guy362 Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 I broke up with this girl 1.5 months ago because she wanted a "break" and I said that after this long (one year) I don't do breaks...she had mentioned a break twice before, once after I left work early to help her with a drunken afternoon (she is an addict), and another time after than when she was "bored" on a Sunday, and ended up nearly passed out at a bar at around 11:00 pm that night. Both times I suspected she had been up to something, more of a gut feeling, but no concrete evidence (one item of note, the first time, I remember that night she asked me if I had left sleeping pills in her kitchen drawer, and I said no, and then proceeded to ask her "well if you don't remember putting them there, and I didn't, then who did, did they give you to them?" She didn't really have a good response, just said "I thought you left them there, that's why I asked" Here is where things just seemed to go downhill...and I, like a chump seemed to try to overcompensate for her weird behaviours by being nicer and less like the guy I was when we first met (say the first 8 months or so)...probably should have just investigated better or just broke it off, but it was tough with this girl because I'm 36 and she's 32 and I believed everything she said about wanting marriage, family, kids, the whole nine yards (ha, even 32 yr old's are not too old to be mixed up and f'd). Anyway, I shouldn't be focused on any of this at this point, but I am, because I want to know that my gut instinct was correct. I confronted her about her f__ng other another guy after we broke up, which she continued to deny (and I believe at this point she is with this dude as a FWB). Why after we broke up? I dunno, she would have an excuse for the excuse for everything, and one sign didn't seem to mean much. Here are some of the things that were red flags to me prior to breaking up, look at them and tell me if I am sane or "insecure and jealous" : -unexplained sleeping pills in her kitchen drawer (she had no idea how they go there) -emotionally detached for the month before we broke up -would decline my sexual advances -wanted different, more kinky (tied up and bondage) all of a sudden sex -would be cold and then later in the afternoon seem to want to shop for my place "what do we need for groceries" but she would never do this prior -started guarding her cell phone -two new friends I have never heard of, a guy out of the blue and another from her AA group who she claimed was disgusting and had slept with every girl in that meeting. Needless to say, his named suddenly started coming up all the time -come home without underwear (had not done this prior) -went to pick up some clothes for a party later that night, came home 2.5 hours later, immediately said "I'm gonna take a shower", I remember asking her "Isn't the party in 5 hours?" she was just like yeah -car seat was pushed back one day (I asked her about this later and she said, she was probably cleaning, ha BS). -quick to pick a fight. My sister in law called during one of our conversations and I picked up and talked to her, at which point she immediately stormed out of the house. When I write the above, it just seems obvious to me, but this girl would have a plausible explanation for everything above and you would probably believe it. Like I said, we aren't together, but she still texts me every 1 - 2 weeks, random **** even to the point of sending ME a song about cheating "Look it Up". *also, I did get a text from a girl at 4:00 am one night probably 2 days before we broke up and she would not let it rest, she just focused on this for the next four hours on the attack.
Author guy362 Posted May 30, 2011 Author Posted May 30, 2011 yeah, what I thought... I talked to her 3 weeks after we broke up about this, and she basically said "NO, I DIDN'T". I didn't believe her and a second later she was like..."I would love to see the evidence, who was it with?" "I feel sorry for you...you're going through all these thoughts in your head and they're just not true" I believe she must believe in her own head that what she is saying is true in order to protect herself from her own tormented reality--in other words, the guilt of admitting to such behaviour would not allow her to maintain her frayed sense of feel-good-now.
OldOnTheInside Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Well, keep your distance from her. I suggest that you use this as a learning experience so you know how to deal with these types of people in the future.
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