Should I send a birthday Email to my ex, though we haven't spoken in many months

[DonTomaso]

Hi all... My last girlfriend and I had a really rough and ugly break-up over a year ago. We have not spoken in many months. Today is her birthday and I was thinking about writing her an email that simply says "Happy Birthday."

 

I am in a great new relationship and don't want to ge tback with my ex, but I wonder if she might appreciate a hello on her birthday... do you think I should send it or would it just cause her emotional distress?

[Arabess]

If it means something to you....by all means.....I think you should.

[Tony T]

You have moved on...haven't you??? Sending your ex, who you no longer speak to, a birthday greeting is totally inappropriate. Just forget about her. Her birthday is of no significance whatsoever in your life now and she shouldn't be either. Concentrate on your current relationship!!!

[bethyboo]

Would it be okay for your new gf to email her ex on his birthday? How would you feel if you ever found out she did? It's a nice gesture, however, I think maybe somewhere down the line, it might create some problems. I don't know if it is worth it if there is really isn't anything to gain from it.

[hurtingandconfused]

Nope, do not send.

 

I am in a great new relationship

 

Leave it as that!

[DonTomaso]

Thanks very much...

[CurlyamI]

did you have a good relationship inspite of the ugly break up? was she a good friend to you?

[DonTomaso]

Yes, she was a good friend while we dated, but I really have no idea how the email would be recieved. It could make her happy or it might upset her. I don't know. As much as I want to clear the air between us, I've decided not to send the email simply because I don't want to ruin her day.

[hurtingandconfused]

We have not spoken in many months.

 

When people lose contact especially those who have broken up in the past...It's better to just leave it as that and move on.

 

did you have a good relationship inspite of the ugly break up? was she a good friend to you?

 

Things that happened before the break up should not matter.

[CurlyamI]

I believe you are wrong. I mean if you have a big fight with a friend and you left him in anger, does this make him your friend no longer? Can one fight just erase everything?

 

Break-ups are usually messy, and I did ask if they had a good relationship.

 

I also asked him wheather they have been good friends during their relationship. Showing your appreciation for a person, who was there for you, who meant something for you, the simple fact that you remebered her is a nice gesture. Especially if you feel like going through and actually post a card, e-mail it or whatever.

 

Should she give this another meaning, be spitful and unapreciative - too bad for her, it means she can't recognise the persons that care for her. It's a revenge of its own.

 

But I definetely feel better when friend from the past remember me, no matter if I'm dating or not, used to date them or never went out with them.

[DonTomaso]

You are right Curly.. I sent the email. All I wrote was "Happy Birthday." Hopefully she'll take it at face value... Thanks Curly and every one else for your thoughts.

[UCFKevin]

Good.

 

I say f*ck it. You have nothing to lose and nothing to gain. Why the hell not email her?

 

The only thing is, you ARE with someone now, but eh...if you're truly over your ex, no big deal.