Is he interested? is he playing games? what type of guy is he?

May 31, 2011

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Hi,[/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I wased introduced to a guy for a first time from a group of friends about 2 weeks ago. Amazingly and desireably handsome, typical Eaton College boy with perfect slick brush back hair, well dressed, perfect personal grooming. He had me at hello. Was my type, intelligent, confident etc. I have a boyfriend so despite of his desirableness i wouldn't think of the chances of him going for me or me having any hopes. My boyfriend of 4 years was there also as part of the group which would even stop anything from happening. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Anyhow, that night, it was 2 days before i was starting a new job which i happen to find out that it is the SAME company which he also works for (he's a commodity trader) so how weird of the coincident which got us talking. At first it was just friendly and conversational talking about work, the company and him giving his opinon about the company etc. He then started to ask which one of the group is my boyfriend so i pointed. Next i don't know if he's just being friendly then he started to give me his card which still i didn't think anything of. He then said to me just before he took out his business card and say 'if you do run out someone to go out to lunch with then email me, i know many great places'. Then i started to have a little question in my head if he was just being friendly or can he also be interest in me as well?! then i was just being friendly and trying to think of what to say in reply so i said 'great, and i look forward to it'. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]For rest of the night after that, i've kept recieving amazing desireable and very direct and flirtatious eye contacts from him across the room, whereever i went, sat, or stood, he somehow was also there. I can remember the way he looked at me and watched me as i moved, talked or danced. Whenever our eyes met, i felt good, felt amazing inside. Though I was constantly with my bf so nothing can really happen, but i was postive that he was interested. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]After this, I finally started work, i had thought about sending him an email, there was everypart of me that really wanted to contact him but i didnt because of my boyfriend. So a week into my new job i've seen him around 1-2 times which all at far distance and i was with people and so was he so i looked but didnt say anything. The 2nd time i saw him was at the lobby when i was waiting for a colleque of mine and saw him upclose as he enters the building, so i said 'hi', and for some reason he looked at me like he didnt know me and said hi in a least passionate way and walked off. at that moment i was completedly surprised asking doesnt he remember me? or he does but he's no longer interested? so i was stunned then carried on standing there waiting for my friend, i then turned around to see where hes gone then caught him looking at my ass and quickly turned around and gone up the lift. What?! [/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]His friend told my boyfriend not to introduce him to me as he's been known to be a womaniser, ladies' man, etc but i dont believe it because he was really nice that night. After when he pretend he didnt know me that when i started to think twice. Anyhow he left me thinking even more about him which is not what i should be doing since he's playing on my insecurities. I knew that he was obviously playing hot and cold. but still i cant help myself and so i emailed him. i said:[/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]-'hi, it's ....... we met a couple of weeks ago, friend of ........?' [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]-he wrote back saying ¨'Hi, How are you settling along? I think i must have seen you the other day, i had a massive memory blank and sorry if i'd appeared to be rude![/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]-knowing that he's probably great with his games of playing cold and apologize later and thought i'd start something flirty and said 'lol, is that so, your kind of memory blank is very interesting, im settling in fine, how about you?'[/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]- he replied, 'all is good, enjoying the whether! i will see you around and welcome' and that's it just cut off the email like that and its making me puzzeled. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Is he interested or not?? he hasnt added me on facebook now that he know my name, he didn't mention anything about lunch, just i willl see you around??? what does that mean???[/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]HELP i think i like this guy too much, my heart beats fast and i get all flustered when he's near, like a school girl again, what should i do??[/FONT][/sIZE]

May 31, 2011

I think you know what his intentions are...

I mean, he knows you have a bf and still feels the need to pursue you while playing his own little mind games.

No offense but you can't let your hormones control you for the rest of your life.

May 31, 2011

I tried to read your post but the formatting is all messed up. Can you please repost it in normal text, thanks.

May 31, 2011

It's exciting and maybe you are enjoying the attention (or game-playing!) of an attractive guy, but is it really worth losing your boyfriend for?

If he's this fickle or game-playing now it probably doesn't bode well unless you like the drama of it all... it really depends what you want.

GP

May 31, 2011

Hi,

I got to introduced to a guy for a first time from a group of friends about 2 weeks ago. Amazingly and desireably handsome, typical Eaton College boy with perfect slick brush back hair, well dressed, perfect personal grooming. He had me at hello. Was my type, intelligent, confident etc. I have a boyfriend so despite of his desirableness i wouldn't think of the chances of him going for me or me having any hopes. My boyfriend of 4 years was there also as part of the group which would even stop anything from happening.

Anyhow, that night, it was 2 days before i was starting a new job which i happen to find out that it is the SAME company which he also works for (he's a commodity trader) so how weird of the coincident which got us talking. At first it was just friendly and conversational talking about work, the company and him giving his opinon about the company etc. He then started to ask which one of the group is my boyfriend so i pointed. Next i don't know if he's just being friendly then he started to give me his card which still i didn't think anything of. He then said to me just before he took out his business card and say 'if you do run out someone to go out to lunch with then email me, i know many great places'. Then i started to have a little question in my head if he was just being friendly or can he also be interest in me as well?! then i was just being friendly and trying to think of what to say in reply so i said 'great, and i look forward to it'.

For rest of the night after that, i've kept recieving amazing desireable and very direct and flirtatious eye contacts from him across the room, whereever i went, sat, or stood, he somehow was also there. I can remember the way he looked at me and watched me as i moved, talked or danced. Whenever our eyes met, i felt good, felt amazing inside. Though I was constantly with my bf so nothing can really happen, but i was postive that he was interested.

After this, I finally started work, i had thought about sending him an email, there was everypart of me that really wanted to contact him but i didnt because of my boyfriend. So a week into my new job i've seen him around 1-2 times which all at far distance and i was with people and so was he so i looked but didnt say anything. The 2nd time i saw him was at the lobby when i was waiting for a colleque of mine and saw him upclose as he enters the building, so i said 'hi', and for some reason he looked at me like he didnt know me and said hi in a least passionate way and walked off. at that moment i was completedly surprised asking doesnt he remember me? or he does but he's no longer interested? so i was stunned then carried on standing there waiting for my friend, i then turned around to see where hes gone then caught him looking at my ass and quickly turned around and gone up the lift. What?!

His friend told my boyfriend not to introduce him to me as he's been known to be a womaniser, ladies' man, etc but i dont believe it because he was really nice that night. After when he pretend he didnt know me that when i started to think twice. Anyhow he left me thinking even more about him which is not what i should be doing since he's playing on my insecurities. I knew that he was obviously playing hot and cold. but still i cant help myself and so i emailed him. i said:

-'hi, it's ....... we met a couple of weeks ago, friend of ........?'

-he wrote back saying ¨'Hi, How are you settling along? I think i must have seen you the other day, i had a massive memory blank and sorry if i'd appeared to be rude!

-knowing that he's probably great with his games of playing cold and apologize later and thought i'd start something flirty and said 'lol, is that so, your kind of memory blank is very interesting, im settling in fine, how about you?'

- he replied, 'all is good, enjoying the whether! i will see you around and welcome' and that's it just cut off the email like that and its making me puzzeled.

Is he interested or not?? he hasnt added me on facebook now that he know my name, he didn't mention anything about lunch, just i willl see you around??? what does that mean???

HELP i think i like this guy too much, my heart beats fast and i get all flustered when he's near, like a school girl again, what should i do??

May 31, 2011

thank you for all your replies. I know what you're saying i'm realising what i'm doing but for some reason i still just want to pursue this guy, i've been thinking about him ever since that night and our eye contacts. For some reason im willing to make something out of this guy, im going for what i want and not holding back because of my bf. i know its wrong and not fair but i dont feel the same with my bf ever, he is a good person really, gives me evrthing and be there no matter what, etc he's my 1st ever bf and im only 23 and he wants to get married. some part of it makes me feel safe that i've got someone who loves and be there for me but i feel like im missing out on all those fun and sparks and perhaps that might lead to real love. i feel that im not with my bf because i really love him and cant live without him, im with him because of what he gives me not what i can give him also. (:(

May 31, 2011

Hi,

I got to introduced to a guy for a first time from a group of friends about 2 weeks ago. Amazingly and desireably handsome, typical Eaton College boy with perfect slick brush back hair, well dressed, perfect personal grooming. He had me at hello. Was my type, intelligent, confident etc. I have a boyfriend so despite of his desirableness i wouldn't think of the chances of him going for me or me having any hopes. My boyfriend of 4 years was there also as part of the group which would even stop anything from happening.

Anyhow, that night, it was 2 days before i was starting a new job which i happen to find out that it is the SAME company which he also works for (he's a commodity trader) so how weird of the coincident which got us talking. At first it was just friendly and conversational talking about work, the company and him giving his opinon about the company etc. He then started to ask which one of the group is my boyfriend so i pointed. Next i don't know if he's just being friendly then he started to give me his card which still i didn't think anything of. He then said to me just before he took out his business card and say 'if you do run out someone to go out to lunch with then email me, i know many great places'. Then i started to have a little question in my head if he was just being friendly or can he also be interest in me as well?! then i was just being friendly and trying to think of what to say in reply so i said 'great, and i look forward to it'.

For rest of the night after that, i've kept recieving amazing desireable and very direct and flirtatious eye contacts from him across the room, whereever i went, sat, or stood, he somehow was also there. I can remember the way he looked at me and watched me as i moved, talked or danced. Whenever our eyes met, i felt good, felt amazing inside. Though I was constantly with my bf so nothing can really happen, but i was postive that he was interested.

After this, I finally started work, i had thought about sending him an email, there was everypart of me that really wanted to contact him but i didnt because of my boyfriend. So a week into my new job i've seen him around 1-2 times which all at far distance and i was with people and so was he so i looked but didnt say anything. The 2nd time i saw him was at the lobby when i was waiting for a colleque of mine and saw him upclose as he enters the building, so i said 'hi', and for some reason he looked at me like he didnt know me and said hi in a least passionate way and walked off. at that moment i was completedly surprised asking doesnt he remember me? or he does but he's no longer interested? so i was stunned then carried on standing there waiting for my friend, i then turned around to see where hes gone then caught him looking at my ass and quickly turned around and gone up the lift. What?!

His friend told my boyfriend not to introduce him to me as he's been known to be a womaniser, ladies' man, etc but i dont believe it because he was really nice that night. After when he pretend he didnt know me that when i started to think twice. Anyhow he left me thinking even more about him which is not what i should be doing since he's playing on my insecurities. I knew that he was obviously playing hot and cold. but still i cant help myself and so i emailed him. i said:

-'hi, it's ....... we met a couple of weeks ago, friend of ........?'
-he wrote back saying ¨'Hi, How are you settling along? I think i must have seen you the other day, i had a massive memory blank and sorry if i'd appeared to be rude!
-knowing that he's probably great with his games of playing cold and apologize later and thought i'd start something flirty and said 'lol, is that so, your kind of memory blank is very interesting, im settling in fine, how about you?'
- he replied, 'all is good, enjoying the whether! i will see you around and welcome' and that's it just cut off the email like that and its making me puzzeled.

Is he interested or not?? he hasnt added me on facebook now that he know my name, he didn't mention anything about lunch, just i willl see you around??? what does that mean???

HELP i think i like this guy too much, my heart beats fast and i get all flustered when he's near, like a school girl again, what should i do??

It means nothing. You made no impression and he appears not to be interensted in someone who will cheat on her BF. You know nothing about what is going on in his head...hot and cold games or otherwise. You are daydreaming and spinning conjecture about what he may or may not want with you. It at this point is all in your head. I.E. fantasy. Maybe you weren't that memorable.

May 31, 2011

Whatever THIS guy is thinking, you should be thinking of being a 'free agent' yourself. If your heart is all a beat over him, or anyone other than your BF; and you are so worried about the thoughts of a man other than your BF, you shouldn't be with this BF.

As well, your BF should be with someone who's not obsessing about someone else.

May 31, 2011

It is summer, the kids are out of school and they are coming out of the wood work.

May 31, 2011

[bentnotbroken;3430705] ''It means nothing. You made no impression and he appears not to be interensted in someone who will cheat on her BF. You know nothing about what is going on in his head...hot and cold games or otherwise. You are daydreaming and spinning conjecture about what he may or may not want with you. It at this point is all in your head. I.E. fantasy. Maybe you weren't that memorable''

replying to your quote above. That is an interesting point and thank you for raising it up. it is a possibility. but i have some questions.

1) if he wasn't interested then why would he directly tried to catch my eyes longer than 4 seconds for atleast 4 times during the evening when my bf was right there, knowing that im with him, still willing to make some play. surely it would also say more about what the guy is like as well?

2) why would he give me his card and suggest lunch when its my first time of meeting him and i dont know him at all. he's been known to be experts at mind games with ladies where they make a great first impression showing the girl all the attention, then next time completely ignores them to play on their insecurities so that they would want him more. he's a very smart guy would have had alot of women. its not that i will go that far to do anything aprt from a friendly meetup because i like the attention.

i guess i feel ive not had many challenges in my relationship that it feels like i need some little fun, not sure whether i'd go that far. that's why im posting to seek some thoughts

May 31, 2011

I think you are focusing on the wrong guy. Who cares what this guy is up to? If you are bored with your boyfriend then either spice things up or break up with him. Cheating is not the answer. It only brings heartache all around. I hope you learn from the rest of our mistakes & don't go there. Instead look at what's up with you & your boyfriend!

May 31, 2011

I think you are focusing on the wrong guy. Who cares what this guy is up to? If you are bored with your boyfriend then either spice things up or break up with him. Cheating is not the answer. It only brings heartache all around. I hope you learn from the rest of our mistakes & don't go there. Instead look at what's up with you & your boyfriend!

good thought

May 31, 2011

i understand what everyone's said but, all i've done is emailed 2, 3 lines with the guy, and even if we do go to lunch, we'll just be work colleaques or friends, is that still considered as cheating?

May 31, 2011

i understand what everyone's said but, all i've done is emailed 2, 3 lines with the guy, and even if we do go to lunch, we'll just be work colleaques or friends, is that still considered as cheating?

That depends. Will you show your posts or share your thoughts about this 'colleague', in full honesty, to your BF? Will you tell your BF you are going to lunch with this guy, just as a friend. Will you remind your BF it's the guy from the party he was warned about? Would you mind if your BF went to lunch with a colleague or friend if the whole situation was reversed?

I don't think I have to tell you which yes or no answers to the questions would make it cheating or not. Do you want to be committed to someone who tests the waters claiming innocense with someone else? Propably no you are your BF would like to be on the recieving end of that.

May 31, 2011

So you've decided to walk along the slippery slope.

Good luck.

June 1, 2011

I was friends with a very good looking charming man who is also very insecure on the inside. One of the things he does to battle his insecurity and boost his confidence is to flirt and get women interested in him. He loves loves loves female attention, it feeds his ego and makes him feel good. He will charm any woman, married, single or otherwise attached. Their relationship status doesn't matter because he doesn't plan to follow through anyways, at least not with the married or attached ones. And while he's not above flirting and stroking the ego of a married or attached woman so that they will in turn stroke his ego back, he also secretely despises them for being so willing to cheat on their partners. He will flirt shamelessly with them and then refer to them as skanks behind their back because he hates cheating women. This is mostly why we are not really friends anymore. We had a heated discussion about his behaviour and attitude.

So anyways I think you are spending far too much time thinking about this guy and wondering what it all means. I figure the flirting didn't mean anything to him. It was just a fun thing to do at the time but he probably hasn't given it a thought since. On the other hand, if you want to chase men, why don't you just break up with your boyfriend first?

June 1, 2011

1) if he wasn't interested then why would he directly tried to catch my eyes longer than 4 seconds for atleast 4 times during the evening when my bf was right there, knowing that im with him, still willing to make some play. surely it would also say more about what the guy is like as well?

2) why would he give me his card and suggest lunch when its my first time of meeting him and i dont know him at all. he's been known to be experts at mind games with ladies where they make a great first impression showing the girl all the attention, then next time completely ignores them to play on their insecurities so that they would want him more. he's a very smart guy would have had alot of women. its not that i will go that far to do anything aprt from a friendly meetup because i like the attention.

i guess i feel ive not had many challenges in my relationship that it feels like i need some little fun, not sure whether i'd go that far. that's why im posting to seek some thoughts

Response to 1) Yes it says something about the guy. At the same time, it is also saying something about you. If you catch someone looking at you, then you are also obviously looking at him. What does this say about YOU?

Response to 2) If you know this guy is a player and has bad characteristics, why do you want to get involved with him at all? And if you know he has the history of talking women into things, why do you think you wouldn't go any farther than a friendly meet-up when you have already initiated flirting in response to a decidedly cool email?

Bottom line, no matter what, no matter what happens with you and this guy, break up with your BF first. You are definitely not into your BF, you are definitely not committed to a R with him, and why f*ck up a perfectly good man by cheating on him? Just let go of your security blanket and be a single woman and date/sleep with whoever you want.

(I always find it telling as to a new poster's intentions as to where they post. This is posted in OW/OM, not in dating, not in flirting, not in business relationships. Sounds like the OP wants to jump straight into OW-hood.)

July 4, 2011

I just saw your post on having no friends. I felt quite sorry for you until I looked at your previous posts and found this thread.

I DO however, feel sorry for your BF. It sounds like he really loves you, and you're willing to go out to lunch dates with this twat and jeopardize your current relationship.

As someone else has said; give your BF the decency of breaking up with him before you begin hanging around with this other lad who you clearly fancy.

If I found out my GF was doing the same with some other guy, she'd be out the door in a heartbeat.

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