hunnyrose Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Hi all, I went on a date on Thursday night with a guy I met on POF. I felt that the date had gone well, he smiled at me a lot, and looked at me all interested in everything I said. We had a good laugh together, and some intelligent chat too. He insisted on paying for my glass of wine and dinner. I paid for our cups of tea at the end. I just felt really chilled and relaxed around him, even though I felt really shy too (I'm not very confident and think he was pretty shy too). Anyway while walking back to my lift in the car park he said how pretty the town I live near is, and said the church was pretty too. He then said he'd had fun, then out of the blue opened his arms wide and gave me an unexpected hug, so I hugged gently back, only a second or 2. I think he put his mouth near my neck though, dunno what thats about?! Then he said it was lovely meeting me and to book my driving lessons soon. Then he walked off. I've never been hugged on a first date before, just wondered if men hug girls they don't like?! Then anyway Saturday morning he messaged me on pof saying it was nice meeting on Thursday and did I get home ok, and that he had a load of work to do this weekend. Anyway it's Monday night now and I haven't heard from him. When I met him I had a really good feeling, but I'm worried because I haven't heard from him in two days? Do men usually hug you then message a day and a half later if they're not interested? Or is he showing interest and testing the water?
kiss_andmakeup Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Wow. Isn't a hug just a hug? I'm currently dating someone and he hugged me (no kiss) on our first date. We've been on several dates since and things have progressed normally. You're reading way too deep into this. Hug aside, do you like the guy? If yes, then great. Perhaps you should initiate contact with him, since he messaged you last, and perhaps he doesn't want to come off as too needy.
zengirl Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 My current BF and I kissed on the first date, but that was the first one in a long while where I did. My last LTR lasted 8 months, and we didn't even hug on the first date! I wouldn't get too in your head about it.
Art_Critic Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Sounds like he is just shy and maybe a little bit of a goober around the opposite sex... Not every guy you date will be smooth.. I think you need to message him back and ask him out again... Good luck..
Author hunnyrose Posted May 31, 2011 Author Posted May 31, 2011 I did message him back on Saturday night but haven't heard anything back. I know he's probably busy because he's training to be a doctor, so it might just be that. And I do like him, I really enjoyed chatting with him. He asked me lots of questions and we had a lot of laughs
kiss_andmakeup Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I did message him back on Saturday night but haven't heard anything back. I know he's probably busy because he's training to be a doctor, so it might just be that. And I do like him, I really enjoyed chatting with him. He asked me lots of questions and we had a lot of laughs Ah, okay. In your original post you didn't note that you had messaged him back, so I wasn't aware of this. If that's the case then yes, the ball is in his court. But it doesn't mean you should be sitting by the computer screen/phone in apprehension. Do things with friends, participate in hobbies, and even go on dates with other guys if you're comfortable doing that. Don't obsess over your first date "hug" and try to decipher it like some sort of encryption - it's a pointless and maddening exercise.
zengirl Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I did message him back on Saturday night but haven't heard anything back. I know he's probably busy because he's training to be a doctor, so it might just be that. And I do like him, I really enjoyed chatting with him. He asked me lots of questions and we had a lot of laughs Ah, if you messaged him back and he didn't write you yet, that's another kettle of fish. I'd say there are other fish in the sea.
Author hunnyrose Posted May 31, 2011 Author Posted May 31, 2011 Ah, okay. In your original post you didn't note that you had messaged him back, so I wasn't aware of this. If that's the case then yes, the ball is in his court. But it doesn't mean you should be sitting by the computer screen/phone in apprehension. Do things with friends, participate in hobbies, and even go on dates with other guys if you're comfortable doing that. Don't obsess over your first date "hug" and try to decipher it like some sort of encryption - it's a pointless and maddening exercise. Oops think I forgot to mention that. I have been obsessing for a few days, I'll stop tomorrow and get back to normal. I just thought that if a man wasn't interested he wouldn't message after a first date? Other dates I've had have either messaged saying there was no spark or just never contacted me again, even though I knew they wouldn't. With this one I felt a spark and connection though.
kiss_andmakeup Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Oops think I forgot to mention that. I have been obsessing for a few days, I'll stop tomorrow and get back to normal. I just thought that if a man wasn't interested he wouldn't message after a first date? Other dates I've had have either messaged saying there was no spark or just never contacted me again, even though I knew they wouldn't. With this one I felt a spark and connection though. There are a myriad of explanations - he's busy with school/work, he had plans with friends/family (it is a holiday weekend), he is shy about asking you out again, etc. There is also the possibility that he's just not interested, and in that case you shouldn't take it personally. It was just one date, on to the next one.
Author hunnyrose Posted May 31, 2011 Author Posted May 31, 2011 There are a myriad of explanations - he's busy with school/work, he had plans with friends/family (it is a holiday weekend), he is shy about asking you out again, etc. There is also the possibility that he's just not interested, and in that case you shouldn't take it personally. It was just one date, on to the next one. He did mention loads of work for his doctor stuff, but I dunno. Suppose I'll have to be patient and see. He was such a lovely English gent though Thanks for replying
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