Ex emails after 2 years NC

[Ingenue]

I received an email from my ex this morning after having absolutely no contact with him for over 2 years. We had dated for 5+ years before I was unceremoniously dumped by email, and I suspect cheated on. He's never sincerely apologized for what he's done. I've essentially cut him and everything about him out of my life.

 

The email was short and pleasant, wishing me well on a recent success. We have no mutual friends in common. I do not belong to any social networking sites, so I am unclear as to how he found out about the recent success, other than by searching on the internet.

 

I am curious as to what my obligations are. Do I respond to this email with a "thank you" and leave it at that? Do I ignore the email? is this a fishing expedition because he's on the rebound and thinks that predictable Ingenue will always be there?

 

I am currently and very happily involved in a relationship with another man. I have no desire to get back with this ex. We are not, nor do I imagine, ever will be friends. But, I almost feel as if I have to respond to the email out of courtesy, even if the email is simply two words, "thank you".

 

Any advice as to what I should do? I've disclosed this all to the current man I'm dating and he's of the opinion that I should ignore him.

Edited May 30, 2011 by Ingenue

[Kodo]

Seems you're pretty indifferent to the whole thing. A polite "thank you" at most. If a stranger congratulated you, you'd say the same. No harm doing so here.

 

If the partner prefers you don't speak to the ex and you concur, then leave it at that. You have no obligation to this person what so ever. As for him, why even bother trying to talk now? Suddenly he wants to share the positive energy?

 

You sound happy where you are, stay there and don't bother talking with the past.

[Beeotch]

I received an email from my ex this morning after having absolutely no contact with him for over 2 years. We had dated for 5+ years before I was unceremoniously dumped by email, and I suspect cheated on. He's never sincerely apologized for what he's done. I've essentially cut him and everything about him out of my life.

 

The email was short and pleasant, wishing me well on a recent success. We have no mutual friends in common. I do not belong to any social networking sites, so I am unclear as to how he found out about the recent success, other than by searching on the internet.

 

I am curious as to what my obligations are. Do I respond to this email with a "thank you" and leave it at that? Do I ignore the email? is this a fishing expedition because he's on the rebound and thinks that predictable Ingenue will always be there?

 

I am currently and very happily involved in a relationship with another man. I have no desire to get back with this ex. We are not, nor do I imagine, ever will be friends. But, I almost feel as if I have to respond to the email out of courtesy, even if the email is simply two words, "thank you".

 

Any advice as to what I should do? I've disclosed this all to the current man I'm dating and he's of the opinion that I should ignore him.

 

 

You're not obligated to do anything....

 

If you'e over it though, then you can say thank you and end it there. Whether he is rebounding or whatever his motive is should be of no consequence to you. Usually people feel antsy and need advice about the ex when there is still some feeling there and if not they don't labor over whether or not they should respond, well I wouldn't anyway. It would be like someone whom I had a falling out with years ago saying hi to me, it's been years, I don't care anymore (hopefully) so me saying hi back takes nothing from my life as I no longer have any expectations of them...but likewise I'm not obligated to respond either.

 

If you feel fine about responding, then respond, but you obviously don't or else this would't be a thread...so if it is that big of an issue, leave it be.

Edited May 30, 2011 by Beeotch

[Exit]

I would ignore it out of respect for your current relationship. If you are happy with who you have now, respect them by acknowledging that whatever the intentions are behind this ex's email, they are probably nothing good. He either wants to mess with you, or actually wants to try to get back with you, or anything in between, but you have someone else important now.

 

Ask yourself, is it really truly some kind of sense of "courtesy" or "obligation" that you feel you should reply? Are you really the most polite person in the world that it would kill you not to answer? Or are you honestly somewhat intrigued by what it all means? Respect your current relationship, who knows where this road might lead...

[FreeNow]

 

• absolutely no contact with him for over 2 years.
  
• unceremoniously dumped by email
  
• I suspect cheated on.
  
• never sincerely apologized
  
• no mutual friends in common
  
• currently and very happily involved in a relationship
  
• no desire to get back with this ex
  
• are not, nor do I imagine, ever will be friends
  
• current man I'm dating, he's of the opinion that I should ignore
  

 

I'd ignore it like spam. No reply is necessary and won't serve any useful purpose.

 

is this a fishing expedition because he's on the rebound and thinks that predictable Ingenue will always be there?

 

Yes.

[Ingenue]

Thanks for the advice all.

 

Admittedly, I think there is something lingering, but not in the positive realm. I think I still have some unresolved feelings of being slighted. I feel this deep offense that this ex could treat me so cavalierly and not feel any remorse about his actions. So hearing from him after these years is somewhat surprising. I have utterly no desire to rekindle anything, even a friendship with this ex. I've already written off the years that I spent with him as one bad decision.

 

I think I shall ignore the email and leave it at that. The ex never bestowed any sense of respect or courtesy towards me at the end of the relationship, nor shall I.