He's Holding a Grudge

[Freesia120]

I met this guy early this year and after a few dates he asked me out.I told him that I was considering relocation because since I got laid off over a year ago I hadn't been able to bounce back.I was in between jobs and kept moving house.He asked for a chance and said I would never know until I tried it out to cut a long story short we started dating.

 

Everything has been going great until about a month ago when he started keeping his distance wouldn't call me if I didn't call and the texts would be brief,we used to chat so much on Blackberry messenger all of a sudden that seemed to fade.

 

After a few days I called him and asked him what was going on he said he is quite stressed with work, his parents,siblings and he feels like he hasn't accomplished much in life (He is 34)

 

We had a long talk and he wouldn't really let me in on what was really bothering him,He said it's not something he likes talking about with people.I asked the general questions like if he had any terminal illnesses,if he was in trouble with the Law or the IRS any Ex wives,kids to support,he answered no to all)

 

Next thing I know he's apologizing to me and says he feels bad about dragging me into his life and I really deserve better!! I told him that was my decision to make,he went on to say I should expect a lot more of his moodiness as well as going into some kind of depression mode.

 

After our lengthy discussion he made an effort of calling and then just like that he stopped,he started getting very sensitive about anything I said.He works long hours we only saw each other three times a week despite living very close to each other.

 

I asked to see him at his house and he wouldn't really tell me what was going on with him.We got into an argument over something very petty and I stormed off.He is the kind of person who gets angry very quickly and also stays that way for sometime.

 

After not hearing from him for over a week I decided to put all this behind me and ended it via text.

He got back to me said he was sorry for putting me through all that, He said he understands and he is used to ladies walking out on him when he says he has some issues he's dealing with (only God knows what they are bc he won't say)

 

That made my blood boil bc that wasn't the reason why I ended it.I send a very mean text to him while really angry.I basically questioned if he really wanted a r/ship in the first place

 

After three days I looked at the text and regretted ever sending something so mean to him.I found myself apologizing to him via text...It has been over a week and a half and I haven't heard from him.

 

I called him and he said I haven't acted like a lady and I was quite rude and my words were worse his actions.I asked him why he played with my emotions like he did and he said he didn't know.

He started sounding impatient and wanted to get off the phone.I mentioned I was relocating and he didn't really bother asking when I was going all he could say was he wishes me the best.

 

I text him yesterday to ask about some stuff we were both working on and he was just brash..Despite what he has done to me I don't know why I feel the need to say goodbye to him or even text him to say I would like us to meet and just see him I dislike nasty break ups and prefer if people went their separate ways without any bad blood

[Hopeless_1116]

My ex also went "quiet" on me, just right before starting to blow hot/cold and finally going into a full blown depression. It's the hardest thing to try to understand because we're not in that mind frame. I do know that much time can be wasted on analyzing and then over analyzing some more about potential reasons/causes for his distant behaviour, but the truth is it's their problem - not ours! The depression/issues might be a cop out or they may be very real. Only our ex knows the truth. Either way, the relationship doesn't seem to be a priority. In my case, my ex kept saying he wanted to be with me, but his actions said otherwise. I got fed up and walked and have always regretted that decision. I love him very much, and wish I had coped better. The only thing I can say is give him his space. My ex kept asking for space and I kept pushing for answers. Finally, I gave up and went NC after he said he wasn't ready to see me after a month. I wish I had been more patient and understanding. If you love this man, give him some breathing room. I waited 2 months before contacting my ex again. Haven't gotten a response and not sure I will, but at least I have peace of mind knowing I did all I could do.

[Freesia120]

@Hopeless_1116: I totally agree with you on that one it could be the real deal or a cop out.Sometimes it's amazing what people will do when they want out.I'm relocating to the other end of the country in a few days and I send him a text to say I was moving and if it would be okay to see him I haven't heard anything at all.

I can't believe he has shifted the blame on me completely.It looks like I'm the only one at fault.He wouldn't even admit he was wrong for a minute.

I have no regrets for contacting him because all I wanted to do was say goodbye but I guess he's either not good at goodbyes or isn't ready to see me yet despite saying he would like us to be friends...I guess it changed when I send him the rude text when he blamed me for leaving him due to some issues he had.

He has all the space he needs now I didn't think seeing each other three times a week was too much for people who are in a new relationship