SynSity Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 About two years ago I was diagnosed with a debilitating condition. There's nothing physically wrong but this could change at any given time. After I got the diagnosis my then partner left me. A few months later I was reacquainted with a former partner, this person also left after learning about the diagnosis. I then decided to just kind of be by myself when I met this really nice guy. We went out twice and he seemed to be into me so I told him about the diagnosis. I thought it would be in poor taste to keep it to myself much longer and let his feelings get involved before he knew. He left (not immediately) too. After the series of broken relationships, I decided to look for an FWB. That's when it started. I met one guy and saw him a few times and then I went back and got another, and another, and at this point (no judgment) I've slept with well over 40 people in the last year and a half. Often this could be just a one night stand, there are times when I haven't even talked to the person, or others where I've met some guy in a swanky hotel. I met a guy and am serious about him (he knows about the diagnosis) and he is into me. We are making a go of a committed relationship. My problem is I am drawn to sites like craigslist and all I can think of is the possibility of being with a guy I've never met before. I used to think it was brought on by all the rejection I received in those other relationships. Just feeling alone and having no one to touch me, but now I don't know what it is because my bf is very loving to me and I still have these urges. I don't want to put either of us in danger but I feel like I won't be able to stay away from this behavior for much longer. Any useful comments/advice are appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
ProjekctionMan Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Yeah, it definitely sounds like you've become a sex addict. Kind of like what happens when a vanilla person gets turned onto kinky sex. I'd highly suggest therapy, and also being open with your partner. Maybe he can channel some of your deep desires? If not, perhaps you need to work on yourself before you can officially commit to a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Y'know what, I think that women always evolve to 'test' the appeal of their own sexuality. NO amount of sex ed in 4th grade can describe to you just how plentiful the offers will be, and how often is "right" to accept them. So I'm never quick to say "sex addict" when a woman tells a story like yours. You may be projecting your "debilitating condition" out there, and then reasoning that, for the special case that is you, the minimal investment needed for those quick hook-ups at least lets you feel something, when you have deep doubts as to whether you will be able to give enough to 'warrant' a lengthy relationship (or, depending upon the condition), whether you can reasonably expect to be around long enough to be fair to someone. Now, after so many rehearsals, you are just familiar with the means through which you connect with what has been the source of immediate and steady gratification in recent times. Indeed you probably have to rehearse being part of a steady and rewarding relationship, but I think that it is a matter of time before you'll be fine that way. Tell us, do you have impulses to BOLT from what you have with the new guy now? Time... time... time... Link to post Share on other sites
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