bac Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 On the contrary' date=' I don't feel natural in bedroom with younger guys. I like a dominant man, someone I feel little to. Even if the young guys are dominant sexually, I don't feel it that way. I feel like I'm dealing with a "kid."[/quote'] It is true, If they have no muscles, they look like teens/kids in bedroom. But, if they have muscles, they look like real men. Anyway, older men sometimes look like grandfathers. So, if you are an older woman you have to choose between a kid and a grandfather because all better choices are probably unavailable.
Author OpenBook Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 Great food for thought!! Thanks to all for your excellent input. I just don't want to feel like a "freak of nature" for attracting and being attracted to (much) younger guys than my own age. They're just so... SWEET. :love::bunny:
D-Lish Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 Actually these days men who get with women over ten years his junior receive more negative perception then the opposite. What are you basing this statement on????
alphamale Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 I'm talking about older women dating younger men. What pops into your head when you see them in public or in a magazine? Do you assume they are easy targets (read: pathetic)? or are they smokin' hot? skanky? unnatural? predatory? Do you know any pairs like this IRL? What are they like to hang out with? Thoughts from all sides are welcome. Thanks. cougars are ok as long as they are decent looking
daphne Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 What planet are you living on??? I have to agree with her Easy. Is that not your experience on things?
kiss_andmakeup Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I think a "cougar" is an unfortunate caricature of a successful, independent, and sexually vital mature woman. I know of beautiful, successful, and independent mature women who have dated younger men. But I would not label them "cougars," as unfortunately that label brings to mind trashiness, desperation, and a certain chasing of lost youth. Generally I consider it an unflattering term. But I'm neither someone who would qualify as a cougar, nor someone who would be in their dating pool, so my opinion is probably moot.
D-Lish Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 So were we going to apply the same terms that label men who seek to date younger to women who seek to date younger also? to equalize things? "Geezer," "Pervo," "Creeper?" or were we going to stick with "Cougar?" Jury still out? Yes- we shall merge man+panthers and call them "Manthers":cool:
carhill Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 From another thread, the one about much older men being married to young women, consider the relationship and marriage of Clint Eastwood and Dina Ruiz, 80 and 45 respectively. They were 65 and 30 when they married. Now, reverse the genders, keeping the age difference the same. What's the difference? IMO, none. Two people who find synergy, intimacy and compatibility. EOS. Labels say more about labelers than about those whom they may seek to label.
musemaj11 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Great food for thought!! Thanks to all for your excellent input. I just don't want to feel like a "freak of nature" for attracting and being attracted to (much) younger guys than my own age. They're just so... SWEET. :love::bunny: Ya well, from the way you talk about younger men, its kind of creepish.
D-Lish Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Labels say more about labelers than about those whom they may seek to label. The worst label EVER is ma'am. With men, you can address a 20 year old or a 60 year old as sir, and it's not a big deal, because it's a blanket address for a male. For women, you have a choice of "Miss" or "Ma'am"... SO when someone calls you ma'am, you know they've sized you up, come to the conclusion that you are a bit old and decided to use the term "ma'am" over "miss"... As a woman, I am sensitive about my age- so the term "cougar" or "ma'am" makes me feel like I am old. Both terms offend me a whole lot. My worst day ever was when I got called ma'am twice, and then a guy 5 years younger than me on POF called me a cougar...
musemaj11 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 (edited) As a woman, I am sensitive about my age- so the term "cougar" or "ma'am" makes me feel like I am old. Both terms offend me a whole lot. My worst day ever was when I got called ma'am twice, and then a guy 5 years younger than me on POF called me a cougar... Then the issue is with you not the label itself. Why is it so hard for many women to accept that they are old? Whether someone lets you know that you are old or not, both you and that person know that you are old. People who say "Ma'am" merely intend to show respect toward you. I was brought up to say "Ma'am" to older women as a sign of respect. But as I discovered as I got older that in some cultures the women are so in denial of their age that they want people to pretend that they are 21 years old forever. Edited May 31, 2011 by musemaj11
carhill Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 FWIW, women young enough to be my daughter (or the reverse, old enough to be my mother, and everything in between) are addressed as 'ma'am' or 'miss' (I use the former if they wear a wedding ring) out of respect, presuming I don't know their proper name. Their perceptions of the respect I offer are outside of my control. I've never labeled a woman a 'cougar' in real life and only became familiar with the term on LS. I don't label women at all, not be confused with describing them by how they treat me
Titania22 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Then the issue is with you not the label itself. Why is it so hard for many women to accept that they are old? Whether someone lets you know that you are old or not, both you and that person know that you are old. People who say "Ma'am" merely intend to show respect toward you. I was brought up to say "Ma'am" to older women as a sign of respect. But as I discovered as I got older that in some cultures the women are so in denial of their age that they want people to pretend that they are 21 years old forever. Because I am not old. My grandmother is 96yrs old and still kicking on. So then at 38 I am still at least 10yrs away from my middle age, if I am old then by definition I will spend almost 2/3 of my life being old. That just doesn't make sense.
D-Lish Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Then the issue is with you not the label itself. Why is it so hard for many women to accept that they are old? Whether someone lets you know that you are old or not, both you and that person know that you are old. People who say "Ma'am" merely intend to show respect toward you. I was brought up to say "Ma'am" to older women as a sign of respect. But as I discovered as I got older that in some cultures the women are so in denial of their age that they want people to pretend that they are 21 years old forever. You don't get it... I am NOT old.... which is why the label is silly. I'm not 20- but I'm not 80 either. It is NOT a sign of respect to call someone ma'am- omfg, what world do you live in???????????? When you decide to call someone ma'am over miss, YOU are teling that person you think they are OLD. That's not respectful. Maybe you come from a different culture or something... I'm not married, I don't have kids, I am barely 40- I am not a ma'am. Addressing people with labels is not a sign of respect, it's incredibly insensitive and indicative of someone that doesn't "get it". You obviously don't "get it".
TheLawmaker Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 D-Lish, you are very attractive. 30 isn't old! Even 50 is young. I have no problem with cougars. I am of the view that love has no age. The only thing that bothers me is how cougars are treated, compared to guys who date younger women; the guys are called pedophiles, the cougars are called "sexually liberated." You don't see shows like SugarDaddy Town. Cougar Town, however, is a successful show starring Courtney Cox.
kiss_andmakeup Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 You don't get it... I am NOT old.... which is why the label is silly. I'm not 20- but I'm not 80 either. It is NOT a sign of respect to call someone ma'am- omfg, what world do you live in???????????? When you decide to call someone ma'am over miss, YOU are teling that person you think they are OLD. That's not respectful. Maybe you come from a different culture or something... I'm not married, I don't have kids, I am barely 40- I am not a ma'am. Addressing people with labels is not a sign of respect, it's incredibly insensitive and indicative of someone that doesn't "get it". You obviously don't "get it". D-Lish, don't feel bad! I'm only 23 and I get called "ma'am" all the time! It drives me up the wall; I'm clearly a "miss!" I think the guys who say it really truly are just clueless.
Titania22 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I hope you ladies never have to spend any time in the South. We start calling women "ma'am" at six here. The american south was the first thing I thought when ma'am was mentioned. Like I should be wearing flowery sun dresses, and large rimmed bonnets, and offering people a nice glass of lemonade (american lemonade) on a hot day.
Titania22 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Would you be a peach and bring me a pitcher of your mint julep instead? Being Australian I have absolutely no idea what that is, sorry. (I know what mint is, but what's a julep?)
musemaj11 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 You don't get it... I am NOT old.... which is why the label is silly. I'm not 20- but I'm not 80 either. It is NOT a sign of respect to call someone ma'am- omfg, what world do you live in???????????? When you decide to call someone ma'am over miss, YOU are teling that person you think they are OLD. That's not respectful. Maybe you come from a different culture or something... I'm not married, I don't have kids, I am barely 40- I am not a ma'am. Addressing people with labels is not a sign of respect, it's incredibly insensitive and indicative of someone that doesn't "get it". You obviously don't "get it". Wow, you must have so much issue dealing with age to feel so enraged over something like being called "Ma'am".
Titania22 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I had to google Georgia O'Keeffe and then I remembered "Oh yeah Ms. vagina flowers." Thankyou, I googled her, and I still wasn't understanding how she was relevant. Come to think of it how are "vagina flowers" relevant? I feel so lost sometimes.
Titania22 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 iirc she painted some flowers which looked suspiciously like vaginas. I did get that much. I meant, 'the south', 'mint juleps' and 'Georgia'.
Titania22 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Well O'Keefe does sound suspiciously like queef. She painted vagina resembling flowers which we already addressed. Georgia is her first name and it is a state in The South. Mint julep is a favorite drink of The South. We are in this thread talking about women so old I would be surprised if they weren't farting dust from their vaginas. Flowers emit pollen which is like dust. It is beginning to come into focus according to my judgment. Ok ok, i get it. Geez. Don't you think the bolded was a little over the top though. I am nowhere near menopause.
Titania22 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I was feeding into the insecurities over aging some ladies seem to be suffering for comedic effect. Though it is that insecurity which leads to cougaring in the first place. I'm not talking about a couple dates with younger guys but exclusively going for younger men. And I suppose it has absolutely nothing to do with them having much hotter bodies.
TheLawmaker Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 And younger girls have hotter bodies. Your point? I think it's an essence of maturity. Some of these cougars are immature, and therefore want to relive their 20's. Since girls mature much faster than men, it's suffice to say that 40 year old women who chase after 20 year old boys probably have some sort of mental repression going on. I am not saying that all cougars are like this. And the poster who mentioned the 20 year difference in her dating life, probably isn't like this. But most cougars are probably like this.
Titania22 Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Oh so you're one of the cougars. I have seen hot bodies on older and younger men. I have seen men who have let themselves go who were younger or older. I have seen many women who didn't really care. I have seen that these cougars prefer not just young men, but male model types to validate their own beauty and the youthfulness of their visage. Personally I don't feel that for me it is about validating my beauty. See in every area of my life I don't make any effort to be seen a certain in society. I simply don't care what people think, I don't pretend to have money i don't have, I don't pretend to care about anyone or thing when I don't care (I.e. if i care i show it, and otherwise i don't), I don't even pull the weeds out at the front of my house. I put energy into that which I care about and that's it. As far as people and sex are concerned, I like eyecandy (I like other characteristics too), if i am going to touch your naked sweaty body, I want it to feel good (so I am not going to touch a dumpy looking 20yr old), and it's gotta look good enough to make me want to touch it. (From my threads it is known I like skinny geek guys (not muscly gym guys). And yes there are other factors of why i would prefer a really young guy over an older guy, and I am sure there is insecurity in that, but its not from my looks, it's more rape insecurity.
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