robdrm32 Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 So i've been dating a girl about a month who is usually shy and insecure. We've had talks about me wanting her to show more affection etc. and we have only made out so far since she wants to take it slow which is fine since she is a virgin. This weekend while camping with her family i noticed how she interacted with her cousin, touchy feely, clingy etc. And to an outside observer they would have a hard time telling who she was with, me or him. At the dance last night it was more of the same, she is clinging to him while i'm left for extended periods of time standing alone or chatting with her family. Her little sister was the only reason i got out on the dance floor as she dragged me out. Her stepfather probably noticed my frustration and came to me and said how he hopes it doesn't bother me how she is with him, that she hasn't seen him in a few months since he is in the airforce and has been back only a few weeks. I laughed it off saying i know they are cousins its cool. Which i understand she hasn't seen him much, but at the same time he is staying there until monday and I am her boyfriend afterall... But it really does bother me, not really so much because of her cousin but moreso i feel she is never like that with me. When i showed up friday night after a 3 hour drive by myself to the campground, i got a "hey whats up" like we had been together all day. Which she does alot, i never get the sense she is excited to see me or even focused on us. When slowdancing the few times we did, she spent the entire time looking away from me talking to her family members around or just looking away in general. out of 3 songs she maybe looked at me for 10 seconds total. now i know she is a good person, she talks about me to all her friends/family all the time, tells me sweet things, like she has never felt this way, mostly over text, but i feel like her actions and what she says don't match. The only time i seem to get her attention is when she can tell i'm upset but outside of that i feel like she just takes me for granted and likes the idea of me being her boyfriend rather than the actual practice. just before i told her i think we need to have a talk, and she was like oh boy is it bad? i said not really bad, we just need to talk about things and no i'm not breaking up with you. and the response i get is "okay" as if it only matters if i'm going to end things. I feel like this early in a relationship should be the happiest time. I've brought these things up before but it doesn't seem to sink in. And i want to keep trying because i know she has a good heart and i've only had bad experiences so it's not easy to drop it and move on. I should say we did have a couple of nice moments, like before bed she came over and layed with me for a little bit, which was last night after she had noticed i was upset and was bugging me to talk to her about it but i didn't feel it was the time or place so i kept saying i was ok. Am I too needy or do i have reason to be frustrated? Thanks in advance
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