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Posted
The last contact I had with him was last Sat when he sent me the text stating that his wife had found my texts and made him choose. He said he was sorry but was going to have to resign from the game. He also said that he promised her he was going to have no more contact with me. That's what I know and that's the last thing I heard from him. To me, that doesn't mean his marriage

broke up, but that he chose her.

 

If the tables were turned, my husband would not separate over some text messages.

 

He had told me he was not in a happy marriage.

 

 

you're assuming, again. you could have caused irreparable damage. you could have caused nothing. fact is, you dont know, you're assuming all this ... and to think that his family MIGHT be together gives you at least SOME peace of mind...is odd to me.

 

but, now it begs the question, would you have left your husband for this man? what if he chose you?

Posted
you're assuming, again. you could have caused irreparable damage. you could have caused nothing. fact is, you dont know, you're assuming all this ... and to think that his family MIGHT be together gives you at least SOME peace of mind...is odd to me.

 

but, now it begs the question, would you have left your husband for this man? what if he chose you?

 

Why are you being so mean to me? Would it make you feel any better if I told my husband and left him?

Posted

hopefully you're concentrating on making YOUR life right...seeking counseling and close friends helping you through.

Posted
Why are you being so mean to me? Would it make you feel any better if I told my husband and left him?

 

And what's up with the "you could have caused"? It was both of our faults.

Posted
Why are you being so mean to me? Would it make you feel any better if I told my husband and left him?

 

no. I'm sorry if I'm being mean, or if that's what you're interpreting. I'm trying to get you to look at this from an OBJECTIVE prospective. And...I'm telling FACTS ... as far as I know them.

 

Some things you're saying are assumption on your part, which leads readers on here to only assume either you're covering up your contact with him or you know more than what you're telling.

 

The only way to get healed is to fix the issue at the root of the problem.

Posted
And what's up with the "you could have caused"? It was both of our faults.

 

true. but think of it this way...you stated you think his family is not broken up. I was stating what I was stating because what IF they are/were broken up.

Just cause you dont THINK they are, doesnt mean you have ANY clue what they're going through or could be going through.

 

This is not meant to be mean...it's just meant to help one realize the scope of this on both ends.

 

yes, it's his fault too.

Posted
true. but think of it this way...you stated you think his family is not broken up. I was stating what I was stating because what IF they are/were broken up.

Just cause you dont THINK they are, doesnt mean you have ANY clue what they're going through or could be going through.

 

This is not meant to be mean...it's just meant to help one realize the scope of this on both ends.

 

yes, it's his fault too.

 

I am trying to work on me. I think I've stated that in this thread. It's true that I've made assumptions. I have no idea what his family is going through. My health is not great right now and I went to the dr. yesterday because of it. Probably stress but I have an infection and I never get sick.

 

It is tough for me to have an objective because because I am still hurting over this. My head is messed up which I have also said. I can't eat and I can't sleep.

 

Some of it is probably because of my marriage and because my kids are getting married this year and moving out. Some of it is because I am the type of person who can't stand the thought of anybody hurting so to know I could have caused some is killing me.

Posted

I kind of also find it hard to believe that a couple would not be able to reconcile over some text messages unless something like this had happened before or something else was or is going on? What are your thoughts on that? Maybe I'm wrong and off base, but if it was a one time thing, you really think they would separate?

Posted

And, if he did have a happy marriage, why would he even talk to me?

Posted
I kind of also find it hard to believe that a couple would not be able to reconcile over some text messages unless something like this had happened before or something else was or is going on? What are your thoughts on that? Maybe I'm wrong and off base, but if it was a one time thing, you really think they would separate?

 

I have no idea.

 

What would u do if you found your husband doing what your MM did?

Posted
And, if he did have a happy marriage, why would he even talk to me?

 

But his level of happiness in his marriage should have ZERO bearing on whether or not you decided to pursue him / continue on.

It's not your responsibility to ease his pain, nor he yours.

 

Make sense?

Posted
Easier said than done. Everybody thinks he is wonderful and I have always been a stay at home Mom so I have no money. I am going back to college in the fall to get some indeoendence, but after being married for 25 years, I wouldn't even know how to leave him.

 

I feel for you, but really, you've been talking to a guy you don't know and his wife found out and he chose her. You're both Christians and know you were violating every rule attached to marriage, even if there was no sex. You should respect his decision.

 

As for your husband, who the hell cares how wonderful everyone thinks he is??? If he's abusive, LEAVE. He'll owe you maintenance or alimony.

Posted
But his level of happiness in his marriage should have ZERO bearing on whether or not you decided to pursue him / continue on.

It's not your responsibility to ease his pain, nor he yours.

 

Make sense?

 

True although I did not pursue him at all. He was quite persistent. At one time I even refused to speak to him for about 2 days. He kept trying. I should have not spoken to him from the beginning when he was flattering me. I should have just ignored it like I have with other people. I think he caught me at a weak moment.

Posted
I have no idea.

 

What would u do if you found your husband doing what your MM did?

 

I would insist we go to mc which I have asked for before. I even asked the mm to seek mc with his wife. He even told me she would go, but he never pursued it.

Posted
I have no idea.

 

What would u do if you found your husband doing what your MM did?

 

I feel for you, but really, you've been talking to a guy you don't know and his wife found out and he chose her. You're both Christians and know you were violating every rule attached to marriage, even if there was no sex. You should respect his decision.

 

As for your husband, who the hell cares how wonderful everyone thinks he is??? If he's abusive, LEAVE. He'll owe you maintenance or alimony.

 

How have I not respected his decision???

Posted
I feel for you, but really, you've been talking to a guy you don't know and his wife found out and he chose her. You're both Christians and know you were violating every rule attached to marriage, even if there was no sex. You should respect his decision.

 

As for your husband, who the hell cares how wonderful everyone thinks he is??? If he's abusive, LEAVE. He'll owe you maintenance or alimony.

 

Ditto. Quit searching for info from his kids online. You have participated enough in hurting his family! Sorry if you can't see that. Leave them alone and quit stalking his kid online.

 

MM claim all kinds of lies to get an ego boost. You claim all this abuse, yet told no one of it and have done nothing about it except now drag your daughter into it by telling her that her father is being mean to you.

 

True although I did not pursue him at all. He was quite persistent. At one time I even refused to speak to him for about 2 days. He kept trying. I should have not spoken to him from the beginning when he was flattering me. I should have just ignored it like I have with other people. I think he caught me at a weak moment.

 

enough with the "he pursued me". You had choices and chose to get involved. No one held a gun to her head.

Posted

I'm not stalking him or his kids so u can quit with that crap. Right now I could care less about anything or anybody and I've about had it with this forum. 2 things I wish I had never done. 1 is talk to mm at all and 2 is post for help on this forum!

Posted
And, if he did have a happy marriage, why would he even talk to me?

 

Ego feed. Not all people who cheat have bad or loveless marriages. Just ask some of the BS's on here. It is HIM that his broken inside! Sure maybe things arent perfect in the marriage but that isn't a justifcation to go and cheat.

 

You only know what he's told you. Online and on the phone. You can only get to know someone to a certain point that way..There is TONS of stuff you don't know about him, and that's a fact.

Posted
I'm not stalking him or his kids so u can quit with that crap. Right now I could care less about anything or anybody and I've about had it with this forum. 2 things I wish I had never done. 1 is talk to mm at all and 2 is post for help on this forum!

 

I am not sure if I'll be back on this forum or not. I am beating myself up enough and don't need to be beat up anymore. It isn't good for me.

Posted

“For I am the LORD, Your God,

who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you.”

- Isaiah 41:13

Posted

It amazes me how scripture keeps being quoted, yet not one time or one scripture on adultery and the consequences of that. Hmmmm.

Posted

Torytorytory,

 

ultimately, all this feedback is to give you the truth. If you can't handle that, then you should leave ... but no one here is being rude or calling you names.

You asked for help and sometimes "help" is hearing things you don't want to hear.

 

now ... with that being said ... I agree on all points posted ...

 

I'm sure this story, on BOTH ends, has a DEEP history ... deeper than any of us know and probably deeper than MM or you realize (past hurts, unresolved issues, etc).

 

If MM tries to reach out to you, what is your response after all this? And how would he get a hold of you? the online game?

Posted

Has anyone else noticed just how interested mike R is in toris posts and how many specific questions he is asking? Tori I think this poster either knows you or for some reason has an unhealthy interest in your story. To weird he or she just showed up and has only posted on this thread. Be careful.

Posted

wow, now I'm being judged.

 

well, at any rate, Torytorytory, I hope you find help and I hope the MM get's help too.

Posted

"Strong Tower"

 

When I wander through the desert

And I'm longing for my home

All my dreams have gone astray

When I'm stranded in the valley

And I'm tired and all alone

It seems like I've lost my way

 

I go running to your mountain

Where your mercy sets me free

 

[chorus]

You are my strong tower

Shelter over me

Beautiful and mighty

Everlasting King

You are my strong tower

Fortress when I'm weak

Your name is true and holy

And Your face is all I seek

 

In the middle of my darkness

In the midst of all my fear

You're my refuge and my hope

When the storm of life is raging

And the thunder's all I hear

You speak softly to my soul

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