elm3100 Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Hey fellow LSers, I was wondering what insight you could give to this situation. I've been messaging back and forth with a girl on OKC, and things seem to go well enough. I made her laugh, we got to know each other, etc. I offer my phone number, she texts me pretty soon thereafter and we move to texting. She went on vacation with her dad for 3 weeks and returned recently. Guessing that she'd be home by now, I send her a text message asking her how her trip went. She says she was just about to text me, says she had lots of fun and asks me how i've been doing. Eventually I tell her an interesting life story and she says "you'll have to tell me more when we meet irl." I decide to be a smartass and write "I don't know who this Irl guy is, but I don't go and meet strangers off the internet". She sends a text AND a message on OKC apologizing for allegedly freaking me out even after I told her it was a joke. I follow by trying to call her, ended up leaving a voicemail explaining what happened, and also sent a message on OKC. That was 2 days ago and it's been NC from her and myself ever since. I think I messed up and drove her away, what do you all think?
Sabali Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 It good to have a great sense of humor and to be light-hearted. Too many folks have a stick up their @$$ and just do not know how to loosen up. With that said, you must choose your humor carefully in situations like this. I think the whole "meeting strangers on the internet" although is funny from my standpoint, when trying to develop a romance, I would stay away from jokes like that because even though she likely realizes that it was a joke, it probably took the air out of the romance and anticipation of seeing you. It is difficult to get that momentum going once it is halted. In addition to this, I think you "overdid" it by calling her, leaving a voicemail message, and an OKcupid message. She could smell your anxiety at that point. Really. This whole attraction concept can be tricky. Because it can be so tricky, I often advise to say as less as possible between dates in the beginning. I would stay away from texting, especially. That get guys in so much trouble too early in the game. So having a sense of humor is great but know which topics to stay away from such as the fact that you two met on the internet and do not know each other well.
Kaplan Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 You didn't blow it. You dodged a bullet. A stupid, not-getting-jokes bullet.
Mimi99 Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Hey fellow LSers, I was wondering what insight you could give to this situation. I've been messaging back and forth with a girl on OKC, and things seem to go well enough. I made her laugh, we got to know each other, etc. I offer my phone number, she texts me pretty soon thereafter and we move to texting. She went on vacation with her dad for 3 weeks and returned recently. Guessing that she'd be home by now, I send her a text message asking her how her trip went. She says she was just about to text me, says she had lots of fun and asks me how i've been doing. Eventually I tell her an interesting life story and she says "you'll have to tell me more when we meet irl." I decide to be a smartass and write "I don't know who this Irl guy is, but I don't go and meet strangers off the internet". She sends a text AND a message on OKC apologizing for allegedly freaking me out even after I told her it was a joke. I follow by trying to call her, ended up leaving a voicemail explaining what happened, and also sent a message on OKC. That was 2 days ago and it's been NC from her and myself ever since. I think I messed up and drove her away, what do you all think? I have to ask what OKC is. But I'm guessing you've never met this girl in person before? I don't think your text drove her away, and you did explain and apologize, so.... If I were a guy, I probably would wait and send a flirty, fun text to get her attention. If she doesn't respond, I'd just drop it. Maybe she's just playing hard to get.
JungleLover Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Hard to tell if you blew it at this point but her not calling you after being away for 3 weeks and after you leaving all of those messages can't be working in your favor.
Author elm3100 Posted May 30, 2011 Author Posted May 30, 2011 I have to ask what OKC is. But I'm guessing you've never met this girl in person before? I don't think your text drove her away, and you did explain and apologize, so.... If I were a guy, I probably would wait and send a flirty, fun text to get her attention. If she doesn't respond, I'd just drop it. Maybe she's just playing hard to get. OKC = OKCupid.com. It's a free dating website.
Author elm3100 Posted May 30, 2011 Author Posted May 30, 2011 Hard to tell if you blew it at this point but her not calling you after being away for 3 weeks and after you leaving all of those messages can't be working in your favor. Sorry, my original post wasn't very clear. I contacted her on OKC, she seemed interested. We messaged a bit, I made her laugh. I gave her my number, she texted within about 15 minutes, and we texted from there. After that she left for vacation. I texted her around the time she got back, and she responded quickly again. We swapped some life stories, and then I told the joke about 3 days ago now. Haven't heard anything from her since I explained how it was a joke and I was sorry, because she thought I was freaked out by her suggesting we meet in person. I really wasn't freaked, but I was instead trying to be funny and ended up looking like an *******. Hope that makes a little more sense.
thatone Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 i'll play devil's advocate, i kinda think you blew it. i hear from women i've met online all the time that they are leery of meeting people in person that they talked to online for fear of stumbling across the rapist/stalker/axe murderer/whatever type. she hinted about meeting in person, you should've set up a meeting in person right then and there, or at worst, said you'd see tomorrow what your schedule looked like and then called her to arrange something in person in an actual conversation, rather than over text.
alphamale Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 OKC = OKCupid.com. It's a free dating website. where you get what you pay for
Sabali Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Considering she is acting different right after you made the joke and she became all apologetic afterwards and is not replying to you now, this one is going to be sleeping with the fishes. Taking the temporal of events into consideration here, it must have been something you said. I think it was the joke. It was a bad one, in my opinion. That is what we want. We want the girl to meet us. She gave you something positive like alluding to you two meeting up together and you replied with a bad joke. If a joke came with insert here signs, the sign would not have been placed there. You were not trying to use some of that cocky and funny stuff that is sweeping the nation, were you? Also, you exchanged life stories over text? Oh, goodness...
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