imstuckinatree3 Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 A quick backstory. My sister has worked with this girl for about a year. They work a retail job and usually works until 9 or 10 at night. I pass her store on the way home, and several times a week I bring her dinner. So every time I bring her dinner, she goes into the back to eat, and I stay and talk with the girl for a little while (theres never anyone in the store, I have no idea how they are still in business). Over time I began to take a liking her. We both have the same sense of humor and our personalities mesh together very well. I never made a move because I did not want to make it akward for my sister at work, and later on I found out that she also had a boyfriend. Anyways, about 2 months ago I found out that she had broken up with her boyfriend. Then about a month after that she ask my sister how she would feel about the two of us dating. My sister knew about my attraction towards her and said that I would probably go for it. She then told my sister to give me her number. I made the initial contact about a month ago and have talked to her every day since. We actually began dating almost 3 weeks ago. Things have been moving fast (though to my liking and from what I can tell, also hers). We have gone out 7 times, and already have another date planned for tomorrow and then we are going to a theme park on sunday. She knows my family (works with my sister and my parents frequent the store), and I have met hers. She even has agreed to plans for a day trip with my family almost a month away. We have yet to get physcial. However, several days ago I took her sailing then had a picnic on the dock then just lay their holding eachother for a while, then had arguably the best make out session of my life. We do kiss and make out at somepoint every time we see eachother. So here's the thing. Even with as much as we talk, we have never really talked about "us". Its constantly in the back of my head that I'm going to mess this up by moving too fast, but she seems to like everything thats been happening. The only thing that has been said was I told her "I really hope we actually go somewhere in all this, I've taken quite a liking to you", and she responded, "don't worry, it will". Thats pretty much the extent of it. My question is, is it too early to ask her to be my girlfriend? Exclusivity was implied from the begining, so we both know the other is not dating anyone else. Like I said, I really don't want to move too fast and scare her away, seeing as we have only been dating for about 3 weeks. But at the same time, we have known eachother for a year, and are making future plans, and neither one of us can seem to get enough of eachother. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
sydneysider1978 Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 It doesn't sound like anything is wrong at all, in fact it sounds lovely. Try to relax and enjoy! Do you know what exactly it is you want or what it is that's bothering you? Just that it seems too good to be true? How old are you both, by the way? I wouldn't consider myself someone's girlfriend until we had become physical, but that would depend on age. After a couple of weeks, I think deciding on exclusivity is great but try not to live in each others pockets. Don't stop seeing friends, spending time on your hobbies.
Author imstuckinatree3 Posted May 30, 2011 Author Posted May 30, 2011 I'm 23 and she is 20. My question if it was too soon to ask her to by my gf. Normally I would say it was too fast. But seeing as we have known eachother for a good while and things have been going very well, I think it would be ok in this situation. But really, I have no idea either way, haha.
zengirl Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 It totally depends on the girl. A man has never scared me away by asking for exclusivity too early (I suppose if he were a near-stranger he would), I'll say, whereas I've dumped a fellow for waiting too long. And, even at 26, I've yet to have sex before exclusivity (though exclusivity before a kiss would be odd). The Talk is usually a series of several smaller talks, in my opinion, where both parties feel out the other's intentions. I would say make your intentions clear: You're looking for a relationship if things work out, etc, you really like her, etc, but don't go into some big speech or anything. And see if she seems to feel the same.
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