Surf Rider Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 It made me feel better to delete it because i don't want to deal with all of the drama. My ex broke up with me over a year ago and a bunch a stuff started on her wall and i just didn't want to deal with all that stuff. Did i make the right decision? I fell i did.
sun_moon Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 oh my my my homebrew your comments are making me laugh. I've been Facebook free for over a year (too much drama, took too much time away from the day), boy was I glad I wasnt on FB when my relationship ended in March. Yes, you did the right thing by deleting FB. DONT YOU DARE TWITTER EITHER! lol just come to LS.
Author Surf Rider Posted May 31, 2011 Author Posted May 31, 2011 My personal opinion... If you were dumped, you will come to believe that Facebook was invented by Satan, that it is pure evil and it's sole purpose is to torment you until you are in complete devastation and ruin. Knowing that... You are very wise to delete it. You obviously do not want to add to the pain, agony and sorrow that you are already feeling. My other personal opinion about Facebook... Real Men... do not Facebook. Thanks man!! Appreciate your opinion.
Kodo Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 If it's making you feel better, I'm happy for you and feel you made the right decision! How is your social network without it though? Do you find yourself disconnected from people at all?
Exit Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I'm in the same boat, I deleted mine on Sunday night after accepting that my ex was just leading me on about maybe trying with me again. First I thought about deleting just her (but it was a big uphill battle just to get her to ADD me again after we had our original fight), so I figured screw it, I won't single anyone out, I'll just delete mine. I hate that it takes 14 days to actually delete. I hope I can even hold out that long lol. I'll probably make another one not too long after that, once I feel healed enough.
Idalis Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 My personal opinion... If you were dumped, you will come to believe that Facebook was invented by Satan, that it is pure evil and it's sole purpose is to torment you until you are in complete devastation and ruin. Knowing that... You are very wise to delete it. You obviously do not want to add to the pain, agony and sorrow that you are already feeling. My other personal opinion about Facebook... Real Men... do not Facebook. ALL of THIS!!! Am I the only one who finds guys who facebook a complete turn off??? My bf uses it rather frequently and I still haven't told him how much of a turn of it is. I think men should be strong & silent, not divulging their every thought on the internet. UN attractive in my opionion.
Exit Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 ALL of THIS!!! Am I the only one who finds guys who facebook a complete turn off??? My bf uses it rather frequently and I still haven't told him how much of a turn of it is. I think men should be strong & silent, not divulging their every thought on the internet. UN attractive in my opionion. Haha, this thread is making me smile. Kinda making me glad I got rid of mine and maybe I'll be able to stick to it. Although I had a Facebook, I was still a silent guy, never posted anything really lol except music videos and links to sites. Going through my recent breakup I could have turned to Facebook to let out all my boo-hoos and create more drama, but I'd rather delete it lol. I really hate FB. It caused so many stupid problems with me and my ex. It's nice to have a place to post pictures from your phone, "check in" about where you're at with friends, but as far as just commenting on stuff all day long, getting addicted to it, I hate it.
lalalandman Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 yea, take it from me. Deleting FB is a very smart move. Good call.
Idalis Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Haha, this thread is making me smile. Kinda making me glad I got rid of mine and maybe I'll be able to stick to it. Although I had a Facebook, I was still a silent guy, never posted anything really lol except music videos and links to sites. Going through my recent breakup I could have turned to Facebook to let out all my boo-hoos and create more drama, but I'd rather delete it lol. I really hate FB. It caused so many stupid problems with me and my ex. It's nice to have a place to post pictures from your phone, "check in" about where you're at with friends, but as far as just commenting on stuff all day long, getting addicted to it, I hate it. Yeah, I'm getting to that point too! I'm not saying its all bad, but I do think society is still adapting to this new reality where we can seriously keep tabs on anyone, and have tabs kept on us. I feel like its bringing out the worst in a lot of people! And it also makes people very brave to do things they wouldn't do (like proposition a married man for example) just because they feel cloaked by being behind they keyboard. Its rather sad. But, to get back on track, I sort of cringe when my bf updates his status to mundane everyday things that I feel don't need to be shared with the world. I think you're better off to take a good long break from it. Until you get a grip on your emotions.
Kodo Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 1. Relationships are hard enough as it is... why add Facebook which has the potential to add complication, drama, arguments, misunderstanding, hurt feelings, jealousy, Exes, etc. into the mix. 2. The relationships I know where both people had Facebook... They spend more time looking at their partners page.... than their own. Wonder why? 3. I have never met a women that has said... I really do wish my BF / Husband would have a Facebook. Always the opposite... I wonder why that is? 4. Porn is such a MAJOR problem for men... You think they wouldn't rather do it for real? 5. Most of the men and ALL of the women I know who are happily married and have Facebook... have been hit on or outright propositioned for hook ups / sex. 6. etc. Would you say then with moderation and self-discpline, it's fine? I personally was never one for facebook (except for the chat feature) until recently. I find that I'm connecting with more people. But I'm also not the one to post dramas on my wall. It's for recent achievements or what I call "silent communication". Posting things that people would want to hear and can now hear quite conveniently. Your points seem to support this. That it can be a great tool for mature people. Not sure what the porn statement means though?
Exit Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 (edited) Haha more good posts in this thread. Homebrew I like your point that when 2 people have FB and start dating they spend more time looking at each other's page than their own (because of paranoia and jealousy). My ex pulled such a double standard on me about this, sure I every once in a while asked her who so-n-so was who she was talking to on there, but she would just as often freak out at me for talking to female friends, if a girl posted anything on my "Wall", if I liked anyone's pictures, if someone liked my status, etc. Man, I thought it was going to be a struggle to not sign in for the 14 days until it gets deleted, but talking to you guys is making it easier. Yeah FB is definitely not all bad, it's like any tool, it's neutral by design, it's about the intentions of the people who are using it. And when you're in a relationship and trying to use Facebook, peoples' intentions become a big concern. A hammer can be used to build something or to hurt someone. Facebook can be used to keep in touch with friends or it can easily facilitate infidelity in a relationship. Even if WE are able to use it "maturely", not post all our personal ramblings on there, you still have to deal with everyone else. Edited May 31, 2011 by Exit
lalalandman Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Plus they say the average human being can't maintain decent relationships with more than 50 people at any given time...so there you go.
Exit Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Plus they say the average human being can't maintain decent relationships with more than 50 people at any given time...so there you go. Hm I haven't heard that before but that's pretty easy to believe. The older I get the more complex I realize relationships are, even just friendships. Even 50 sounds like a lot! I don't know what people get out of having 800 FB friends. My recent ex had 200+ and every time she logged on she'd be accepting some new guy as a friend, how many friends and how much attention do you need? I think I had 46 friends when I deleted mine the other night. (And this ex with 200+ had the nerve to keep questioning me). I don't think I'll start another one for a long time unless I really feel it's affecting my social life. But I can't remember the last time I actually made plans with someone or found someone from my past who I really wanted to talk to. I'm sure some people do use it as a major means of communication, but I'm never on there creating or accepting invitations to events and all that stuff. Even if I just leave it temporarily, it's nice to focus on other things. Ironically, I was thinking to myself that after the 14 days I'd be able to post "Successfully deleted my Facebook" as my status. Lol.
sinnister Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 It as we explored the world. I wanted her to feel beautiful..n didn't like/respond to ANY of that social media s==t b/f her. It does have a lot of potential though. It is built for people w/strong r/s's as it is a virtual shopping cart of cheat, lol. If I could tell u how many so-called "married women" peruse my profile. Just wish I wasn't damaged goods right now..plus when I really go to the grinds with my body again..I have a place to market test it first. It's just a vanity tool nothing more....but you can use it in any way you want. I've had political arguments with people a thousand miles away....it's just a good way to keep connected with college chums...esp when there's tests/hw n u missed a class n don't have their email. If you want to use it to cheat/force a cheat, it's there too. I just can't wait to do something pretty inspiring again on it..n that inspires me too.
Exit Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Yeah, my ex and I never took advantage of the good aspects of FB. When we first met I had to go visit family in Florida and I brought her along. We had pictures of our trip and everything but at that time I didn't really know what we were so I never put up the ones involving her. Then we got together and continued to take pictures whenever we went somewhere but we kept avoiding using them on Facebook, we pretty much never showed off our relationship or let people see that we were together. Maybe we wouldn't have been so paranoid about each other if we had pictures of each other doing stuff and people saw us together in pictures etc. I asked her if this is something we could work on, use Facebook to make our relationship better instead of just letting it cause fights, but I never got that chance. Oh well, now I get to be free from FB and she can keep playing Farmville.
sinnister Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Yeah, my ex and I never took advantage of the good aspects of FB. When we first met I had to go visit family in Florida and I brought her along. We had pictures of our trip and everything but at that time I didn't really know what we were so I never put up the ones involving her. Then we got together and continued to take pictures whenever we went somewhere but we kept avoiding using them on Facebook, we pretty much never showed off our relationship or let people see that we were together. Maybe we wouldn't have been so paranoid about each other if we had pictures of each other doing stuff and people saw us together in pictures etc. I asked her if this is something we could work on, use Facebook to make our relationship better instead of just letting it cause fights, but I never got that chance. Oh well, now I get to be free from FB and she can keep playing Farmville. 100 percent right I think people r too shy to flaunt their r/s's on it..but if you're happy, you can make someone else happy too...n maybe that can actually save your r/s, maintain it. IDK, jaded people will say that if you need that for that it really wasn't that strong..but again, social pressure to insecure people says a lot. Plus, insecure people r that way most of the time b/f they don't think they're beautiful...really can't accept it...it to me felt like a great way to break her out..but never got that chance. We had to keep the origins of the r/s secret b/c of social pressure of e-dating..but damn..what a missed op..now she'll never get that chance as she has to keep her exp with the new guy pretty locked down as to avoid a lot of shame/confusion. Homebrew is right that it causes many breakups/divorces, but we're just a instant gratification society right now...and everything's in our face. Things will slow down again, moral/purity/character will come back...n that'll be good just to be happy on.
dramadramadrama Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 hi! I deleted Facebook for a very similar reason, along with the fact I was sat with my bf. (x now) and he got a message from a girl on his wall. we were in the pub, he freaked by this. I said don't worry just reply- couldn't understand why he'd got so funny about it, until it dawned on me she'd obviously been inboxing him & he didn't want me to know. anyway from there the evening went down hill. he suddenly went from declaring his love to hiding his phone, saying he felt like going home and leaving me literally stood there. he never goes home alone, long story short that ended hes now living with the girl. from that moment I decided I'd rather not be part of Facebook if that's what it creates, I'm pretty sensitive so it drives me crazy seeing photos etc anyway but much more than that I'd rather just take people at face value. I feel much better for it, no he wrote this, she wrote that dragging me down. in a way I feel much more free! also I went through my friends list before I did and counted the people I'd seen in the street but not spoken to, there were alot- just proves how fake it all is, they know what I had for breakfast but dont say hello. I'd rather a real friendship thank you! there is a bit of time where you feel really cut off but after a while you fill this and wonder why you ever spent so much time using it! I am so glad to be out of it, I know that if boyfriends use it it will really put me off, preferring to speak to someone in the virtual world than someone sat right next to you is crazy! when looking back I bet you'd never hear friends say "remember that great conversation we had on facebook' it's wasted time!
domple Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 It made me feel better to delete it because i don't want to deal with all of the drama. My ex broke up with me over a year ago and a bunch a stuff started on her wall and i just didn't want to deal with all that stuff. Did i make the right decision? I fell i did. I was dumped a few years ago and all her friends were using FB to stalk me and it just hurt seeing pics of her so I deleted my FB for over a year (then made a new one from scratch. Now going back a few months ago I was in another longer term breakup and I have LOTS of her friends and photos of my ex I decided to not delete but block her and remove all the aspects of her in my life. I also blocked her and yeah I still have FB now and it hurt deleting all teh pics and the mutual friends but it can be healthier. Another solution is to deactivate it and when your ready reactiveate it and delete or keep what you will. Either way I know what FB can do and I compely relate
shortee143 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 My ex- after 3 months, just deleted me. We have the same friends that's why I didn't bother deleting him. I can delete him off facebook, but not my real life, so what's the point, if he has new girl, I'll just have to see her with him in person anyway. Idk why he did it- I just saw him the night before. Prob to continue to be a jerk to me. But I think you did the smart thing, I cant tell you how often I hear, and have experienced, the facebook wrath post breakup, When someone of the opposite sex posts to their wall, relationship status changes, untags pics- it all can drive one nuts and hurts. Ridiculous, but true! I am trying to look at my ex deleting me as him doing me a favor!
Author Surf Rider Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 hi! I deleted Facebook for a very similar reason, along with the fact I was sat with my bf. (x now) and he got a message from a girl on his wall. we were in the pub, he freaked by this. I said don't worry just reply- couldn't understand why he'd got so funny about it, until it dawned on me she'd obviously been inboxing him & he didn't want me to know. anyway from there the evening went down hill. he suddenly went from declaring his love to hiding his phone, saying he felt like going home and leaving me literally stood there. he never goes home alone, long story short that ended hes now living with the girl. from that moment I decided I'd rather not be part of Facebook if that's what it creates, I'm pretty sensitive so it drives me crazy seeing photos etc anyway but much more than that I'd rather just take people at face value. I feel much better for it, no he wrote this, she wrote that dragging me down. in a way I feel much more free! also I went through my friends list before I did and counted the people I'd seen in the street but not spoken to, there were alot- just proves how fake it all is, they know what I had for breakfast but dont say hello. I'd rather a real friendship thank you! there is a bit of time where you feel really cut off but after a while you fill this and wonder why you ever spent so much time using it! I am so glad to be out of it, I know that if boyfriends use it it will really put me off, preferring to speak to someone in the virtual world than someone sat right next to you is crazy! when looking back I bet you'd never hear friends say "remember that great conversation we had on facebook' it's wasted time! Yeah the same situation happened with my ex. Her crazy ex b/f was trying to "win her back" and he had been privately messaging her through facebook for 5 days and it wasn't until the 5th day that she told me he was privately sending messages to her. First of all, I was ticked off at the fact that her ex had the nerve to privately text my g/f now ex and my g/f now ex kept replying back. If she truly loved me or cared about me, she would have stopped doing that and told me right away, but she didn't.
Author Surf Rider Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 hi! I deleted Facebook for a very similar reason, along with the fact I was sat with my bf. (x now) and he got a message from a girl on his wall. we were in the pub, he freaked by this. I said don't worry just reply- couldn't understand why he'd got so funny about it, until it dawned on me she'd obviously been inboxing him & he didn't want me to know. anyway from there the evening went down hill. he suddenly went from declaring his love to hiding his phone, saying he felt like going home and leaving me literally stood there. he never goes home alone, long story short that ended hes now living with the girl. from that moment I decided I'd rather not be part of Facebook if that's what it creates, I'm pretty sensitive so it drives me crazy seeing photos etc anyway but much more than that I'd rather just take people at face value. I feel much better for it, no he wrote this, she wrote that dragging me down. in a way I feel much more free! also I went through my friends list before I did and counted the people I'd seen in the street but not spoken to, there were alot- just proves how fake it all is, they know what I had for breakfast but dont say hello. I'd rather a real friendship thank you! there is a bit of time where you feel really cut off but after a while you fill this and wonder why you ever spent so much time using it! I am so glad to be out of it, I know that if boyfriends use it it will really put me off, preferring to speak to someone in the virtual world than someone sat right next to you is crazy! when looking back I bet you'd never hear friends say "remember that great conversation we had on facebook' it's wasted time! Yeah the same situation happened with me and my ex. Her crazy ex b/f and i mean crazy, was trying to "win her back" and was privately messaging her through facebook for five days. It wasn't until the 5th day she told me what was going on. First i was ticked off at the fact that her ex had the nerve to try to get her back. Second, i was mad that she continued to talk to him even though i didn't let her know i was mad. If she truly loved me and cared for me, she would have ended the conversation the moment he messaged her.
Author Surf Rider Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 I was dumped a few years ago and all her friends were using FB to stalk me and it just hurt seeing pics of her so I deleted my FB for over a year (then made a new one from scratch. Now going back a few months ago I was in another longer term breakup and I have LOTS of her friends and photos of my ex I decided to not delete but block her and remove all the aspects of her in my life. I also blocked her and yeah I still have FB now and it hurt deleting all teh pics and the mutual friends but it can be healthier. Another solution is to deactivate it and when your ready reactiveate it and delete or keep what you will. Either way I know what FB can do and I compely relate Yeah i completely deleted it. You can deactivate it or delete it.
OldSkool Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Social networking is evil!! I deleted FB a few months ago and signed up with meetup.com. It's so much more satisfying to actually meet people in person and make friends the old fashioned way as opposed to pressing an "add as friend" button. Just my $.02.
Karala Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 My personal opinion... If you were dumped, you will come to believe that Facebook was invented by Satan, that it is pure evil and it's sole purpose is to torment you until you are in complete devastation and ruin. Knowing that... You are very wise to delete it. You obviously do not want to add to the pain, agony and sorrow that you are already feeling. My other personal opinion about Facebook... Real Men... do not Facebook. AMEN!! and lol ^^ To the OP : I did the same thing and I'm very glad I did. I was going completely crazy with stalking my ex's wall and reading deep meaning into each of his links to rap videos, lol. Besides, even without the ex issue, this stupid site took up too much of my time anyway.
Author Surf Rider Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 Social networking is evil!! I deleted FB a few months ago and signed up with meetup.com. It's so much more satisfying to actually meet people in person and make friends the old fashioned way as opposed to pressing an "add as friend" button. Just my $.02. Thanks!! Appreciate that!
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