Sanman Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 If her reluctance to have sex with you was due to being "old fashioned, she wouldn't have gotten naked and pulled off your pants in the first place. Most likely, it was a case of last minute resistance. Women do that sh*t all the time. It's a psychological thing for them; if they don't at least pretend to resist, they feel slutty. The general rule of thumb is that you simply ignore what she said and continue to escalate. If she tells you again that she doesn't want to do it, then stop (you don't want to get accused of rape...) However, don't stay overnight in that situation. If you're not having sex, there is no reason to sleep together. The next time you sleep with her, definitely go for it. If, at this point, she continues to resist, there is definitely something wrong. Getting naked and sleeping together without actually doing the deed is not normal. The above is definitely good advice here. Remember, know sex just means no sex. It does not mean you can't continue to turn her on and make that NO very painful for her. As a side note, I have encountered something like this before and it was with a girl who used to jump into bed with guys very quickly (first date) trying to mend her ways. She later told me that she would have slept with me on the first date as well, but that waiting until the fourth date was why she continued to see me. She was also nuts.
HeavenOrHell Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 What does 'make that NO very painful for her mean'? The above is definitely good advice here. Remember, know sex just means no sex. It does not mean you can't continue to turn her on and make that NO very painful for her. As a side note, I have encountered something like this before and it was with a girl who used to jump into bed with guys very quickly (first date) trying to mend her ways. She later told me that she would have slept with me on the first date as well, but that waiting until the fourth date was why she continued to see me. She was also nuts.
HeavenOrHell Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Of course there are reasons for sleeping in the same bed other than sex-just being with someone and cuddling up to them and getting to know them better! And yeah it's a psychological thing for us to resist and we do that sh*t all the time OP things will happen in their own time, have you kissed her and touched her all over? If she's not into it yet she'll just move your hand away until she is ready. Do you know how aroused or wet she is? Being wet doesn't necessarily mean she wants it yet but you're headed in the right direction If her reluctance to have sex with you was due to being "old fashioned, she wouldn't have gotten naked and pulled off your pants in the first place. Most likely, it was a case of last minute resistance. Women do that sh*t all the time. It's a psychological thing for them; if they don't at least pretend to resist, they feel slutty. The general rule of thumb is that you simply ignore what she said and continue to escalate. If she tells you again that she doesn't want to do it, then stop (you don't want to get accused of rape...) However, don't stay overnight in that situation. If you're not having sex, there is no reason to sleep together. The next time you sleep with her, definitely go for it. If, at this point, she continues to resist, there is definitely something wrong. Getting naked and sleeping together without actually doing the deed is not normal.
PinkInTheLimo Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Well, that's quite a double message she is giving you. One the one hand getting naked in front of you and pulling your pants off and then saying that she wants to take it slowly. ??? There is no way on earth that I would get naked in front of a guy and pull his pants off is I don't want to have sex with him. I would talk about his when the two of you are not making out/in bed and ask her what she expects from this contact. And in one go I would also talk about safe sex and birth control.
Feelsgoodman Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Of course there are reasons for sleeping in the same bed other than sex-just being with someone and cuddling up to them and getting to know them better! From a man's standpoint, getting blue balls, as another poster put it, is not exactly an enjoyable experience. In fact, it's extremely frustrating. A woman who gets naked and sleeps with a guy but withholds sex is, at best, selfish and immature, and at worst, doing it on purpose because she gets a kick out of it (yes, there are women like that). By the way, how exactly do you "get to know someone better" by getting naked with that person?? Just curious.
Author surfrider4284 Posted May 30, 2011 Author Posted May 30, 2011 I hear you guys..I was definitely expecting ot have sex when the clothes came off, but honestly, I was okay with not. Like I said, it's refreshing to find a girl who isn't going to screw every guy she goes out on a date or two with. It really has made my attachment to her grow and I definitely feel differently about her than I have girls in the past. I'm willing to wait until she's ready, I just didn't know if her not having sex with me yet was an indication she really wasn't into me..
Andy_K Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Like I said, it's refreshing to find a girl who isn't going to screw every guy she goes out on a date or two with. Did you consider that that the reason she wants to 'take it slow' is because she's moved very fast in the past? Did you consider that perhaps she's screwed every guy she's been on a date or two with except you? I don't mean to burst your bubble, but don't kid yourself that she must be a 'good girl' because of this.
John Michael Kane Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Did you consider that that the reason she wants to 'take it slow' is because she's moved very fast in the past? Did you consider that perhaps she's screwed every guy she's been on a date or two with except you? I don't mean to burst your bubble, but don't kid yourself that she must be a 'good girl' because of this. Exactly. Can't stand women who are "reformed sl*ts". They want to tramp around with a lot of guys then when they meet the nice guy who got something going for himself she wants to latch herself onto him and hold hands, demanding fidelity.
Feelsgoodman Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Did you consider that that the reason she wants to 'take it slow' is because she's moved very fast in the past? Did you consider that perhaps she's screwed every guy she's been on a date or two with except you? This is actually a very good point. I hate beating a dead horse, but the fact that she's willing to get naked and sleep together but not have sex is odd...If she was a stereotypical "good girl" who preferred to take things slow, she wouldn't be doing the whole "full speed ahead and then dead stop" thing, as another poster put it. The general rule of male-female interaction, regardless of how "good" or "bad" the female participant may be, is that once the clothes come off, something else comes in. Wanting to take it slow and getting naked are two irreconcilable positions.
Author surfrider4284 Posted May 30, 2011 Author Posted May 30, 2011 Did you consider that that the reason she wants to 'take it slow' is because she's moved very fast in the past? Did you consider that perhaps she's screwed every guy she's been on a date or two with except you? I don't mean to burst your bubble, but don't kid yourself that she must be a 'good girl' because of this. nah, I don't think thats the case. She was in a 5 year relationship that ended about 6 months ago.
justanothergirrl Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Another thought that hasn't been mentioned: Perhaps by saying she wanted to 'take it slow' she meant having slow sex (as opposed to hard/fast)? I know if I was already in bed naked with a guy, that's exactly what I would mean - & I have also said that before...
musemaj11 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Whats up with you guys who are so judgmental of women who are comfortable with their sexuality? I dont care if a woman has had sex with 1000 men as long as she is disease free and she has the personality that Im looking for.
TuffCookieX Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 She's into you. Definitely. I know it's confusing but again, this maybe how she ramps up to it. Having intercourse could feel extremely intimate to her (versus manual or oral). Before she goes there she just may want to be reassured you're not a Hit It Quit It guy. Who knows what's she's experienced in the past. Perhaps it happened to her before. I don't think pushing the issue the next date is a good idea unless you're in a hurry. Hit the nail on the head. I've done everything your girl as done, gotten really heated up, then gotten scared last minute that I would never hear from him again if I gave in. I have experienced men using me for that purpose and then pull a disappearing act, as well as wining and dining me for weeks, then STILL disappear. One guy even praised me for withholding sex the first few dates because he admitted he would have been totally turned off if I had let him have his way. I have been "trained" to not have sex until I know it's the right time for both of us. Otherwise, it ends it heart break every time. Remember, women feel a different binding hormone after sex which makes us feel emotionally connected to the man whereas men usually don't give a sh*t.
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