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Extremely new to dating and relationships.

Jagger341

By Jagger341
in Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being

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Jagger341 Member

Jagger341

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First, I think some info about me is needed. I'm 19 years old and been a high school graduate for about 2 years now. I was diagnosed with Autism at a very young age, but I am considered very high functioning. I currently live with my father, but I do plan on moving out in January. I have had no luck while trying to find a job ever since I graduated. No calls, no interviews, nothing. I've also been withdrawing Social Security Disability Income for quite some time now because of psychological reasons.

 

Now onto why I have no dating skills. I've only been in one relationship my whole life and it was during high school, but it went very horribly. The girl I was with at the time always made excuses as to why we could not spend time with each other anywhere but school. Because of this, we couldn't kiss or touch each other at all, which brings me to my next point. I have never kissed a female and I've barely ever felt the touch of one. I am a very shy person and I have no idea how to approach a woman in real life because I don't know what to say first. I also wouldn't know if any woman I'd approach would have a boyfriend or is married. I have also made a few accounts on free online dating sites, but I have no idea what I would say about myself or, like I said, how to approach women.

 

So as you see here, I have no experience with dating and relationships. If anyone can help me out, that would be great.

zlatnapolja Established Member

zlatnapolja

Posted
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Do you have any female friends? Or do any of your male friends have female friends? Just start with talking to girls, not necessarily with the idea of dating them, but just to get to know girls in general. Then you'll find out that we're not all that scarry;) Besides the best can come from great friendships;) just take it easy, it will happen.

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Jagger341 Member

Jagger341

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Thanks for the reply. I have no problems talking to women, but what I do have a problem with is asking any woman out on a date. I don't know what to say or what to do. I don't even know how to do it in online dating sites, either.

Afishwithabike Established Member

Afishwithabike

Posted
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I have a very close family member who has is on the autism spectrum and is high-functioning much like yourself so I'm very, very familiar with what it's like to have the disorder.

 

I'm guessing that because of your diagnosis you're not very good at interpreting nonverbal clues like facial expressions and body language. A huge part of dating and having an intimate relationship with someone is being able to read what people convey nonverbally. Our society often expects men to make the first move and in order to do so, you have to know if the woman is interested. Women give off clues by body language and eye contact, but you need to be able to detect those gestures.

 

There's a book that you could read or download to an iPad. It's called Autistics' Guide to Dating: A Book by Autistics, for Autistics and Those Who Love Them or Who Are in Love with Them by Emilia Murry Ramey. Here's the link to it on Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Autistics-Guide-Dating-Book-Those/dp/184310881X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1306655156&sr=8-1

 

Have you checked out YouTube videos? There are tons of of them put on my HFA and those with Asperger's. A lot of the videos give tips on how to approach people for dates. Here's a particularly good one.

Autism Dating: How to show a woman you're interested.

 

Here's a good blog post.

http://self-help-motivation.posterous.com/dating-and-aspergers-asking-someone-out-on-a

Teknoe Established Member

Teknoe

Posted
Posted
First, I think some info about me is needed. I'm 19 years old and been a high school graduate for about 2 years now. I was diagnosed with Autism at a very young age, but I am considered very high functioning. I currently live with my father, but I do plan on moving out in January. I have had no luck while trying to find a job ever since I graduated. No calls, no interviews, nothing. I've also been withdrawing Social Security Disability Income for quite some time now because of psychological reasons.

 

Now onto why I have no dating skills. I've only been in one relationship my whole life and it was during high school, but it went very horribly. The girl I was with at the time always made excuses as to why we could not spend time with each other anywhere but school. Because of this, we couldn't kiss or touch each other at all, which brings me to my next point. I have never kissed a female and I've barely ever felt the touch of one. I am a very shy person and I have no idea how to approach a woman in real life because I don't know what to say first. I also wouldn't know if any woman I'd approach would have a boyfriend or is married. I have also made a few accounts on free online dating sites, but I have no idea what I would say about myself or, like I said, how to approach women.

 

So as you see here, I have no experience with dating and relationships. If anyone can help me out, that would be great.

 

 

Really learn to genuinely love yourself, who God made you to be (in His eyes you are perfect) and love others.

 

My friend, you're going to be just fine :)

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