Lilmisus Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 No real reason for asking I'm just curious how often your ex crosses your mind, and how often you wish to actually see/speak to them when your thoughts do stray to them. When do you get to the point when they're just an afterthought that you don't really worry about anymore? For me - I only think about him when I have too much time on my hands now. That's the reason that I try to stay very busy with work, being with friends, and doing any little activity (reading a book, playing a game, working out, etc) that I can to keep my thoughts far away from him and her. But I'd say a couple times every couple hours do I let my thoughts stray to him for a little bit. Only once yesterday though did I actually wish I could talk to him, and that was because I read a story that I thought was hilarious that I knew he'd love to hear about, and I wanted to get his reaction. Besides that - no other time in the past week or two..and I must say, it feels great Moving on is a wonderful thing. How about y'all?
learned76 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 As my relationship ended a week ago, the frequency in which I think about my ex is constant. However, I will say that when I'm busy, I don't think of her. But, as is the difficult part of a fresh breakup I'm coming to realize is that even when I'm doing something, she'll pop into my head, so I don't go for too long without thinking of her.
whatdoido1717 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I am about a month and a couple weeks out and am doing much better. When I am active (i.e. at the gym, out and about downtown, playing basketball, or going to a concert) I hardly think about her. The rest of the time she is on my mind almost constantly still. Luckily there is no real pain or sorrow while she is on my mind, she is just there and I sort of end up thinking about good times or random things, but she is lingering more than I would like her to.
Trovador Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I think frequently of her but then again I remember most important people in my life, in fact I think still of my former ex daily, especially when I shower... he he, but it is because she taught me a sort of a belly dance (good for the dorsal area) and as I always practice it at that time, well you see the connection... So, knowing that I probably never will forget my "current" ex, I don't worry about thinking of her, but I can tell you that she is not the main thing in my mind now, despite we are coworkers and we bump into each other regularly... however, last night I played chess on the computer for a whopping 3 hours and I didn't think of her at all, I know I shouldn't feel glad for this (because it's sort of giving her too much importance) but I couldn't but feel elated that the worse has ended...
Desensitized Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 No real reason for asking I'm just curious how often your ex crosses your mind, and how often you wish to actually see/speak to them when your thoughts do stray to them. When do you get to the point when they're just an afterthought that you don't really worry about anymore? For me - I only think about him when I have too much time on my hands now. That's the reason that I try to stay very busy with work, being with friends, and doing any little activity (reading a book, playing a game, working out, etc) that I can to keep my thoughts far away from him and her. But I'd say a couple times every couple hours do I let my thoughts stray to him for a little bit. Only once yesterday though did I actually wish I could talk to him, and that was because I read a story that I thought was hilarious that I knew he'd love to hear about, and I wanted to get his reaction. Besides that - no other time in the past week or two..and I must say, it feels great Moving on is a wonderful thing. How about y'all? Like you, Lilmisus, I also think about her when I have too much time on my hands and when I want to share something hilarious that happened/heard of. I think about her more than a couple times a day, but I don't really let it get to the point that it ruins my day. I ended up deleting most of "our songs" so I don't really have any more triggers that can really screw up my day.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 been 2 months since the breakup for me and I still think about her almost constantly. but I do not feel constant pain or resentment. I do get a little upset here and there but that also seems to be subsiding as time goes on. I have been living by this quote: "I know what I felt and who I felt for" hope that quote also helps others going through a break up
MissMoni Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Wow, everyone posting here is so recently broken up that I feel pitiful..it's been 8 months in a week. But I still think about him every single day.
sinnister Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I think frequently of her but then again I remember most important people in my life, in fact I think still of my former ex daily, especially when I shower... he he, but it is because she taught me a sort of a belly dance (good for the dorsal area) and as I always practice it at that time, well you see the connection... So, knowing that I probably never will forget my "current" ex, I don't worry about thinking of her, but I can tell you that she is not the main thing in my mind now, despite we are coworkers and we bump into each other regularly... however, last night I played chess on the computer for a whopping 3 hours and I didn't think of her at all, I know I shouldn't feel glad for this (because it's sort of giving her too much importance) but I couldn't but feel elated that the worse has ended... Same here..only time I don't think about her is when I'm playing FB chess lol. Can't play complicated games anymore...esp since I'm into RPG's n there's lot of romance. Thought about getting Black Ops..but she was so pissed I was into MW2 lol. Other than Chess..pretty constantly..although I will see someone for that...but had the breakup/fallout been more respectful..she would've fallen out my head like most. After 2 calls w/in a month from her/me n it seemed not responsive...usually drops out of my head pretty fast as I maneuver to other things/people.
Nohbody Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Lots and lots. But someday she won't be the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. And that'll be pretty good when it happens.
Author Lilmisus Posted May 31, 2011 Author Posted May 31, 2011 Lots and lots. But someday she won't be the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. And that'll be pretty good when it happens. God, I'm so glad that I can finally say that he's no longer what I think about first thing in the morning or last thing at the end of the night. That's when it hurt the most for me; when I was still in the daze between awake and asleep and I could fool myself into thinking that he was still mine..just to get the jolt of a reminder that hey..he's not mine..he's hers, and she basically stole him from me. It was horrible. Now, I wake up thinking about work (when I worry about being late for it...) or the beautiful day ahead of me, and that's what I try to focus on instead. It's better than pretty good though..it's f*cking fantastic. Can't wait for that day to come for you too!
PelicanPete Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I often think about the relationship due to being on LS, but rarely do I just think about her if that makes sense. When I do think about her, I just think of the memories of us together. They were filled with love when we were together, frustration and depression when she broke up with me, but now its just indifference, I don't even feel anything thinking about the night she broke up with me. I sometimes wish I could talk to her again, but that is more out of habit since we use to talk everyday. I know there is no longer a purpose for her in my life, and she has already proven that she doesn't deserve to be a part of it. It's been almost 6 months since we broke up, we were together for ~4 years. I'm glad it's done and over with, I put in a lot of effort to get to this point
Fedor Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I think about her alot because it was recent. But, I'm starting to heal and I'm thinking less and less about her everyday. It's hard because we did almost everything together so its hard for her not to pop into my head when something funny happens or when I do something like a watch a movie. Takes time I suppose.
sun_moon Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I think about him every freaking day and too many times during the day, but I see that its getting easier for me to cope and he's in my thoughts less each day. BUT STILL EVERY FREAKING DAY. together 2 years, broken up for 2.5 months. I cant wait till the day when I'm indifferent. today I cried a little, I haven't cried about him in over a week and a half.
EgoJoe Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Throughout the day, it's mostly just about how things devolved and the lack of a definitive end...despite both of us trying to break up. She doesn't want to talk to me and I don't really want to talk to her. I just want to say stuff I held back on. Also, Sun_moon you can do it!
Annalisa Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 We've been broken up 2 mths. I still think abt him everyday, when I wake up and when I go to bed. When I pass by his house (I'm not stalking him he lives nearby). When **** happens and I'm sad and I want to call someone but I text message friends instead. I haven't found a job yet so I have too much time and I think of him. But it's not as bad as it used to be. Love songs don't make me cry anymore (although I really relate to Before It Explodes by Charice). When I go shopping for clothes, I don't browse while thinking if he'd like a certain dress/skirt/whatever it is. There are still some bad days though. Thanks for this thread. It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one going through all this :-)
radiodarcy Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 after three months NC - - i still think about him every day. but it's gotten to be less than it was before. now instead of thinking about him 24 hrs a day it's probably around 21 hrs/day.
Freesia120 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 My break up is also very recent and I'm thinking about him all the time.I have so much time on my hands after been laid off but I'm glad my move will be keeping me busy in the next few days. I broke NC and text him asked to meet up with him...He was cordial at first but warmed up a little later on.We hugged when we parted ways but he didn't make any eye contact just told me to have a good day.He hurt me first where is his spirit of forgiveness??
victoriaaa Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 every second of every day. been 3 weeks since he ended it but been in contact the whole time. so first day of nc today after he dropped off my stuff. he looked so nervous and awkward it kinda made me realise its over. i cant imagine forgetting him but i hope it will get less frequent. i dont wake up feeling as empty as before now.
chris1987 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I still think about her every day. Its been 4 months. NC has helped alot. I found some one new and she still for what ever reason is in my head. Just not ready for a new girl I guess. It has gotten much easier over time.
TheVSilent Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Everyday. It has been 12 days of NC, and nearly 3 weeks since we broke up. Today has been the worst day for it, I have cried and slept, I've been sick too so it isn't helping. Breaking up sucks, when it is your fault it is even worse I think.
ItsRainingAgain Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Broken up for about a month...he crosses my mind all the time. It's killing me not knowing if I cross his mind at all.
Karala Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Almost every second of every day since over 3 months of separation. But 3 months ago was not the real separation, just a sort of dress rehearsal, lol, or a trial break in disguise if you will. We had been in NC for 2 months, then I called him and we got together "as friends" a month ago, and I tried the whole stupid "get your ex back" strategy, to no avail, because his decision was a rational one, and not based on his lack of love for me. Then we talked things through for real at last, got closure, and said good-bye just yesterday. So for me the real separation and start of NC was yesterday and hopefully, in 3 months' time again, I won't be thinking of him every second of the day again.
Karala Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Broken up for about a month...he crosses my mind all the time. It's killing me not knowing if I cross his mind at all. Whatever your situation, I'm sure you do cross his mind, but what I'm even surer of is that it doesn't matter nearly as much as you think it does. I'm slowly starting to realize that when someone says they don't want to be with you anymore, it doesn't mean their love wasn't real or even that they necessarily don't love you anymore, but for whatever reason, they just can't or don't want to do the relationship anymore and there's nothing you can do about it but try your best to let it go. It feels like you're exactly where I was a few weeks ago and I feel your pain. Hope you can let go of the obsession a little bit, like I'm starting to do.
otherfish Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 EVERDAY/EVERY MINUTE. Its been nearly 3 months after ending our 2.5yrs relationship. There is no question that I love her and want to be the one beside her thru this life. Its amazing how when you know someone isn't right for you, you still want them. There is something about her that I wanted to be her saviour. She is really a jaded person because of her past holding onto alot of unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment but in the end I wasnt able to tear down her fortress of self-preserving walls. We had no closure at all and that is the part that kills me. We didnt sit down and lay everything out on the table and decide its not working. A stupid argument and that was it....we haven't spoken since. We really had some laughs and good times. I did my best to make me unforgettable. Although, I know she will never forget me it wasnt enough to get her to contact me and set things straight. Not to sound like an a-hole but every single long term relationship (4) that I have ever been in they always returned to reconcile. This last woman is a tough nut to crack and extremely stubborn. I doubt I will ever hear from her again and that is unfortunate. So, I hold onto the words of HOMEBREW and JASONRULES....those LS'ers are very insightful when it comes to relationships. Thanks guys,.......
Recommended Posts