NYY5 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I don't know what's wrong with me. I think it's safe to say that most people want to be in a relationship, or at least attracted to the idea of having a companion, or a partner, or whatever you want to call it. And I know there's the whole "men are scared of commitment" thing. But I feel like my issue goes beyond that. Usually, the men who are scared of commitment are still involved with a woman in some way or another, they're usually at least in a relationship. They just fear the next step of the relationship, which is commitment. For me, it's more than just that. I've been single for over 4 years now. I've had sexual encounters with a couple different women during those years, but that was the extent of it, and it never became a relationship or anything more, and I never wanted it to. I just don't get why everybody seems to want to be intimate, and be loved, and share their lives with someone, and have that one special person in their lives. Why don't I want any of that? Why do I feel turned off when I think about all that? It makes me feel like I must be some kind of weirdo or something because I don't want what most human beings want. Does anybody else relate to this?
Eddie Edirol Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 You probably are thinking of intimacy in terms of women that you slept with that you werent really fully attracted to. If they were clingy and you had to get away from them, that will turn you off to relationships as well. When you run into one that you cant truly be into mentally, then you might reconsider. Dont sweat it.
iheartsuki Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 honestly, unless you want to want to be in a relationship, i wouldn't worry about it. i think you should first ask yourself why you are troubled by your lack of want/need to be in a relationship and then address the "issue" from there (if your answer determines that it is an issue for YOU). if the answer is because you are concerned with what other people are thinking of you (this is the impression i'm getting from what you've written), i truly would not worry about it. it doesn't sound like you are hurting anyone with your choice and it sounds as if you are content with your choice and that's truly all that matters.
TigerCub Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I don't know what's wrong with me. I think it's safe to say that most people want to be in a relationship, or at least attracted to the idea of having a companion, or a partner, or whatever you want to call it. And I know there's the whole "men are scared of commitment" thing. But I feel like my issue goes beyond that. Usually, the men who are scared of commitment are still involved with a woman in some way or another, they're usually at least in a relationship. They just fear the next step of the relationship, which is commitment. For me, it's more than just that. I've been single for over 4 years now. I've had sexual encounters with a couple different women during those years, but that was the extent of it, and it never became a relationship or anything more, and I never wanted it to. I just don't get why everybody seems to want to be intimate, and be loved, and share their lives with someone, and have that one special person in their lives. Why don't I want any of that? Why do I feel turned off when I think about all that? It makes me feel like I must be some kind of weirdo or something because I don't want what most human beings want. Does anybody else relate to this? how was the relationship you had 4 years ago? Maybe the dynamic of it or the way it ended has turned you off relationships for a while - that's totally normal. I went through a phase similar to yours, I'd date and have my fun and whatever, but I didn't want a boyfriend and a real commitment for a loooooooong time - I'm taking a 3-4 years. is it possible its the same thing for you?
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