

 

ok, coz that competitve framwork of yours, would lead to that you would be a real winner if married her whore at the end of her career, you would have "won" over maybe 4000 men:) i can see why even you ditsance yourself from that idea, that would ahve made no sense for anybody.

 

and, ok, we are just very different, and i dont know anybody else like you.

 

you are ok with me having sex with your wife, as long as you are in africa at that time? that is very uncommon, but it takes all kinds i guess.

[nordic]

Sure, here's a link: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=The+Mosuo

 

i am not gonna look at this, coz its useless. you go there for yourself, and you will not be picked up by sex craving women, living out a male like sexuality. i know that without looking. its just a waste of my time.

[betterdeal]

i am not gonna look at this, coz its useless. you go there for yourself, and you will not be picked up by sex craving women, living out a male like sexuality. i know that without looking. its just a waste of my time.

 

Did you mean, "I did go there and I can't refute it, so I'm going to lie again"?

[betterdeal]

ok, coz that competitve framwork of yours, would lead to that you would be a real winner if married her whore at the end of her career, you would have "won" over maybe 4000 men:) i can see why even you ditsance yourself from that idea, that would ahve made no sense for anybody.

 

and, ok, we are just very different, and i dont know anybody else like you.

 

you are ok with me having sex with your wife, as long as you are in africa at that time? that is very uncommon, but it takes all kinds i guess.

 

I'm certainly not as vulgar as you, that's for sure.

[nordic]

Did you mean, "I did go there and I can't refute it, so I'm going to lie again"?

 

no, just that its not gonna be a society where female sexaulity is male like.

[nordic]

I'm certainly not as vulgar as you, that's for sure.

 

whatever works for you, i call it as i see it.

[stepka]

no, just that its not gonna be a society where female sexaulity is male like.

 

Even sluts are selective dear, and they can probably feel the angst rolling off you in waves. I think that many men will agree with you but I've never seen anyone who is this uptight about it. Most men are willing to deal with the reality of how society is now, or at least they have no choice so they go with it, but for whatever reason, maybe something happened in your life, you hate women. I have the impression that there is no one pure enough for you and if you married a virgin, you'd make her miserable too. And now you're getting on in years so your chances of finding a virgin anywhere near your age is closing and if you married her, you'd be out doing sluts behind her back, b/c in your mind it's perfectly fine to do these things. Wow.

[betterdeal]

whatever works for you, i call it as i see it.

 

And by use of selective dissonance, you see only what you want to and refuse to see that which shows up the nonsense in your argument.

 

I know this is as futile as juggling eels, but I'll explain as clearly as possible: you propose that your attitude is part of our very essence; I cite an example of a society that doesn't live up to your proposition; you ask for details; I supply; you refuse / deny reading the details and prevaricate by saying this society is of no use to you.

 

The notion of the nuclear family and male dominance is a largely post-war one, promoted by industrialists, aristocracy, churches and other dominant sub-groups to quieten down the masses.

 

Whilst priests preach the good word, they're f*cking the choir; whilst the aristocracies are paying lip service in public with fairy tale weddings, they're respectivelly banging the maid and stable boy. Why? Because it's fun. They enjoy it.

 

Be one of the masses, let your life be dictated by what's basically a convenient crowd control strategy, but don't fool yourself into thinking it's written in our souls.

 

Many people achieve a monogamous and harmonious relationship. It works for them. Many other people don't follow that path. Ignore the facts, dismiss the exceptions even if they are many, and lie all you wish, and sure enough, your world-view will be complete. Complete nonsense.

[thatone]

 

And the whole reformed slut idea.. What?? So what she played around then decided to settle down. I'm confident just as many men do it. Maybe if we dropped a lot of these labels, look as women as humans and not some type of power abusers, things would come along a lot easier.

 

drop the labels along with child support and alimony and you got a deal.

 

the problem is the woman any time she chooses can simply decide to leave and continue to take about a quarter to a third of the average middle class man's salary with him while she 'plays'.

 

unless he's earning far more than the average middle class person and thus isn't daunted by the child support/alimony, he's probably scared to death of that exact thing.

[mr.dream merchant]

Nordic has the right idea, he/she is just expressing it with vulgar language, as we all tend to sometimes do.

 

Most men have a ton of pride, myself included. With pride comes reputation. So when you've got a rep to uphold, it doesn't fair well to be emotionally involved with a recently retired slut, or a present day slut. Why? Because many men have had her without having to commit or put in any kind of effort. Men talk. You slowly become kind of a joke to the public, basically THAT guy. The one who's in love with a whore. Plus there's just an audacious factor to it. You slept with HOW many men for nothing...and I had to jump through all of those hoops? Lol.

 

Personally speaking here, but there's too many risks on the table when dealing with a slut. So my natural response is to tell her I'm not looking for anything serious, have NSA sex with her (if I'm horny enough) and go about my business, seeking out a woman with less baggage than a slut would have. That's it in a nutshell. Nothing wrong with a slut morally, she's just a slut with a TON of baggage. Baggage that I'll sit down and question to myself in privacy, then ask "Why would you SETTLE for all this baggage with a slut when you could have another woman who isn't a slut?" And that is the question that puts the nails in her coffin of a possible relationship with me.

[sally4sara]

drop the labels along with child support and alimony and you got a deal.

 

the problem is the woman any time she chooses can simply decide to leave and continue to take about a quarter to a third of the average middle class man's salary with him while she 'plays'.

 

unless he's earning far more than the average middle class person and thus isn't daunted by the child support/alimony, he's probably scared to death of that exact thing.

 

Whether you cheat or she cheats, any kids you two had will still need cared for. You are upset by that fact? And since most households are dual income, alimony isn't as common as you are factoring. Not to mention infidelity isn't the thread topic here. Marriage and kids isn't what is being discussed here. get to know someone well before marriage and kids to ensure compatibility of values. If promiscuity means someone can't be faithful upon a monogamous agreement, then promiscuity of both men and women should be equally avoided. You cant run around screwing anything that walks and say you, as a male can live up to monogamy easier or are better suited to committed relationship than a woman who behaved the same way you did. If it makes her not suitable, it makes you just as unsuitable.

[thatone]

Marriage and kids isn't what is being discussed here.

 

yes it is. if women were content to never have marriages and children we would be extinct after a couple hundred years.

 

Whether you cheat or she cheats, any kids you two had will still need cared for

 

yeah, that's my point.

 

If promiscuity means someone can't be faithful upon a monogamous agreement, then promiscuity of both men and women should be equally avoided.

 

people can be monogamous and still be whores. again, taking my divorce attorney friend's examples, i can point out men who have been married 7 to 10 times because the church tells them that every whore they meet must be married before they can have sex with her. i can point out women (more than those men, actually) who left normal, stable, non abusive husbands with toddler to pre-teen kids because they realized that their last good chances to screw around were passing them by and they had to get divorced by the time they turned 35 to do it.

 

all of those people are monogamous. they are all also whores.

Edited June 5, 2011 by thatone