Tina747 Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 (edited) I recently went through a break up and started NC (No Contact) - and plan to maintain NC for at least 30 days in order to heal. Though, this is someone I would like to be friends with in the future and possibly getting back together but only after a period of NC since the pain of the breakup is still fresh. Note, he said he would also like to be friends and, so far, I believe him. Recently his Father fell very Ill. I sent one message to my Ex wishing his Father gets better. Is it cold for me to wait another month to follow up to see if my Ex is alright? Will he then not consider me someone who is a "friend" since I did not contact him again for a whole month? Or should I just let it be for now? Edited May 28, 2011 by Tina747
sinnister Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 IMHO, having had a similar situation, I was offended that she did care once right b/f..but didn't check up on me to avoid sending signals. If he dumped, then it would be okay as long as it wasn't too much r u'll appear ulterior. If you did the dumping, it's fine to check up more, but don't be surprised if he finds it as a signal of lingering affection. But if you're with someone more than 9 months, that's definitely something u have to do to even consider being friends, esp if you've met him.
WTRanger Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 You said your piece, now let it be. This is a very sticky situation, which leads to limbo for the both of you. The break up is still fresh, which means you haven't fixed any of the problems that caused the break up in the first place. So, his father is sick and you two get close again. But, since you haven't fixed anything, you start fighting and the stress builds and builds and builds until at the worst possible moment (say his father makes a turn for the worse) you two have a gigantic argument. Or he accuses you of using his father's sickness as a way back to him or you accuse him of doing the same to get some ex-sex. Flip the roles. If your parent was sick, would you want an ex in your life? Have the stress of a sick parent plus the limbo land of dealing with the "What are we" ex talk? I know it's tough. But it's best you stay out of it for now. Unless he comes to you, then you've just go to use your best judgement. Do what you feel is best for you and not for him, then deal with whatever happens.
Recommended Posts