Celestine Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Ok, a couple of weeks ago, I posted something about not liking to use the Facebook chat when talking to a guy I like. Guess what? My new guy and I mainly communicate through Facebook. Generally this bothers me, it gives me the impression that he never thinks of me and just randomly chats me up because I'm online. I tried to make him call me and didn't log on to the Facebook chat for three days, it didn't work, he didn't call. I know I'm playing games and I know I'm being unfair since I do not make an effort myself to call HIM. Yesterday I talked to him on Facebook and he took a long time to reply everytime I said something. After half an hour he finally told me that he had a friend over and was cooking. I found this extremely rude(towards both his friend and me), I said he should have just told me and that we could talk some other time. Why can't he just tell me that he's busy and say that he can't talk to me right now? So I figured I will have to talk to him about our communication problem. But I do not want to pressure him since we have only been dating for a month and are not in an established relationship. How do I bring this up? How do I subtly tell him that I'd like more/other types of communication without making him feel pressured?
thatone Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 tell him you don't like talking on facebook? call if you have something to say? don't get why this is so difficult.
ConfusedGuy28 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Don't be nervous about bring this up. And don't bring it up through chat! lol Tell him "hey can you call me tonight?" When he calls, have a normal convo, etc. Then bring up the fact that you would like to talk more on the phone, texting, etc. You can also bring up the friend over and fb chatting - but it's really not a big deal. He may have just really wanted to talk to you and his friend was making that difficult. In his eyes, maybe he was going an extra mile to make sure you guys talked. Whatever the reasons may be - don't attack or blame. Just clearly describe what you want and why. Period.
Author Celestine Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 tell him you don't like talking on facebook? call if you have something to say? don't get why this is so difficult. Call him if I have something to say is not difficult. But tell him that I do not like to communicate through Facebook is. You don't understand why? I'll tell you. It's fear. Fear that the other person will use the knowledge to hurt you. In this case, I'm afraid if I tell him, he's able to hurt me. He could a. totally ignore what I've told him(that would be a dealbreaker, def) or b. he could use it and only talk on Facebook with me when he's mad.
Author Celestine Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 Don't be nervous about bring this up. And don't bring it up through chat! lol Tell him "hey can you call me tonight?" I tried this today. I asked him to call me when he got off from work which is around 5 p.m., well, he didn't. But he was online(didn't talk to me though) for an hour, so it's not like he's been busy or something. Why do guys do this? I guess I should simply take this as a hint that he's not that interested in me. A little hard to accept that...
daphne Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 He could a. totally ignore what I've told him(that would be a dealbreaker, def) or b. he could use it and only talk on Facebook with me when he's mad. Or he could c. stop communicating with you through fb. Or d. a whole lot of other things. If you want something, you may as well just ask for it. I think you're overthinking this here. If he doesn't like it, the world won't come to an end. I promise.
thatone Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Call him if I have something to say is not difficult. But tell him that I do not like to communicate through Facebook is. You don't understand why? I'll tell you. It's fear. Fear that the other person will use the knowledge to hurt you. In this case, I'm afraid if I tell him, he's able to hurt me. He could a. totally ignore what I've told him(that would be a dealbreaker, def) or b. he could use it and only talk on Facebook with me when he's mad. i don't disagree with any of your points, i was suggesting that you simply tell him that you don't prefer to communicate on facebook, and you should tell him that if he has something to say, call you. i don't see it as being an unreasonable request. some people are on facebook all day, some people once a month. it's a simple personal preference that is easily accommodated, imo.
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