Jealous or Shocked?

[bdubs]

Me and my girlfriend of a little over a year broke up in February. Tried no contact but we still emailed and talked for a few weeks which did nothing but make things worse. By March things got ugly. I acted desperate and needy and did all the wrong things. I wastn myself and nothing i did was rational. I was heart broken. We broke up because we started fighting the last month of our relationship. Between school, work, the holidays, her divorce finalized, money, i guess I was stuck in a rut an d pattern of thinking. Things happened during our relationship that made me lose some trust in her. She would always break up with me instead of coping and dealing with a problem. A while back she was texting other guys and I found out about it and we broke up for a week or so. I was heart broken because I knew the content of the texts and who they were to. Anyways after that we made up and things were good for a while. However, i became someone who I didnt want to become with her. I was waiting for the next fall. I found myself snooping and doing things that I look back at now and disgust me. She did everything she could to regain the trust and make up to me but still I was always looking. It got to the point where I would find something and make a deal out of it and start a fight. At the time I didnt even realize how stupid it was and my behavior was not of my breed. I became really insecure. Anyways she broke up with me just for that reason. Everything else in our relationship was amazing.

 

Since then, she is now back with her ex boyfriend who she cheated on over a year ago. They dated a few months and she cheated on him, broke up and started dating me. This guy has nothing to offer her and in my opinion desperate. Not saying im perfect but I have a good family that was very supportive of her and her daughter and her situatiion. We went through so much together. I jsut finished school and am building my foundation. This guy lives at home, has accomplisehed nothing the last year and still hasnt declared his major. Anyways, im jsut a little confused.

 

She told me when she broke up that she needsto be with someone who not only trusts her, trusts and believes what we share together. I thought about what she said to me. Did I not trust and believe what we had until she broke that belief? Maybe thats why it hurt so bad because I did think that and feel that? Also, during some arguments we had prior. She told me she needs to "get the show on the road" your still in school, live at home, and basically a lot of other things to attack me and make me feel not good enough.

 

I just find myself laughing. I dont know if that guy is a rebound or what. She cheated on him with his best friend. Everyone knows what happened. And a year later after we broke up hes running bck with her. Is he really going to have trust and faith in her? Or has enough time passed for him to forgive her. I dont know. I jsut dont see how that could work out. He looks like a fool getting back with her. Since the break up I have done so much to move forward and better myself and get thigns done. I still love her very much but the fact that shes already got another dude is a little sickening. I dont know if shes filing the void. Breaking up in Feb and by the 3rd week of arpil they were hooking up. Is she over me that quickly? Its just hard to understand. Yea we had a stupid ugly breakup but apparently shes moved on. I dont know what to make of it all. Maybe some of you could give me some words of wisdom.

 

I am thinking about writing her a letter since its been a couple months and ive cleared my head. Not with the intentions of getting her back but to get some thigns of my chest and find peace within myself. I wouldnt expect a response but I guess I feel in my heart that in time she will realize what we shared and had and will eventually call me. Maybe not but there must be a reason why I still wish to reconcile with her.

[Fedor]

I say get those things off your chest and let her know her actions are hurtful to you. I think it will make you feel better and will offer you some relief. To be honest though, after getting things off your chest and saying your peace, you should probably move on like she has. Dont wait around for her because she obviously moved right along in a hurry.