MikeRogers Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I agree. What to some seemed like inconsistencies, seemed to me like defensiveness because she was unused to having to fend for herself on a message board. what if she WASNT a troll and was on here looking for help?
trinity1 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Doesn't look like she was "banned". She still comes up in the LS directory. So chill out guys. She's not in the Members List. You can oftentimes read posts by banned members, but they get deleted from the Members List.
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 What I meant was, were the texts sexual in nature (kariva?). It seems a family can resolve a non-sexual, texting relationship ... but, considering she stated that his son (sons?) posted something that said they were "shattered" ... that's a bold/dramatic statement for just an "emotional" affair (non-sexual) ... I wonder if Kariva or MM had had previous indescretions? did Kariva state in her posts that MM had had previous affairs? Kariva is married for 25 years and a leader in her church. How long has MM been married and what's his spiritual upbringing? Kariva, if you can somehow read this ... I wonder if she felt like she "loved him" ... I just feel like God offers healing to the DEEPEST hurts but if we don't ASK for healing, we'll never get it. Meaning, would she draw boundaries with her husband and tell him, unless you respect me and my feelings, I'm not staying here. That's asking for healing, and change, and boundaries. I wonder if she could make something of herself and get her photography business up and running? Idle hands are the devil's workplace Maybe this feeling of "non-affection" needs stems from her own father? (I'm totally presuming here...not judging). So, where does Kariva go from here? Just leave MM wife in shambles? MM's kids too? An emotional affair can consist of sexual texts. I've also been wondering why they would still shatter somebody's family? I mean, I guess they could, but it wasn't in person? I'm fairly certain Kariva hasn't had any other indiscretions, but she doesn't know if MM has or not. I am guessing that Kariva did feel like she loved him although how can that be? Maybe that she loved the idea of him? I'm also pretty sure that Kariva has already drawn those boundaries with her husband recently. I am guessing that MM was helping her to do that. MM was helping her to do alot of things like that which could be why she was so upset to lose him. I'm also guessing that Kariva has already asked God to heal her deepest hurts and it is helping alot! I am also guessing though she has a long way to go. I'm not understanding why you want to know where Kariva goes from here? I mean, leave mm's wife and son's in shambles? There isn't anything she can do to fix that, is there?
Silly_Girl Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 In all honesty, I don't believe she was a troll. Just somebody looking for some help and new to message boards and the way they work . . . I agree actually.
Silly_Girl Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 No, actually the damage is done when a poster has so many inconsistencies in their story. Can't keep the fantasy facts straight and we actually have the ability to read and follow up. That's what happened. If it were as simple as gigantic inconsistencies there'd be a less regular posters on this board
whichwayisup Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 You're right, I made it all up, I'm a troll please forgive me. This irks me. Lots of people reached out and were really supportive. What a waste of time and energy. Kariva's banned alright. Another OW falling victim for being falsely accused of being a troll. If she IS a troll and banned, then she wasn't for real asking for help. She would still be posting and Tony wouldn't have banned her. Maybe he checked an IP addy it matched already banned address. Yes, it's been happening a lot lately. In my opinion there is more damage being done mistakingly suspecting a poster of being a troll than the damage the actual trolls are doing. If a person is NOT a troll, they will continue posting and ask for help, or just leave.. They don't get banned. It does damage overall to have many trolls pretending and making stuff up, it's a waste of everyone's time and effort on here. IN the recent past there has been weekly trolls and it makes one question any new members that join if they are real or not. I give the benefit of doubt until I get smacked in the face.
Mimolicious Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 She's not in the Members List. You can oftentimes read posts by banned members, but they get deleted from the Members List. Really?! That is strange because she came when I looked her up. Maybe a person can go private? I dont know... Nuh uh.
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 This irks me. Lots of people reached out and were really supportive. What a waste of time and energy. If she IS a troll and banned, then she wasn't for real asking for help. She would still be posting and Tony wouldn't have banned her. Maybe he checked an IP addy it matched already banned address. If a person is NOT a troll, they will continue posting and ask for help, or just leave.. They don't get banned. It does damage overall to have many trolls pretending and making stuff up, it's a waste of everyone's time and effort on here. IN the recent past there has been weekly trolls and it makes one question any new members that join if they are real or not. I give the benefit of doubt until I get smacked in the face. I'm pretty sure she wasn't a troll . . .
Mimolicious Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 What I meant was, were the texts sexual in nature (kariva?). It seems a family can resolve a non-sexual, texting relationship ... but, considering she stated that his son (sons?) posted something that said they were "shattered" ... that's a bold/dramatic statement for just an "emotional" affair (non-sexual) ... I wonder if Kariva or MM had had previous indescretions? did Kariva state in her posts that MM had had previous affairs? Kariva is married for 25 years and a leader in her church. How long has MM been married and what's his spiritual upbringing? Kariva, if you can somehow read this ... I wonder if she felt like she "loved him" ... I just feel like God offers healing to the DEEPEST hurts but if we don't ASK for healing, we'll never get it. Meaning, would she draw boundaries with her husband and tell him, unless you respect me and my feelings, I'm not staying here. That's asking for healing, and change, and boundaries. I wonder if she could make something of herself and get her photography business up and running? Idle hands are the devil's workplace Maybe this feeling of "non-affection" needs stems from her own father? (I'm totally presuming here...not judging). So, where does Kariva go from here? Just leave MM wife in shambles? MM's kids too? You're pretty absorbed in this story aren't you?! Given that June is like just few hours old and all... I wonder?! The community is growing with such a sisterhood!
jwi71 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I'm pretty sure she wasn't a troll . . . I'm pretty sure she admitted being a troll and got subsequently smacked by the ban-hammer. Asta-la-vista baby.
whichwayisup Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I'm pretty sure she admitted being a troll and got subsequently smacked by the ban-hammer. Asta-la-vista baby. Yup. If she isn't a troll and truly needs help, she'll create another username, come back and say her troll comment was a joke and was taken out of context. Admitting that one is troll is suicide on here. Trolls are a waste of everyone's time and effort. It's like the little boy who called wolf too many times!
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Yup. If she isn't a troll and truly needs help, she'll create another username, come back and say her troll comment was a joke and was taken out of context. Admitting that one is troll is suicide on here. Trolls are a waste of everyone's time and effort. It's like the little boy who called wolf too many times! Well, if she did that, she would probably get banned again, wouldn't she?
Trimmer Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I would think she would be banned not for being called a "troll" (we have many of those on here) but for quoting a Tweet, which are searchable BTW. ...although the mods have seldom hesitated to delete whole offending posts, so it's hard to imagine they would go to the effort to ban someone for posting a searchable Tweet, yet be too lazy to press the "delete" button in their moderation control panel while it's right there in front of them, leaving the searchable Tweet in place... Everybody who is jumping on the OP's supposed "inconsistencies" and pounding the dead hyena with old bones... The comment about "can you imagine if his wife found out" was made in a separate context than her currently-ended EA. She had originally slipped this comment in: I know if I met the right person, I would have an affair. I know you all probably think I'm a bad person now. I'm really not. Then, everybody told her what a bad idea that would be, and she eventually commented that she agreed it would be a bad idea: An affair will only complicate matters. Can you imagine if his wife found out and told my husband? I believe she's talking her about an imagined affair she might have with a non-specific "him", which makes this comment - taken out of context by the troll-bashers - consistent with her narrative. As for the "inconsistency" between saying that everyone loves her husband, but then claiming he could be abusive... Do we know nothing about the "culture" of abuse, about the cycles of abuse that are sometimes passed down generation by generation, about the way bystanders and participants alike will make excuses and rationalizations around abusive behavior? Especially in a highly religious context where the man is king, and breaking a marriage for almost any reason is anathema? Do we really not get this? The point is, that if we err on the side of aggression in this need to drive absolutely every "troll" away, then we will undoubtedly end up beating up some people in real need, who are confused, who are unfamiliar with the culture of online forums, who post one or two confusing details in weird context that someone will miss, and then the OP gets defensive when attacked (big surprise), which the bashers take as proof they are trolls, and the whole cycle is complete... If a troll offends you, why not just walk away? Report it to a mod, if you must. Why take it so personally? If you are offended by your time being wasted, fine, don't waste it any more - just walk away. Yes, it's been happening a lot lately. In my opinion there is more damage being done mistakingly suspecting a poster of being a troll than the damage the actual trolls are doing.
Trimmer Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I'm pretty sure she admitted being a troll and got subsequently smacked by the ban-hammer. Pretty clear that was bitter sarcasm as she left...
TheFamilyMan Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 that was a hell of a long and involved post for a troll.
whichwayisup Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 that was a hell of a long and involved post for a troll. We've had trolls that have stayed on LS for months and then one admitted wanting to write a book! Bella was her name. Another one recently was a guy who was writing a paper and made up crap, we all bought it for a while, then details were sketchy and things stopped adding up.
Mimolicious Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 ...although the mods have seldom hesitated to delete whole offending posts, so it's hard to imagine they would go to the effort to ban someone for posting a searchable Tweet, yet be too lazy to press the "delete" button in their moderation control panel while it's right there in front of them, leaving the searchable Tweet in place... Everybody who is jumping on the OP's supposed "inconsistencies" and pounding the dead hyena with old bones... The comment about "can you imagine if his wife found out" was made in a separate context than her currently-ended EA. She had originally slipped this comment in: Then, everybody told her what a bad idea that would be, and she eventually commented that she agreed it would be a bad idea: I believe she's talking her about an imagined affair she might have with a non-specific "him", which makes this comment - taken out of context by the troll-bashers - consistent with her narrative. As for the "inconsistency" between saying that everyone loves her husband, but then claiming he could be abusive... Do we know nothing about the "culture" of abuse, about the cycles of abuse that are sometimes passed down generation by generation, about the way bystanders and participants alike will make excuses and rationalizations around abusive behavior? Especially in a highly religious context where the man is king, and breaking a marriage for almost any reason is anathema? Do we really not get this? The point is, that if we err on the side of aggression in this need to drive absolutely every "troll" away, then we will undoubtedly end up beating up some people in real need, who are confused, who are unfamiliar with the culture of online forums, who post one or two confusing details in weird context that someone will miss, and then the OP gets defensive when attacked (big surprise), which the bashers take as proof they are trolls, and the whole cycle is complete... If a troll offends you, why not just walk away? Report it to a mod, if you must. Why take it so personally? If you are offended by your time being wasted, fine, don't waste it any more - just walk away. Who are these "mods" you are talking about? There is only one and Tony is standing at the disability line about to get his SSI check from retiring this joint. He has said it himself that he has no time to sort through threads and offensive context. I would think that deleting an ID is easier than reading through few dozen posts. Just saying...
Trimmer Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Who are these "mods" you are talking about? There is only one and Tony is standing at the disability line about to get his SSI check from retiring this joint. He has said it himself that he has no time to sort through threads and offensive context. I would think that deleting an ID is easier than reading through few dozen posts. Just saying... In order for him to ban someone (which is the supposition that is beign discussed here) for an offending post that quoted a Tweet, he would have had to SEE the offending post with the quoted Tweet, right? Right there in front of him? And if at that moment he decides to ban the poster for the post that is right in front of him, it's probably a one-click button press to delete the offending post, as happens with posts where someone posts an Email address, etc. He doesn't have to read through dozens of posts. The supposition is that the banning happened because of the Tweet, so he would have had to be sitting there, reading that post to make that decision. Frankly, I agree with you that it isn't likely; my comment essentially agrees with your point, by pointing out that I thought it unlikely that if there was a ban, that it was because of this posted Tweet, as it would have been easy and obvious to delete the post with the Tweet at the time that decision was made. That didn't happen, so I didn't think that was the likely cause.
Trimmer Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 We've had trolls that have stayed on LS for months and then one admitted wanting to write a book! Bella was her name. Another one recently was a guy who was writing a paper and made up crap, we all bought it for a while, then details were sketchy and things stopped adding up. Not taking issue with your examples, but then where do we stand as a community about how aggressive we want to be in "rooting out" possible trolls? Are we willing to be aggressive to the degree that we assume every inconsistency is a red flag, and accept "false positives" (i.e. running off real, but clumsy first-time posters) in the interest of driving off every possible troll? Do we comment and walk away, or do we shout them down, pick them apart, so they know they are not welcome and should never come back - of course, possibly killing a few dolphins in our tuna net as we go hunting?
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Not taking issue with your examples, but then where do we stand as a community about how aggressive we want to be in "rooting out" possible trolls? Are we willing to be aggressive to the degree that we assume every inconsistency is a red flag, and accept "false positives" (i.e. running off real, but clumsy first-time posters) in the interest of driving off every possible troll? Do we comment and walk away, or do we shout them down, pick them apart, so they know they are not welcome and should never come back - of course, possibly killing a few dolphins in our tuna net as we go hunting? Really, she wasn't a troll.
whichwayisup Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Are you her? If so, then you should continue posting..
26pointblue Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 It's pretty clear to me that Kariva, MikeRogers & ToryToryTory are all the same person. But what do I know- I've been accused of being a troll myself! [i'm NOT! Don't ban me moderator!] But c'mon guys. New members Mike & Tory suddenly show up all interested in Kariva's thread & Mike is asking Tory questions about Kariva that Tory is answering as if she's Kariva. How pathetic!!! I'm not saying that Kariva is a troll- I didn't think she was except for the Tweet post which was very strange. I'm saying Kariva has issues & if she really needs help she should be straight up with us! Accuse me of being a troll all you want but I have ALWAYS been honest in my posts. So Kariva / Tory / whoever you are, be straight up w/ us & let us know the real deal b/c these games you're playing aren't cool. I know from experience that people here really do want to help. [Most.] So either stop wasting everyone*s time or come clean about what's really going on.
jwi71 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Odd, for such a real poster this thread has gone way off track. Almost as if a troll had started it, you know, to get well intentioned posters bickering amongst themselves. Hmmmmmmm.......
26pointblue Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Also Kariva/ Whoever - I posted some real questions & advice to you in an effort to help. You ignored me & started up your own question & answer session among yourselves [different personalities?] So if you're not a troll you need to stop acting like one! Be real, honest, answer questions & posts, & we are here to help you if you want help. Otherwise your different characters can carry out their little play somewhere else on the Internet. Grrrrr.
Torytorytory Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Also Kariva/ Whoever - I posted some real questions & advice to you in an effort to help. You ignored me & started up your own question & answer session among yourselves [different personalities?] So if you're not a troll you need to stop acting like one! Be real, honest, answer questions & posts, & we are here to help you if you want help. Otherwise your different characters can carry out their little play somewhere else on the Internet. Grrrrr. Ok, at the risk of being banned AGAIN, I am Kariva . . . I am however, not Mike. I have no clue who that is. I got banned and reason stated that I was a troll. I do appreciate everybody's help! I have read and reread each post. I promise you that I am not a troll. I have never been a troll and I am barely on internet message boards. I also post alot and read from my iphone so please forgive me if I miss your questions, etc. It's tough to read everything from an iphone. It's also tough to quote posts from an iphone. I am on my computer right now though.
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