WTRanger Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 BPD isn't "BS." It's true that a lot of people are quick to throw that label on their exes to avoid the ego hit of having to face the reality that their exes don't want to be with them anymore...and none of us are qualified to diagnose our exes as having BPD unless we're trained mental health professionals. But it IS a real thing. It's in the DSM, that's good enough for me: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml It's probably a good thing though as WTRanger says to not focus on your ex and their issues. Now is the time to take a good long look at yourself and see what you did to contribute to the demise of the relationship. You're responsible for 100 percent of your 50 percent of the relationship. Take your relationship as a learning experience. It may very well be the case that your ex had "issues." If that's the case, take note of what red flags you overlooked to be with them. Take stock of what you did wrong and the mistakes you made, because nobody is perfect and it's not 100 percent someone's fault when a relationship ends. Ultimately you have to turn the focus to yourself, what you want to do differently in your next relationship, what you want differently from your next partner, etc. I know BPD isn't BS in real life. On LS, it is since less than 1% of people on here are qualified to make an accurate diagnosis, other than reading about it online and drawing delusional conclusions. Here's on you make it simple. You broke up, the relationship is over. Leave it at that. That's all the explanation you need. Don't tie any thing else to it. Deal with the break up itself. Not the ex, not the ex's words, not the ex's actions, not the ex at all. Deal with YOU and you alone. It's not complicated, nor is it confusing. You are making it confusing by trying to decode every shred of her words, actions, and her mind. When you realize that doing so is impossible, you'll see how overly complicated you, and not her, have made this.
Author sinnister Posted May 31, 2011 Author Posted May 31, 2011 (edited) I know BPD isn't BS in real life. On LS, it is since less than 1% of people on here are qualified to make an accurate diagnosis, other than reading about it online and drawing delusional conclusions. Here's on you make it simple. You broke up, the relationship is over. Leave it at that. That's all the explanation you need. Don't tie any thing else to it. Deal with the break up itself. Not the ex, not the ex's words, not the ex's actions, not the ex at all. Deal with YOU and you alone. It's not complicated, nor is it confusing. You are making it confusing by trying to decode every shred of her words, actions, and her mind. When you realize that doing so is impossible, you'll see how overly complicated you, and not her, have made this. No offense as I like your straightforwardness, but that's just too simplistic and speaking from higher ground than anyone is qualified to speak from. If that's the case, why would ANYONE be on a forum..much less give advice from it? This implies that you've been here and couldn't do the same thing as cleanly as others. Relationships imply intention/investments/actions/consequences. No matter how much we look like the loser for assessing these things...time=money. I could've been doing anything in the world than spending it on this person. I invested in this person..and yes I am continuing that wasteful investment now by not being simple...n letting her bankrupt me...but...it is how sometimes that time must be allocated. It's insane as well to never seek to learn from an experience...it's just how/what you're learning. Again, I was with this person long enough to know what she said/done...and it fits 9 of the 10 DSM-IV's qualifications for BPD. I was swayed a little yesterday with the GIGS argument..b/c impulsivity and a lot of things are also a product of youth...but she's been through that..and although she could want FREEDOM..she doesn't/never did want TO QUIT EVERYTHING TO RUN TO ANOTHER GUY! It was not what she had said..but something has totally changed in her...and it started by what was done there..even as it seems innocent to everyone else. Edited May 31, 2011 by sinnister
GreenPolicy Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 sinnister, your ex might have BPD, she might not. What I have found is that it's not so important to find the perfect label to put on your ex. Sometimes relationships end and there is a perfectly good and logical reason for it to end, and we are able to move on quicker even though we feel hurt because there is some logic to what is unfolding and we can understand our and our exes' role in the demise of the partnership. And then sometimes it ends and you are sitting there grasping for answers. Read my story if you click on my name, I'm in a similar boat. My most recent ex wasn't the first girl to dump me or treat me like crap in ending things. But I have had a hard time moving on because I could not understand how we so quickly got from Point A ("You're the best man I've ever had, I want to marry you and I love you so much!") to Point Z ("I want you out of my life!") with so little in between. I never saw Points B through Y. And I eventually realized that I'm never going to have those answers, it's never going to make sense, and the only recourse I have is to follow the advice of people like WTRanger and get on with my life and focus on myself. What other option do I have? My ex isn't really giving me other options. I have spun those mental gears over and over again in my head and come no closer to "understanding" the breakup than I did at the beginning. Unless she pops up again and explains herself better, I will always have to accept that the relationship ended without what we might call "closure" or "finality." I could spend the rest of my life trying to "figure out" the breakup and her and I won't make any more progress than I already have. The thing is, you will never be able to know for 100 percent certain she has BPD unless she contacts you to tell you she was diagnosed with it. What I can tell you is that when somebody dumps you out of the blue or is extremely heartless and cruel about how they broke up with you, then ignore your heart and listen to your brain. That person is not good for you and you were lucky to get out of it. Especially if you observed what we might call "red flag" type of behaviors. Take some time to grieve but the focus needs to be on protecting and loving yourself, not figuring out your ex.
Author sinnister Posted May 31, 2011 Author Posted May 31, 2011 Everything had be quiet for a while..I was really getting over. But again, I do believe that me and my ex have some sort of psychic connection. Even as last year she was telling me she was too broke to go back to Lebanon for Christmas..and had a lot a proof.....it randomly dawned on me at some point while she was freezing me out, that it was a lie. I tried to get her to answer it as she stood me up from meeting me then didn't answer her phone as it drove me call mad spending so much on a promise...talking to her again while there...seeing the battle/excuses w/in herself..then she could do all of this to me still. So I threatened to call her family and tell them I was here and wanted to meet...they seemed scared but supportive about the r/s ( I contacted all I could after she cheated..cause I was scared for her safety as she was making rash moves alone in the Mid East..after a lot of work and killing her so-called fiance ((not matter how much a sham it all seems now)) just to get the answer of whether she was going back to that place..had made plans. She called the police instead of answering. She did, n they hit it off. Very expensive game, and she knew it..against her character. I remember more positive premonitions...but I'm still connected to her in some way to know that when I get really anxious..something's up. Not like little fickle kiddy stuff..but big...one let me to find out if he was cheating on her...when I was giving up...found he was attempting and admitted it..she didn't care -prob made them closer (trust me, don't have to tell me why). But when I came here..it wasn't to drop...this bomb in my life here...just learn..give props..debate..leave n come back. Thanks again for your input and sorry. It has been eyeopening.
Author sinnister Posted May 31, 2011 Author Posted May 31, 2011 sinnister, your ex might have BPD, she might not. What I have found is that it's not so important to find the perfect label to put on your ex. Sometimes relationships end and there is a perfectly good and logical reason for it to end, and we are able to move on quicker even though we feel hurt because there is some logic to what is unfolding and we can understand our and our exes' role in the demise of the partnership. And then sometimes it ends and you are sitting there grasping for answers. Read my story if you click on my name, I'm in a similar boat. My most recent ex wasn't the first girl to dump me or treat me like crap in ending things. But I have had a hard time moving on because I could not understand how we so quickly got from Point A ("You're the best man I've ever had, I want to marry you and I love you so much!") to Point Z ("I want you out of my life!") with so little in between. I never saw Points B through Y. And I eventually realized that I'm never going to have those answers, it's never going to make sense, and the only recourse I have is to follow the advice of people like WTRanger and get on with my life and focus on myself. What other option do I have? My ex isn't really giving me other options. I have spun those mental gears over and over again in my head and come no closer to "understanding" the breakup than I did at the beginning. Unless she pops up again and explains herself better, I will always have to accept that the relationship ended without what we might call "closure" or "finality." I could spend the rest of my life trying to "figure out" the breakup and her and I won't make any more progress than I already have. The thing is, you will never be able to know for 100 percent certain she has BPD unless she contacts you to tell you she was diagnosed with it. What I can tell you is that when somebody dumps you out of the blue or is extremely heartless and cruel about how they broke up with you, then ignore your heart and listen to your brain. That person is not good for you and you were lucky to get out of it. Especially if you observed what we might call "red flag" type of behaviors. Take some time to grieve but the focus needs to be on protecting and loving yourself, not figuring out your ex. Easier said than done..and I respect that opinion/approach..but she is continuing to show INSANE behavior. She knew everything I had at stake...money and saving money was so important as we moved forward n the LTR...then she lets me waste THOUSANDS to not even meet me for 15 minutes. MY heart has stopped a while back..or at least hasn't been driving..or I'd still be crying. But I know something wrong with her...I don't hate her enough or at all to not care. This is not something she ever was...she had red flags..but there was sh-t she cared about. Her recent actions dont match her words..but they used to...I think she's in the midst of a very long trigger..BPD phase if you will..that is allowing her to continue to make rash decisions and rationalize on the fly. This destroyed my finances, my vacation..my self-respect, community respect and respect for her and our r/s that was a lot better than it ended. She would NEVER allow that to happen to me...and I know that.
GreenPolicy Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Easier said than done..and I respect that opinion/approach..but she is continuing to show INSANE behavior. She knew everything I had at stake...money and saving money was so important as we moved forward n the LTR...then she lets me waste THOUSANDS to not even meet me for 15 minutes. MY heart has stopped a while back..or at least hasn't been driving..or I'd still be crying. But I know something wrong with her...I don't hate her enough or at all to not care. This is not something she ever was...she had red flags..but there was sh-t she cared about. Her recent actions dont match her words..but they used to...I think she's in the midst of a very long trigger..BPD phase if you will..that is allowing her to continue to make rash decisions and rationalize on the fly. This destroyed my finances, my vacation..my self-respect, community respect and respect for her and our r/s that was a lot better than it ended. She would NEVER allow that to happen to me...and I know that. If she is as you say she is, then aren't you better off without her? As much as it hurts to lose her and you remember the good times?
Author sinnister Posted May 31, 2011 Author Posted May 31, 2011 (edited) If she is as you say she is, then aren't you better off without her? As much as it hurts to lose her and you remember the good times? Of course...better off leaving it when there seems to be more self-respect, respect for me involved. Not destroying a person and making the whole world see that I'd wasted my time on an obvious loser..which she felt she was and I spent so much of myself proving otherwise. I can't...I just can't...it kills me. I've seen girls like her b/f..and they were always ugly and desperate and NOBODY really respected them. She was better...she's just running from so much..and I'd wish she'd stop. It's killing me...I know...I know I look bad that it still hurts..but look away as I vent..I can't believe she'd worm her way into me that deep..then pull this bs--t to such an embarrassing level. I was the "most respected" she said afterwards..but lets another scene..another man control how she interacts/respects me after the fact. I could NEVER do this to a person. r And I'll look like the loser for admitting it...since I didn't protect myself and let us create this huge investment to be bankrupt'd...that old sinn is dead...and that's the only one i had. I kept him safe...I don't believe she tricked me...but I can't suffer such a fool being that close. She stole it all...as the STP song "Sour Girl" goes..she was happy on the day that she left from me. I made her happy enough to make that kind of move....n not just the breakup..she's shown NO appreciation/respect for it other than early words. This too isn't who she was. Edited May 31, 2011 by sinnister
Fedor Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 We all know it hurts and I dont think anyone should judge you for expressing your feelings. You know, I was talking to my manager at work today. We sort of had a heart to heart and shes in her mid to late 20's. She told me straight up that she thinks my ex is probably has her eye on another guy but is not sure on what to do. Either dump the safety net or test drive something new! I still cant bring myself to believe it but I'm trying to walk away and not look back . Maybe in your case somebody planted a seed in her that was inevitable to prevent. Some dude sunk his teeth in and maybe you just never had a chance.
Author sinnister Posted May 31, 2011 Author Posted May 31, 2011 (edited) We all know it hurts and I dont think anyone should judge you for expressing your feelings. You know, I was talking to my manager at work today. We sort of had a heart to heart and shes in her mid to late 20's. She told me straight up that she thinks my ex is probably has her eye on another guy but is not sure on what to do. Either dump the safety net or test drive something new! I still cant bring myself to believe it but I'm trying to walk away and not look back . Maybe in your case somebody planted a seed in her that was inevitable to prevent. Some dude sunk his teeth in and maybe you just never had a chance. That's probably exactly what happened. She told our simple to him from the beginning she told me...but not about me personally she claims..although I foundv out from him that was a lie...she's painted me as someone that took advantage of her when she was weakest and had no friends..which is both sad and both lies...simply telling me she said initially "she wasnt happy". He told her not to meet me in the UK, that I was dangerous..this person that has been with me for so long...that I brought BACK to her friends..by being empathetic with all involved and she understood some things she didn't then. She loved me for that then..as most guys try to isolate them from their loved if they were going to take advantage..as he did. Anyway, I was wondering why so many of her friends of friends were looking at my profile all of a sudden...thinking it was simply b/c she had be talking about me..but I had stopped communicating with her long ago and told her I respect her course and to get happy. I thought she saw my clarity as I meant it..but she had to know the damage too before I disappeared. Now I know/think they made it official and they were coming to see when/if I'd vent over it like I did in the initial breakup as some voyeuristic kick, thinking I had some access to her acct or friends, that I didn't. There's only a couple with their wall set to public and she talked about it on one early today..when I found out..cause they wanted to have a last get together after exams. She claims to be leaving day of..but negotiating when she's leaving..so I think she's trying to change the flight date...so impulsive, she wants to be with him ASAP. It's sick..but I'm not the only one I've seen had someone do this..just not to the extreme I did beforehand...I am looking to keep improving and move on..but there's just like a soulswirl in me right now. How could I have been so stupid. She asked and I gave all. Her dad had just lost his job...fam was going through some things last fall b/c of it....she is blowing a lot of cash over a child's dream..which it seemed she had with me too...I just actually worked for it. We'll see if it's so beautiful when they're locked into each other...I'm damaged goods right now..but I'll dust off and date again. It's been a painful/long transition. and sorry I put so much burden on you lot..thanks for listening. I couldn't tell this anywhere else and I'm tired of giving people the satisfaction of my failure/pain. Edited May 31, 2011 by sinnister
Author sinnister Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 OMG, I'm so pathetic I'm already an "established member" in a week (maybe less). I had a lot of fun and I definitely need a break. But last question..bad breakup as you see..primarily her fault for being such a coward and hiding bhind another dude for christsakes. She's gone NC...and I've now respected that..what does anyone whose read it think the time period could be for her to contact me again? I know it's pathetic..but this is just the one that drives me insane lol. Her friends obviously check up on my profile when they can..so I don't get any of this and never have.
Author sinnister Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 Not from the guy that argued heatedly with everyone that opposed him..probably to the point he was banned a couple times n needed new handles..which is why he's stickied to a thread that's older than his handle..lol. I totally agree with Alstott Fan..........These "people" for want of a better word are immature borderline scum. People are not disposable items, they are flesh and blood and have emotions and feelings. These "people" that have GIG's wreak havoc and destroy peoples lives, all because they cannot deal with the reality of being in a mature relationship. I respect Maydays post immensely as most of the observations are quite valid from what I have observed (having lived it and read thousands of articles and similar stories), however, the tone of it is morally repulsive. It pretty much equates GIG syndrome to some kind of natural emotional development some people go through and grow out of (true if your 8 years old and met a new boy/girl at your school). However over the age of 8 years old its completely unacceptable. In fact it could not be further from the truth. The psychopathology of the person with GIG is quite stark and there is massive overlap and co-morbidity with cluster-B personality disorders (GIG is a pure search for narcissistic supply). The person who has GIG is emotionally liable and their emotions shift quite dramatically at the turn of a switch. They soon realize that they made a wrong decision and depending on the flavor of their psychosis (BPD or NPD) come crawling back when the new "replacement you" fails to live up to their high unachievable expectations. This is where borderlines 'magical thinking' and splitting is at its finest. People must realize that the person who has GIG is NOT capable of maintaining a stable relationship. Their inability to see and live in the gray areas of normal relationship life causes them to have wildly distorted views and expectations that can NEVER be met by any man or woman, hence their cronic unhappiness. The person who has GIG typically devalues the relationship they are exiting and will paint their recent ex as a monster or fabricate some problems within the relationship in order to live with the shame of open emotional or physical infidelity, this tends to feed their psychosis that "things were not working" when the very reason things "were not working" was because of emotional or physical infidelity on their part. Usually you will hear some whopper excuses or arguments that happened years previous to the breakup, this also feeds their psychosis. Its worth mentioning that this is NOT a breakup as its total ABANDONMENT. A breakup suggests that the dumpee has some say in the events, being left for GIG is total abandonment and a devastatingly cruel way to treat someone you supposedly loved! A normal mentally balanced person can accept the conflicting moods within a relationship, provided there was no abuse within the relationship. The unhealthy mind holds onto resentment in the fear of being abandoned and thus reacts first through infidelity and abandons the relationship before they can be abandoned. This shows that they have unacceptably high expectations and psychologically if they think they aren't meeting these high expectations them you will leave them, so they will act first. In the grand spectrum of relationship dynamics where both partners are mentally healthy and no abuse is visible, neither one is capable of "Falling out of love" as both have matured together and have shared experiences, even differences of political opinion and life goals and to a degree lack of sex will not come between these individuals as their mature approach to life tends to make them communicate and resolve any differences. The unhealthy immature mind however, perceives differences of opinions, life goals, lack of sex, arguments and whatever else they can project as validation that things "aren't right" or there is "someone better". The next line one typically hears is "I love you but not in love with you" (this is the hallmark of borderline pathology) and displays beautifully the splitting black or white perceptions they have as they cannot interpret what love is since its so fleeting to them with their lack of object consistency. Well I have a news flash for all you people who have GIS, man (and woman) was created equal. Leaving one partner for another is crazy. There is only so much novelty bigger boobs or A bigger manhood, more money or whatever attracts you to the new person can provide. After the honeymoon of enjoying such your back at square one, unhappy again and more GIG (i.e. return to old ex.....if they will have you). What have you got to show for it?........A string of shattered lives, unfulfilled dreams, financial ruin, lost friendships, heartache and despair for the person you supposedly once loved!........ Doomed to continue to repeat the same behaviors and expect a different outcome, that is true craziness. Whats more worrying though is the people committing to NC with these people in an effort to re-establish a relationship, they need to seriously look at what made them so weak mentally to fall for someone who is so emotionally immature! Also its quite disturbing on how many emotionally immature people are on these boards........I seen another thread there that had the name " I dumped him as a Christmas present LOL" I was near sick reading the title as it has Cluster-B written all over it!. It shows that there are people who have no capacity for logical thinking and devalue people so cruelly. But karma will get her in the end ! Mentally unhealthy people don't fall out of love.............they fall out of reality ! Sounds exactly like my situation. Judge me as u will, lol.
Author sinnister Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 (edited) Your Ex (and mind) has no clue who they are or what they want. (a.k.a. G.I.G.S.) That is what they are learning / discovering now... Me personally, I am going to date women that are older than 23, who have more life experience, know what they want and who have been in love and lost it before. Our Exes will figure it out... most likely the hard way... but life is all about choices.Mentally stable people don't inttentionally try to give you a criminal record (that you love to bring up) and bankrupt you out of fear/panic. There's respect in breakups no matter how bad. Now, you can continue to use how my situation went down to win in every ****ing debate we ever have again..or you can be an actual man about all of this. End of r/s is relative...or else why ****ing waste your time with people. Again, most people today r borne to parents that are needy and have no class...so that's all they expect. When they're dating/friends/co-workers of people that do and try, they lead with their insecurities and try to make everything about them...their flaws...then act like they'll never live up to your expectations...even when you don't have any. You can make any man/woman a monster/ loser after the fact...all of this is covering COWARDS...this world is now filled with fing cowards...we call them "realists". People need to learn that there's consequences from CHOICES..you can't keep leaving a person holding your ****bags from your failed promises/scattered choices/actions. HB acts as though dating over 23 will help..ONLY b/c he knows mine is younger....see what I mean..a coward covering one just to be right. This story hits people of EVERY fing age...cause there's no social penalties...we like to see people fail and in pain. We r the real losers and the real cowards...our groupthink and fear of offending any group that accepts us stagnates us....and we accept it. I'd rather lead with the heart instead of come calculation. I'd rather put my best foot in the water...if it's burned..I'll know where to step..but at least I'm prepared to run if the field/track/life is ready. I do the same for my morals/principles...even if people say that because I live mine to a certain level..they'll "fail" me or I'll look down on them..when I've never have. Edited June 2, 2011 by sinnister
Author sinnister Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 I am talking about what led up to and her choice for the break up itself... was G.I.G.S. Whatever happened after she made her decision (not the one you got but the real one within herself) to break up... Everything after that is a factor of her immaturity and the influence of the new guy, her new "good time" friends, her parents, etc. all the while you were pursuing her which intensifed things. Like you... I once made the mistake of pursuing in a case similar to yours. She was saying one thing... doing another. Her actions were not consistent, friends and family were a heavy influence and new guy too. It got ugly too.... I have heard from that Ex after several years and she apologized and blamed it on what I more or less say above. She was being stupid and immature... I added pressure to an already tense situation with the new guy... I was the victim. This Ex has gone on to marry a really wonderful guy and they have 2 kids together. She figured it all out... Most likely, our current Exes will too. Sinnister... Don't make your situation more than it is. It really is simple, You know she is being an idiot... she is under the influence of the new guy and the new "good time" friends. Otherwise, she wouldn't have stopped going to school, given up on her dreams, goals and passions. You know the REAL person... the person you are seeing now is a fraud, someone who is lost and looking for answers. All the crap after the break up... was just two immature kids making mistakes. You learned from it and she will too. Believe me, You will hear from her one day. I promise you, she will apologize and take the blame! Fear not... You were following your heart, going with the information she was giving you (not being honest with you or herself). It's happens... I am prove! Now you're acting like a man again.. Stop the tough guy/I'm perfect **** and feel the people you're counselling. Plus, just b/c one responds/responded one way doesn't mean they all will. You can't just ONE response/size fits all or the person is/will be looked at as a loser/psycho/stalker. There is no one way...some girls actually make you jealous TO FIGHT FOR THEM..some don't use guys for the same effect. You have to be wiser..or be fearful..but again, it's your counsel..say what you want..but don't ever ****ing get as personal as you did outside my thread for disagreeing with you. As you said earlier, I know and learned from my mistakes...
Author sinnister Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 (edited) Hahahahaha! Don't get ahead of yourself... Once you knew that she wanted to break up and you knew the other man was involved... Had you ignored what she was "telling" you and looked at her actions (some of my principles)... things would not have never escalated to the place they did. How do you think I got my principles that I now live by? Personal Experience (like what you just went through) and seeing my friends and family get the same results I did. Once your Ex is under the influence of the new friends and the dude... It's OVER! Why? 1. It's 1 against 10 or more. 2. Your confidence and "mojo" are damaged so you are playing with a hand tied behind your back. 3. Since we become pussyboy without number 2... They know the pussyboy playbook and can easily counter our every move. 4. We try to make the new friends and guy look like the bad people... it backfires and we look crazy. 5. We try and tighten our grip... Drives Ex further away. 6. We are needy, pushy, emotional, semi-unstable, etc. 7. Etc. I learned that the hard way... as just did you. Again, you don't listen and want to feel "better/superior" too much. I was "ahead" of myself b/c I learned from a unique situation. I was in an about to be vested LDR (although it was moving too fast I'd admit now...but the days r long). She was jealous and scared I'd leave her nearly 97 percent of the time for various flaws...I was having no sex..and I was very emotionally invested. I see her in this crisis...and instead of feeling like I was having her back against her bosses...now 8000 miles away--she brakes and just does a lot of **** drunk that she NEVER had considered otherwise, and you all expect me to just WALK off and say have a nice life when she was Skyping in my house...every day and night for at least a year and in my life fully for 15 months, with 4 months away from finally seeing her/conquering her in person. No woman on the planet would lose that sense of sentimentality at least...they don't think a man can do that...and once I was able to..I was portrayed as the loser ANYWAY.... I could've had ANYONE..and I get throughly embarrassed to/by my friends/family, hers as well and as you like to bring up various law enforcement cause I did get mad but not violently threatening...just to get more people to talk more sense into the investment this b--ch had made me make---just meet a mfker and move on--validate my spending/vacation with that tiny tinket--i had not threatened her AT ALL EVER with any violence before/during/after...it was just her perceived pressure, and since no one's actually lived that, and you can put my faith and love in the "internet loser" box..I'm cannon fodder for every weak sack of **** that can get a bar floozy...which I had to brush off like flies...7's and 8's cause I kept my body right cept for one spell. Come on man..I'm trying to be nice and keep it short. Don't keep trying to label me as something..when you could never be who I was.... You're still right on why I failed..but you lot expect people to just know BEFORE they get in that..even w/out knowing the backdrop...you are too linked to the PC. This isn't a simulation..it's life. Edited June 2, 2011 by sinnister
Fedor Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 The issue here communicaton? I think in both our cases that NC is needed. Like homebrew said, they have issues that they need to solve on there own. We are not there parents. We cant tell them how to live there life when there not with us even though I want to! We shouldnt have to convince them to be with us. They need to want to be with us. I'm sorry, but I'm done trying to convince her to love or be with me. It's her decision now and I respect it as much as it burns. I tried, I lost and now I'm here. They will come around eventually.
Author sinnister Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 For not just letting the love die or feeling good about my memories of a person outside another's supposed timetable. I will not be labelled..esp by people that don't allow labels on anyone outside of the dumpee. Just clarification. Also, I am in NC...we have no active communication lines and i haven't tried to send her anything in over a month.
Recommended Posts