GG3 Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 I am a person who is initially shy and reserved when meeting new people. Once I get to know people, I am more myself. This is something that would be very hard for me to change. I used to be painfully shy altogether. I definitely attract people who are controlling or more aggressive than normal because I think they look for someone like me that they can push a little. Does anyone else have this problem? I'm trying to figure out what i can do to handle it better. The problem is, is that I usually don't realize what is happening right away. So it's hard for me to put up the good boundaries to start with so that this person isn't "getting in" or pushing me around. And of course with non-aggressive people, I don't have to watch for it so they aren't any problem. I'm asking this because I just started a new job. Everyone is great except the lead of the project is pushy about trying to spend time with me during my personal time and is very nosy about what I do in my personal time. I want to put some walls up. I'm not interested and I'm not going to run to HR to complain at a new job.
iJester Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 Bring up your boyfriend in some way. Even if you don't have one. Tell him you're just out of a relationship and you're not looking for anything now. Or, just keep declining his offers.
Author GG3 Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 I was thinking of doing that this week. I just started this job on Monday and he texted my phone yesterday morning asking to come along with me to do my errands and hang out on Sunday and Monday. (my 3 days off) Isn't that creepy and extremely aggressive?
TaraMaiden Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 It's completely inappropriate, and if you have a HR department, if it worries you, keep hold of all messages, communications and any form of written contact, in order to justify reporting it. However, you should respond that you ...."appreciate his attention, but past experience has taught you to NEVER fraternise or socialise with work colleagues, unless it's in a team-building concept. You keep your private and professional lives distinctly separate and never permit one to infringe on the other. You appreciate his attentiveness, but you are fine to just continue building a good sound professional relationship, and leave it at that. " If he steps over the line, take it further.
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