Mimolicious Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Oh boy... *facepalm* Drumroll........................................ Ok so TTT. What do you have to say now?
26pointblue Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Odd, for such a real poster this thread has gone way off track. Almost as if a troll had started it, you know, to get well intentioned posters bickering amongst themselves. Hmmmmmmm....... Yeah, and from MICHIGAN, huh? Whatever happened to our spidery-named friend from those parts, who only had an emotional online affair with her sometimes-legless MM? But who lived in NYC at one point, like our flowerly-named friend who talks like a teenager, whose MM suddenly decided to get divorced after 5 years of cheating, conveniently right after she joined LS & everyone told her he was never leaving? These are definitely things that make you go hmmmmm.
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Oh boy... *facepalm* Drumroll........................................ Ok so TTT. What do you have to say now? Nothing that I haven't already said?
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I'm not going to post anymore unless somebody asks me questions or something. Which is what I was doing with this name, only answering questions.
26pointblue Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Okay Tory so in giving you the benefit of the doubt. Can you please go back & re-read my post & tell me why your family wouldn't support you in leaving a man who abuses you? Others have posed this same question & I am really interested in the answer. Thanks.
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Okay Tory so in giving you the benefit of the doubt. Can you please go back & re-read my post & tell me why your family wouldn't support you in leaving a man who abuses you? Others have posed this same question & I am really interested in the answer. Thanks. Maybe they would? My parents are now 80 years old and my Dad keeps saying stuff to me like "we know you will be well taken care of" etc., He has said that alot recently. His health isn't very good anymore. I think that if I left my husband, they would feel like they would need to do something to help me out and financially and healthwise they can't. Also, the verbal abuse is subtle. Years ago it was much worst than it is now. Now, it is in the form of mean teasing. He'll say something to me and I'll get mad and call him on it and he'll say he was kidding. One day recently I pointed out to my daughter that I thought what he said was not nice. She said, oh, I thought he was kidding. I could go call you a jerk with a smile on my face and say I was joking, but it still hurts. This past week though, like I said, he is being better. It makes me think things will change. Deep down, I know they won't. I'm just not a very strong person right now. My head is messed up.
Mimolicious Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 KAV, TTT or whateveryouarecalled. I hope you find a way out of that abusive R. The rest is not for me to judge on. Good luck!
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 On another note, I was dead serious about getting a divorce about a month ago. That is why I decided to go back to school so I could get a life away from here and be able to support myself. That's still my goal.
26pointblue Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Maybe they would? My parents are now 80 years old and my Dad keeps saying stuff to me like "we know you will be well taken care of" etc., He has said that alot recently. His health isn't very good anymore. I think that if I left my husband, they would feel like they would need to do something to help me out and financially and healthwise they can't. Also, the verbal abuse is subtle. Years ago it was much worst than it is now. Now, it is in the form of mean teasing. He'll say something to me and I'll get mad and call him on it and he'll say he was kidding. One day recently I pointed out to my daughter that I thought what he said was not nice. She said, oh, I thought he was kidding. I could go call you a jerk with a smile on my face and say I was joking, but it still hurts. This past week though, like I said, he is being better. It makes me think things will change. Deep down, I know they won't. I'm just not a very strong person right now. My head is messed up.[/quote I understand about the verbal abuse. My dad does the exact same thing to my mom & I think it is so wrong. I think you need to make it clear to him- & your family- that it's a serious problem he needs to get help with & stop, or you will leave. And then you need to be prepared to back it up. He will have to provide you with the same level of support to which you have been accustomed. You will most likely need to get a job but I think this will be good for you. I think your family will be there for you. I think this has everything to do with you & nothing at all to do with your xMM except that he was your means of escape / coping. It was the same for me [minus the abusive husband]. You can do this. Good luck. Be strong.
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Maybe they would? My parents are now 80 years old and my Dad keeps saying stuff to me like "we know you will be well taken care of" etc., He has said that alot recently. His health isn't very good anymore. I think that if I left my husband, they would feel like they would need to do something to help me out and financially and healthwise they can't. Also, the verbal abuse is subtle. Years ago it was much worst than it is now. Now, it is in the form of mean teasing. He'll say something to me and I'll get mad and call him on it and he'll say he was kidding. One day recently I pointed out to my daughter that I thought what he said was not nice. She said, oh, I thought he was kidding. I could go call you a jerk with a smile on my face and say I was joking, but it still hurts. This past week though, like I said, he is being better. It makes me think things will change. Deep down, I know they won't. I'm just not a very strong person right now. My head is messed up.[/quote I understand about the verbal abuse. My dad does the exact same thing to my mom & I think it is so wrong. I think you need to make it clear to him- & your family- that it's a serious problem he needs to get help with & stop, or you will leave. And then you need to be prepared to back it up. He will have to provide you with the same level of support to which you have been accustomed. You will most likely need to get a job but I think this will be good for you. I think your family will be there for you. I think this has everything to do with you & nothing at all to do with your xMM except that he was your means of escape / coping. It was the same for me [minus the abusive husband]. You can do this. Good luck. Be strong. Thanks! See, this is what MM was helping me to do. I would say on my h said this to me and he'd say, what? that was downright mean and should NOT be allowed. I'd say but he said he was kidding, he would say, no, that's mean, it's not funny! Last week I did talk to my husband and told him to change or I was leaving. I told him his teasing is cruel and when we have "date nights" he spends the whole time on his blackberry. I also told him when I try to talk to him, he makes fun of me and will say I've been drinking too much wine which is not the case. I pointed out the fact that he even said he needed to do shots in order to listen to me. Mind you, I am a quiet person. I am not a blabbermouth, but I can be if I have a glass of wine, but really, I'm not bad. Because I told him this and more, he has been nice. I'm just waiting to see how long this will last this time. Although, I think he knows I am serious. I am ready to leave. It may not be now, but next time he gives me his crap, even if I have to go to a hotel, I will. A good thing is that he will be gone for a week soon and then I will be gone for the following week.
MikeRogers Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Sorry all, I'm at work. I can tell you with all honesty that I am NOT Kariva nor am I Tory. I'm here, new, seeking help in my own situations and wanting to in some way help with others' situations. Tory/Kariva ... please stay to get help and answer q's. That is, essentially, what a therapist would do...ask questions and you answer them. THis is a form of therapy. Have you had any contact with MM? And what of your future plans? Made plans for exit strategy?
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 "If your brother (or sister) sins, rebuke him (or her), and if he (or she) repents, forgive him (or her). 4 If he (or she) sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him (or her).” Luke 17:3–4
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Sorry all, I'm at work. I can tell you with all honesty that I am NOT Kariva nor am I Tory. I'm here, new, seeking help in my own situations and wanting to in some way help with others' situations. Tory/Kariva ... please stay to get help and answer q's. That is, essentially, what a therapist would do...ask questions and you answer them. THis is a form of therapy. Have you had any contact with MM? And what of your future plans? Made plans for exit strategy? No, I haven't had any contact with MM. I don't know what my future plans are. I don't know what an exit strategy is? I "think" I said in a previous post I could go stay at a hotel if I had to if things get bad enough here, but I don't anticipate that right now because my h will be travelling alot. I also don't know what I would do with all my animals if I did that.
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Sorry all, I'm at work. I can tell you with all honesty that I am NOT Kariva nor am I Tory. I'm here, new, seeking help in my own situations and wanting to in some way help with others' situations. Tory/Kariva ... please stay to get help and answer q's. That is, essentially, what a therapist would do...ask questions and you answer them. THis is a form of therapy. Have you had any contact with MM? And what of your future plans? Made plans for exit strategy? Why would I hear from MM? He made it very clear he wasn't going to have any contact with me.
MikeRogers Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I only ask because there is always a pattern of behavior in these situations ... either you or he can break down EASILY and reach out for contact. I've seen this in my own relationships ... just making sure you're staying away.
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I only ask because there is always a pattern of behavior in these situations ... either you or he can break down EASILY and reach out for contact. I've seen this in my own relationships ... just making sure you're staying away. I'm staying away because he is and I respect him enough as a person to respect his wishes. I Hope and pray he is able to reconcile with his wife.
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 What kind of scares me, is what if he has had lots of affairs in the past that I didn't know about? How would I even know that? How do you ever even know that about a person you meet online? How would you even find that out? Who would ever tell you the truth about somebody?
MikeRogers Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Well, let's be blatant here and say ...if you TRULY respected him and his wife, you would've never got involved in the first place nor kept it going. Make sense?
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Well, let's be blatant here and say ...if you TRULY respected him and his wife, you would've never got involved in the first place nor kept it going. Make sense? Very true. However, he pursued me way more than I pursued him. I know I am at fault too, but he kept pushing and pushing me eventhough I kept saying "no".
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Very true. However, he pursued me way more than I pursued him. I know I am at fault too, but he kept pushing and pushing me eventhough I kept saying "no". Why do I feel like I'm the bad guy in this when it was both of us?!
MikeRogers Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 It WAS both of you ... and according to your twitter research and assumptions and information, he IS suffering ... with his family breakup. You may be suffering too but your family is still in tact...no? My guess. The blame is to be put on you both but if there is true repentance, with both parties, God can heal this.
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 It WAS both of you ... and according to your twitter research and assumptions and information, he IS suffering ... with his family breakup. You may be suffering too but your family is still in tact...no? My guess. The blame is to be put on you both but if there is true repentance, with both parties, God can heal this. Last I heard, his family had not broken up. They were going to work on their marriage and one of the conditions of that was that he have no contact with me. Granted, his family is hurting, but as far as I know, they're still together.
MikeRogers Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 sooo...do you HAVE contact with him, or not? how did you hear this? seems like you might be finding out ways to contact him or find info on his family....which is NOT healthy...be careful. if the table were turned, would YOUR family be trying to work things out? or would they be separated? I realize you're in an unhappy marriage...but maybe HE WAS in a happy marriage?
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 sooo...do you HAVE contact with him, or not? how did you hear this? seems like you might be finding out ways to contact him or find info on his family....which is NOT healthy...be careful. if the table were turned, would YOUR family be trying to work things out? or would they be separated? I realize you're in an unhappy marriage...but maybe HE WAS in a happy marriage? The last contact I had with him was last Sat when he sent me the text stating that his wife had found my texts and made him choose. He said he was sorry but was going to have to resign from the game. He also said that he promised her he was going to have no more contact with me. That's what I know and that's the last thing I heard from him. To me, that doesn't mean his marriage broke up, but that he chose her. If the tables were turned, my husband would not separate over some text messages. He had told me he was not in a happy marriage.
MikeRogers Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 sorry ... but I just want to make sure I'm not wasting my breath here ... fact is, you should NOT be concentrating on HIM but on YOU. how's YOUR marriage? how's YOUR kids. how's YOUR health?
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