sinnister Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 (edited) I need to find her new email add first. Guess I just can't belive that the tables have turned so much in a month, now I feel I have lost her I am panicking although still hoping she will be in touch in a month? I say all signs point to never, even if she did give false hope. Just depends on how good the r/s was b/f it broke down. With space and time away...n probably a new dude/experience to compare you to..she can objectively say that you were actually a pretty decent guy n boyfriend. Hell, you might even be marriage material...still, for right now, it looks to be done. I still don't think she changed as much as you said if you received a text from old phone...athough some changes weren't made yet..lol. Could've just taken out SIM card? Maybe she has multiple phones..and if she has that..then you have to know that the old email address is still active. This could be what she's telling you. Spend today crafting the most brilliant FINAL response you can..and send it to the old email address with delivery confirmation/read receipt or as some posters said..to her door and wait a few months to see if she's going to try to be in your life in any capacity. Those r the only options you seem to have been left with, I'm sorry. Edited June 5, 2011 by sinnister
Author DesperateDan Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 I tried the old mobile no and it is disconnected. The last few months I had been a sob to her as well/
Author DesperateDan Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 And I know she has blocked my email add, even though its an old account, as she told me not to bother emailing as she wouldn't get it
Graceful Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Sadly she is very very attractive and because she always came back before, I thought she would again? I am still hoping she will, I sent her a friendly message just before she cut me off, to let her know I wasn't going to be mean anymore I guess its normal to feel like this, I do love her, but I push and push and she took it until now If this is what you call love, then I don't blame her for letting go once and for all. Why sit there and wonder if it's over? You know you didn't treat her properly. Feelings die, you know. Feelings such as love don't just live on nothing; love lives when it is nourished and nurtured, just like any living thing. You didn't nurture her. You admit to having been a SOB for months and that you have been on/off playing mind games for a long time. Made bed. Now lie in it. That's the take away for you. You blew it. Can't you see that? You think love is a game of wills, that you can push and push, even push someone away and they're going to want to be with you? I'd say she's wised up. And you should, too. Sorry.
sinnister Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 And I know she has blocked my email add, even though its an old account, as she told me not to bother emailing as she wouldn't get it Again, there's no reassurances you can get at this stage of the game. You either have the frontal sensory assault and plead that some advocate (where you go meet her face to face) or the route of trying to respect what she's said. There's no right answer here..but you have a better chance to know whether she's gotten email by sending it to the old one with delivery confirmation and read receipt and see what happens. It's not an easy choice and you're going to have a lot of frantic energy/regrets you're going to be living in for a bit..but there's no good options here. But to start..just start on either what you're going to try to say to her in person or the letter...starting with your mistake/apologies first and/or interspersed in the middle and all her amazing qualities and why she'll be great in your life. Treat this as your lasting resume..good vibe producer, being contrite, remorseful, but hopeful. All opinions have been valid options...but the choice on how to proceed is up to you...there's ways to find out whatever is keeping you from the last connection..but you're gonna have to pull the trigger soon..before she cools too much. But still, maybe that'll be a good thing in this sit at well. No good options.
Author DesperateDan Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 Mmm..email bounced back as undeliverable. I am trying to understand why she seems to have cut off all ways I can get in touch with her, I know she still loves me, it makes no sense. She is on facebook but has blocked me, I'm thinking of setting up a new profile to send her a message?
usabup Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Mmm..email bounced back as undeliverable. I am trying to understand why she seems to have cut off all ways I can get in touch with her, I know she still loves me, it makes no sense. She is on facebook but has blocked me, I'm thinking of setting up a new profile to send her a message? No I wouldn't set up another account to message her, that will creep her out. Your situation compares to mine in a lot of way. I'm ex loved me more then I ever imagined possible. But that is the problem here. When someone loves you so much and puts all their trust/faith in you and you hurt them, it makes it 100 times harder to get them back. She may well love you still but that's not the point. The point is, she dosnt want to love you anymore. And by cutting herself off from you, she is taking the steps needed to fall out of love with you and forget you. One of the other posters was right, she is letting her head rule her heart now and once this happens, its game over. I would honestly say you have left it too long for starters. You should have tried to contact her over a week ago as I suggested. Any contact you have at this point will literally make her angry. I know from experience believe me. I think your only option is to leave her alone. Accept this phase of the relationship is over and just hope that your paths cross again sometime in the future and she is willing to give you another shot to start fresh. But the chances are slim. As I say, if she really loved you and you hurt her, she will never forget that pain and why would she run the risk of feeling it again? All the sorrys in the world arnt going to change anything now. Nothing can change what has already happened.
Kodo Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 As I say, if she really loved you and you hurt her, she will never forget that pain and why would she run the risk of feeling it again? I don't want to give false hope to anyone, but this comment really stood out for me. If that is the case, why do so many of us take back exs or spend our time here hurting so much but wanting things back the way they were?
Author DesperateDan Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 I think I will wait till she gets in touch with me, try and be friends and take it from there?. If I haven't heard in a month I will get in touch. I will give her space now.
Author DesperateDan Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 But I lashed out as I had been so angry/sad/depressed about things:mad:
usabup Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Mate!! Seriously, you should of come on here and vented before you replied. Then you could have spoken with a clear head. What did she say and how did you reply?
Author DesperateDan Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 She just said Hi, and hoped I was ok, wished me a happy birthday, sorry things had happened like they had but it was a bad time for both of us. I instantly replied and said don't contact me again It was the hurt talking I think and I could weep now
TearyEyedPride Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Smh. Dan I read all of the comments. And honestly... if I was your ex I wouldn't talk to you again either. It's like she reached out, and you completely bit off her head in a vulnerable moment. You showed that you really were an insensitive jerk, and although she reached out with nothing confrontational, and wished you a happy birthday... you completely just flipped. I'm sorry, but I have alot of pride thus the name lol, but yeah I wouldn't try to reach you again either. Maybe when she's over you she'll contact you again, because she's actively taking those steps to stop loving you aggressively. Now she's in NC as well... She did exactly what you asked and she's not going to contact you again until she's comfortable doing so. *sigh* Maybe that love she has for you will let her reach out during a vulnerable moment, IF and that's a huge IF, please don't blow it. Depending on how far she's gotten in her "get over you" phase... it might be too late. Then again I'm not the Pope on this subject, but that's just me perception.
batsheba Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 i can say i was in the same situation as your ex. i have reached out and reached out to my recent ex, never heard back at all. then i sent a final letter saying that is it, just to make it official, and that we both have to move on. by the third month he reached out via email but i was already in the "indifferent" and determine to heal stage. i didnt email back not to hurt him but its more so not to hurt myself. so maybe your ex was like me. i do am sorry to hear what you are going through. if you want her back, promise her you will not put her thruogh this again as it is tough.
Author DesperateDan Posted June 23, 2011 Author Posted June 23, 2011 She has someone else now, I have just found out. For some reason this makes me want her more, as it seems so finally over?. Is that a normal reaction, I am trying not to think about them together.
usabup Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 She has someone else now, I have just found out. For some reason this makes me want her more, as it seems so finally over?. Is that a normal reaction, I am trying not to think about them together. Mate you told her not to contact you again, she isn't going to just sit at home alone forever is she! Having said that, it could be a rebound etc Yeah its a normal reaction to want what you can't have, it gets easier though.
Chi townD Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Wow, okay dude. You got your answer. You screwed up when she approached to the first time to take it slow and work it out, but you pushed her away. Funny how they start contacting you after they start seeing someone else. Boggles the mind on why they do that. Okay, you got your answer. She's hooking up with some other dude just one month after your break up kinda speaks volumes on how she really felt about you and your relationship. Let her go, ignore her texts and start to heal from this. But, I hope you've learned a lesson here and will apply it to future relationships.
Chi townD Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 OH! and if she does contact you again just ignore it. Go out with some dignity. If she texts and you lash out, then you're just giving her the power to feel justified in breaking up with you because your being a complete ass. However, I don't think she will. I think this is done.
Recommended Posts