sammielove Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 After everything...I think that he never should have asked you. It's just rude! You should only offer not be expected to pay half.
musemaj11 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 By the way guys, if you want to always pay for everything on dates, thats fine. But just because you guys do that, doesnt mean its the job of every man to pay for women. Although I always pay on the first dates, but I hate paying. It makes me feel worth less than my date. It makes me feel my date isnt as appreciative of my time and attention as I am of hers. As Zengirl said, people who are extremely interested are going to do anything in order to impress their date. However, people especially men also need to learn to expect equal effort to impress from the other side. Unless you are only after short term goal such as sex. But if you want long term compatibility, you want someone who shows she wants to impress you as much as you want to impress her.
Mike B. Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I'm aware, but look at it this way: $50 a date 1 date a week $50 x 52 wks = $2600 That is $2600 per year as long as I am single that I would be investing. Even conservatively, over 40 years, you could tack two zeros on the end of that figure by retirement http://www.dailyworth.com/posts/437--50-Week-x-45-Years-1-Million No he didn't do the math on it! Hahahahahahaha!!!! You are killing me! I have seen it all now. You can't help these people! ROFLMA.
Sanman Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 (edited) No he didn't do the math on it! Hahahahahahaha!!!! You are killing me! I have seen it all now. You can't help these people! ROFLMA. Laugh all you want...I'm laughing all the way to the bank. Math may be difficult for you, but that only took me a few seconds. Edited May 31, 2011 by Sanman
carhill Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 One caveat and take it from a banker. Don't get married
Sanman Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 One caveat and take it from a banker. Don't get married Well, I personally prefer to marry carefully and selectively. I have learned that it is best (for me at least) to date women who want careers and pull in roughly equal to greater salaries than I do. I am also picky about character and only interested in women who are willing to work on a relationship and invest as well. I bring those same traits and expect nothing less.
musemaj11 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I think the younger the women, the less self-entitled they are due to different generational infuences. Just recently I kind of went out with a 19 year old. And when we went to get something she simply went ahead and paid for herself without any awkward moment as if she didnt have any belief at all that anyone else should pay her way. And when I asked her jokingly why she didnt expect me to pay for her, she was like, "Should I?" I guess people are just the products of their generations. People who grew up in the 60s and 70s are not going to think the same way as those who grew up in the 80s or 90s.
Mike B. Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Laugh all you want...I'm laughing all the way to the bank. Math may be difficult for you, but that only took me a few seconds. But did you adjust for inflation in that calculation!!???:lmao::lmao: Because you know that dating someone today won't cost you the same as dating someone in 20 years. I can see that you had it added it up until retirement. Lol. I'll add one caveat to the one Carhill gave you. Don't get into a relationship! Not that you have a choice in the matter but women like to go on nice vacations, have nice Valentine Days, nice birthdays etc,. Boys should stay at home and play with toys. Let the men date the women.
Sanman Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 But did you adjust for inflation in that calculation!!???:lmao::lmao: Because you know that dating someone today won't cost you the same as dating someone in 20 years. I can see that you had it added it up until retirement. Lol. I'll add one caveat to the one Carhill gave you. Don't get into a relationship! Not that you have a choice in the matter but women like to go on nice vacations, have nice Valentine Days, nice birthdays etc,. Boys should stay at home and play with toys. Let the men date the women. Some women like vacations and others do not. Some women like flowers and some do not (some prefer plants). Some like Valentine's Day and others find it corny. That is the wonderful thing about women. They are individuals with different views just as men are. However, the next woman I date that wants a 'Man' to tell her what she likes rather than simply speak her mind, I will send your way. As for the women I date, they have their own minds, their own interests, and their own money!
Mike B. Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Some women like vacations and others do not. Some women like flowers and some do not (some prefer plants). Some like Valentine's Day and others find it corny. That is the wonderful thing about women. They are individuals with different views just as men are. However, the next woman I date that wants a 'Man' to tell her what she likes rather than simply speak her mind, I will send your way. As for the women I date, they have their own minds, their own interests, and their own money! Whatever, dude. Now that I know that you are the type to calculate dating expenses up until retirement I can't even take you serious anymore. Good night internet doc!
carhill Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Well, I personally prefer to marry carefully and selectively. I have learned that it is best (for me at least) to date women who want careers and pull in roughly equal to greater salaries than I do. I am also picky about character and only interested in women who are willing to work on a relationship and invest as well. I bring those same traits and expect nothing less. I think that's a sound plan. However, one caveat, and this bit me with my exW who made as much as, or more, than myself. Be very careful arriving into marital bliss with markedly differing net worths. Some my opine that whatever is yours before marriage is yours, but the law is very complex on such matters, as I found out. FWIW, my ex and I never had issues with who paid for what. That part of the courtship process was a non-issue. Hehe...
Sanman Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I think that's a sound plan. However, one caveat, and this bit me with my exW who made as much as, or more, than myself. Be very careful arriving into marital bliss with markedly differing net worths. Some my opine that whatever is yours before marriage is yours, but the law is very complex on such matters, as I found out. FWIW, my ex and I never had issues with who paid for what. That part of the courtship process was a non-issue. Hehe... Found that out the (slightly) hard way my most recent ex was terrible with money despite having better earnings that previous girlfriends. I absolutely keep that in mind and definitely prefer the lower maintenance women even if I give up a little in looks. They tend to save their money and enjoy the simpler things in life. Being seen at the nicest places is not something I find enjoyable and usually just empties my wallet fairly well over the course of a relationship.
Sanman Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Whatever, dude. Now that I know that you are the type to calculate dating expenses up until retirement I can't even take you serious anymore. Good night internet doc! I calculate all my expenses. It is part of keeping a budget and spending responsibly. As I said, spend all you want on women. I prefer to be responsible and save my money for the truly important things in life.
OliveOyl Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I calculate all my expenses. It is part of keeping a budget and spending responsibly. As I said, spend all you want on women. I prefer to be responsible and save my money for the truly important things in life. Hey! What's more important than women?!? :lmao:
Sanman Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Hey! What's more important than women?!? :lmao: Spinach?!?! Or the one woman I finally choose to settle down with. I'd rather spend my money showing the one woman in my life and my future children how much I cherish them then waste it on random women I will never speak to again. Love a good sense of humor though OliveOyl.
Mrlonelyone Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 The thing about that is to get that one woman to love and cherish you you need to date around a bit. OR do what the East Indians do and get your family to pick someoe for you. Even then there is no guarantee it will work out. Understand it's a numbers game. That's NOT to say that you should just date utterly random women. Most relationships no matter how auspicious the beginning do not work out. 90% of them. So you have to date 10 women to find one with whom it really works out (as in last to a point of getting married and staying married for a while.... most relationships end well before reaching that point.)
thatone Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 No he didn't do the math on it! Hahahahahahaha!!!! You are killing me! I have seen it all now. You can't help these people! ROFLMA. and the math is more like chilis/applebees in the suburbs math, not NYC math. as we suspected? two meals and two drinks apiece is at least 100 around here in the 'average' restaurants, don't know where you get that for 50. higher end local places closer to 200.
Mike B. Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 and the math is more like chilis/applebees in the suburbs math, not NYC math. as we suspected? two meals and two drinks apiece is at least 100 around here in the 'average' restaurants, don't know where you get that for 50. higher end local places closer to 200. Exactly as we expected. They don't want to treat a woman in the first place and if they had to, it certainly won't be at a nice restaurant. You can't expect someone who calculates the potential cost of taking someone out to Chilis for the next 40 years and to retirement to throw some actual nice dates in that calculation. I have seen it all. First one guy comes up regurgitating his sociology class lessons talking about Victorian eras and Aristocrats and what not. I am thinking ok, this is a guy who is sitting at a PC wearing a blazer with patches on the sleeve and a monocle trying hard to look smart on LS by referencing Wikipedia. Next thing I know, I see that the other dude had calculated out his potential expense for treating his woman out to Chilis for the next 40 years. What can you do but laugh?
Sanman Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 and the math is more like chilis/applebees in the suburbs math, not NYC math. as we suspected? two meals and two drinks apiece is at least 100 around here in the 'average' restaurants, don't know where you get that for 50. higher end local places closer to 200. Yup, you got me there. It could not have been that I was referring to the previous poster's $50 suggestion for drinks that I quoted.
TheyCallMeBruce Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Why does it make you uncomfortable? What if your financial situation was not that great? (not sure if that is the case with the guy but just curious) My financial situation sucks. Doesn't matter. It really bothers me to let a girl pay. Even to go dutch. It makes me feel ****ty. Like I'm a cheap piece of ****.
musemaj11 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 My financial situation sucks. Doesn't matter. It really bothers me to let a girl pay. Even to go dutch. It makes me feel ****ty. Like I'm a cheap piece of ****. I used to feel like that, too. But I realized that women are no better or no less than me. I see no reason to treat them differently than how I would be treated myself.
OldOnTheInside Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 It really bothers me to let a girl pay. I believe in gender equality. Don't you?
Author SingVoice Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 Sorry for the delayed response....I was actually on ANOTHER date with him. He actually asked me out again for tonight! We just went to watch the NBA game at a bar and had a pitcher of beer. I was nervous when the check came because I didn't know what to expect. It was only like $10. So he grabbed for the bill....and I grabbed for my wallet and told him I had some cash. He said he would only let me pay the tip. We didn't talk about what happened....we just had a good time. S
milkmaterial Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 well after reading this thread more i realized a few things,, that it was kind of rude of him because he asked her to go dutch out of nowhere after "appearing" to be financially okay with paying for these dates because what if she only had 2 bucks w/ her at that time, or what if her wallet got stolen, stuff like that. but if she invited him out then she should be ready to shoulder the cost (whole or half). i mean you cant blame the op for expecting since she did try to show him she wants to pay for her share and he adamantly refused. several times. when i was younger, i wouldnt even date if i didnt have a job or money. people would ask me why i didnt have a bf and i'd be like, "cause i dont have enough money to support myself and another person." then they'd be like, well youre not gonna pay for it he is and im like uh no i am. ive gotten kinda used to paying at least the guys gas or the drinks for our meals or pay for the food in movies.
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