Pepper Potts Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 So, how I'm feeling goes like this: I'm dating again, and I'd like to find my next relationship. But, then when I find a guy that I really would be interested in, I panic. All of a sudden I don't want to be tied down to a guy and I'm not so sure about it anymore. I basically want to have my cake (of finding my life partner/husband) and eat it too (never give up my freedom of being single). It's not monogamy that bothers me--it's the fact that if I did get into a serious relationship, I might have to give up certain things that I want to do. I couldn't just do what I want anymore without thinking about someone else. That makes me feel so uneasy. What does this look like from the outside? Does this reveal that I'm just not ready to be that serious? I find that hard to believe because I was ready to marry my ex--we broke up because he didn't want marriage. How can I go from one extreme of wanting marriage, to being so repulsed by the idea? It's weird, especially since my ex and I have been over since like November, so I doubt that it's because of lingering hurt feelings. Thoughts? I'm 26, and I thought I was ready to settle down, but maybe not.
smudge21 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Maybe it's the memory of what happened with your ex that's holding you back. Fine, you're over that and don't think about it, but it could still be in the back of your mind. I must admit, the thought of settling down scares me too, or at least it did until I met my recent ex. She was perfect in every way (so I thought) and I could've easily settled down with her. She came out of nowhere and changed my views totally, so instead of trying to think about this and plan it, you should just go out there and see what happens. If the person you meet you don't feel that connection with then so be it, spend some time with them, see how things go. Don't think so far ahead and just live for the the moment. Things may develop over time or they may not. I think if you're going out there and you are seeing every potential partner as someone to settle down with then that will be putting thoughts into your head, maybe even digging up old wounds too. Just be honest with whoever you meet and take it one day at a time, have fun. Life's for living and it's only short - so make the most of it.
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