Castillo Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Was out last night with colleagues from work down the pub. Also there was this very beautiful colleague where there does seem to be some chemistry between us. She does appear to have a nice, caring personality, but she is very much aware how beautiful she is - so much so that I see female colleagues in awe of her beauty and praising her to the hilt about it. Yesterday evening in the pub I was shown a photo of her by a female colleague whilst the beautiful girl was next to me. The female colleague asked if I agreed with her that this girl looked beautiful in the photo to which I dodged the question. The beautiful girl & I ended up walking to the tube station together. She was telling me that the other night she got followed on the walk home from the station and how it freaked her out. With this in mind, when I got home, I decided to send her a message on FB asking if she got home ok as I don't have her number. But I'm not a friend on FB with her either and just sent a message and didn't friend request her. She responded thanking me for asking & told me she got home ok. I am interested in her, but I get the feeling that she likes a guy who's a challenge, so I've never commented on her looks like all the other guys do and I do tease her somewhat. I feel that with this girl there must be some mystery, intrigue & challenge from a guy to stand out from the rest so just asking her out is not going to cut it. So to continue the mystery & intrigue I've been gentlemanly in FB messaging her to ask her if she got home ok, but I will not FB friend request her as this is a lame tactic that all the other guys will do. I'm hoping she will be wondering why I have not FB friend requested her to keep up the intrigue. I know this is game playing, but what do you guys think? Am I playing this right?
utterer of lies Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 I'm hoping she will be wondering why I have not FB friend requested her to keep up the intrigue. I know this is game playing, but what do you guys think? Am I playing this right? You are assuming she puts as much thought into you as you into her. She most likely won't even notice that you didn't friend her.
sanskrit Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Ask her out for a drink or a walk. If you get good signs there, then ask for another date. If she wants to go with you, she will say yes, if she doesn't, she will say no. Anything else is the path to madness and distraction.
Author Castillo Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 You are assuming she puts as much thought into you as you into her. She most likely won't even notice that you didn't friend her. I disagree. Look at a previous post at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t241714/ for more info. Long story short. A guy in my department had a oneism with her and she saw him as no more than a friend. He was aware of me talking & flirting and this caused a lot of problems with my professional relationship with him. So to avoid professional work problems I withdrew & pretty much ignored her. This guy has recently got over his oneism with her and is going out with another girl at work which clears the path for me to have a go :-) And before you ask - no I don't have a oneism with her and I'm pursuing others as well.
Shaun-Dro Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Was out last night with colleagues from work down the pub. Also there was this very beautiful colleague where there does seem to be some chemistry between us. She does appear to have a nice, caring personality, but she is very much aware how beautiful she is - so much so that I see female colleagues in awe of her beauty and praising her to the hilt about it. Yesterday evening in the pub I was shown a photo of her by a female colleague whilst the beautiful girl was next to me. The female colleague asked if I agreed with her that this girl looked beautiful in the photo to which I dodged the question. The beautiful girl & I ended up walking to the tube station together. She was telling me that the other night she got followed on the walk home from the station and how it freaked her out. With this in mind, when I got home, I decided to send her a message on FB asking if she got home ok as I don't have her number. But I'm not a friend on FB with her either and just sent a message and didn't friend request her. She responded thanking me for asking & told me she got home ok. I am interested in her, but I get the feeling that she likes a guy who's a challenge, so I've never commented on her looks like all the other guys do and I do tease her somewhat. I feel that with this girl there must be some mystery, intrigue & challenge from a guy to stand out from the rest so just asking her out is not going to cut it. So to continue the mystery & intrigue I've been gentlemanly in FB messaging her to ask her if she got home ok, but I will not FB friend request her as this is a lame tactic that all the other guys will do. I'm hoping she will be wondering why I have not FB friend requested her to keep up the intrigue. I know this is game playing, but what do you guys think? Am I playing this right? When you say "beautiful girl at work" does that mean you work with her or just that she's at the same job as you? If so, all you need to do is just go talk to her at work, then ask her out for a drink afterwards. No need to do this silly game you're trying to do, because trust me, she probably doesn't notice it, won't care, and it'll get you nowhere.
cerridwen Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 I am interested in her, but I get the feeling that she likes a guy who's a challenge, so I've never commented on her looks like all the other guys do and I do tease her somewhat. I feel that with this girl there must be some mystery, intrigue & challenge from a guy to stand out from the rest so just asking her out is not going to cut it. So to continue the mystery & intrigue I've been gentlemanly in FB messaging her to ask her if she got home ok, but I will not FB friend request her as this is a lame tactic that all the other guys will do. I'm hoping she will be wondering why I have not FB friend requested her to keep up the intrigue. I know this is game playing, but what do you guys think? Am I playing this right? I know women like this and I think you're doing exactly what's right. They're use to attention. They're use to guys pursuing, complimenting, fawning. At the minimum, they're use to acknowledgment of their superior looks. If you refrain from what's typical, it gets her attention. You don't have to be a dick. But, you CAN be reserved early on and it might pique her interest.
Author Castillo Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 (edited) I know women like this and I think you're doing exactly what's right. They're use to attention. They're use to guys pursuing, complimenting, fawning. At the minimum, they're use to acknowledgment of their superior looks. If you refrain from what's typical, it gets her attention. You don't have to be a dick. But, you CAN be reserved early on and it might pique her interest. Yes, I've seen this with other peoples interactions with her - they put her on a pedastal so high. I'm watching to see if it's gone to her head or not - if it has then it'll be a turn off for me. Although it must be hard for it not to go to your head! A couple of things to add is I was temporarily working at a desk next to her for a few days and I received a phone call from a female friend of mine asking me out for a drink at the weekend. I've been to a lapdancing club with this friend and I deliberately joked with her that we're not going to end up at a lapdancing club again knowing full well that the beautiful girl is listening. Well a week later the oneism guy in my department tells us he went to the lapdancing club with her. Coincidence or what?! I was then telling a group of people including the beautiful girl about a true story that morning on the train journey into work how a girl looked at me, smiled and then tripped over Overall the impression I'm subletly trying to create is that I'm a guy whose quietly confident (not cocky) with plenty of options, doesn't have to chase girls and capable of having a raunchy wild time and has the power other guys don't have in turning down a girl whose offering to go to a lapdancing club with him. Edited May 28, 2011 by Castillo xcfcx
TokyoG33kyGal Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 She was telling me that the other night she got followed on the walk home from the station and how it freaked her out. i think she was trying to tell you that you should walk her home
Shaun-Dro Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 Yes, I've seen this with other peoples interactions with her - they put her on a pedastal so high. I'm watching to see if it's gone to her head or not - if it has then it'll be a turn off for me. Although it must be hard for it not to go to your head! A couple of things to add is I was temporarily working at a desk next to her for a few days and I received a phone call from a female friend of mine asking me out for a drink at the weekend. I've been to a lapdancing club with this friend and I deliberately joked with her that we're not going to end up at a lapdancing club again knowing full well that the beautiful girl is listening. Well a week later the oneism guy in my department tells us he went to the lapdancing club with her. Coincidence or what?! I was then telling a group of people including the beautiful girl about a true story that morning on the train journey into work how a girl looked at me, smiled and then tripped over Overall the impression I'm subletly trying to create is that I'm a guy whose quietly confident (not cocky) with plenty of options, doesn't have to chase girls and capable of having a raunchy wild time and has the power other guys don't have in turning down a girl whose offering to go to a lapdancing club with him. Your actions are way too deliberate. All you have to do is talk with her without the staring and compliments that other suckers resort to. You'll be fine with just that if she's interested. This thing you're doing is not going to work, I guarantee you, because you are not showing direct interest in this dame. I cant wait until you come on here with the bad news that she's either taken, not interested, or wasn't the girl you thought she was; that is if you bother to return with honesty.
Fondue Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 I just want you to ask yourself: Do you really want to pursue a girl whom you work with? Think about it, what if things don't go well. She rejects you. Then what? How awkward will it be afterward, when you see each other on a daily basis? Or what if it goes well, you date her a bit, but you get friendzoned after? Or breakup? Yah, **** will suck. I would never attempt to date a girl from work. Hell, I don't even hang out with my workmates outside the job. I get asked or hinted at from time to time to do so, but I just ignore it or simply say "no, I keep my work life and private life separate."
Author Castillo Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 (edited) I just want you to ask yourself: Do you really want to pursue a girl whom you work with? Think about it, what if things don't go well. She rejects you. Then what? How awkward will it be afterward, when you see each other on a daily basis? Or what if it goes well, you date her a bit, but you get friendzoned after? Or breakup? Yah, **** will suck. I would never attempt to date a girl from work. Hell, I don't even hang out with my workmates outside the job. I get asked or hinted at from time to time to do so, but I just ignore it or simply say "no, I keep my work life and private life separate." Ok, well firstly I will not be formally asking her out - so I will not be rejected by her. I'm just going to see how things progress. There does appear to be chemistry and lots of long eye contact when we're alone. There will be more trips down to the pub after work so I can see if her interest level increases or decreases without any real risk. I will not be friendzoned, if I see it coming then I will just back off before it happens. Breakup - yes I agree that is a tough one with workmates - even if you work in different departments, which we do - and not a position I would want to be in. However, I will say I do not consider the job I'm in right now as a career job. The place where I work is a very safe job whilst the economy is messed up, but it doesn't pay competitive rates so I'll be leaving as soon as the ecomony picks up again. If I was in career job with competitive rates of pay that I saw a future with then I certainly wouldn't be even considering this. Thinking about it, it is the challenge and an experiment with this girl that interests me. If I pull it off then it's one hell of an ego boost for me - which I feel is a good thing. Edited May 29, 2011 by Castillo cds
stepka Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 You know, the trouble with beautiful women is that often men assume that they know they're quite beautiful and do exactly what you're doing by holding back, and this leaves her wondering why all the other women are telling her she's so gorgeous but no man is asking her out and she could be quite confused about that. Yeah, keep doing what you're doing but don't draw it out too long--if it's possible, just treat her like any other woman that you're attracted to and ask her out the same way and on the same time schedule. Beautiful women are not goddesses, or at least you don't want the kind who expects to be treated like one. Also, I'm not one to agree that you should never date a co-worker unless it's someone that you work closely with, but that still leaves a lot of possibilities.
cerridwen Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 I was then telling a group of people including the beautiful girl about a true story that morning on the train journey into work how a girl looked at me, smiled and then tripped over Overall the impression I'm subletly trying to create is that I'm a guy whose quietly confident (not cocky) with plenty of options, doesn't have to chase girls and capable of having a raunchy wild time and has the power other guys don't have in turning down a girl whose offering to go to a lap dancing club with him. I hear you. But, start pulling back on this now. Not saying do the opposite, just don't keep doing it. Because unless she's an idiot, she'll see through it. You'll come across as trying too hard, just in a different way. Does that make sense?
Dust Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 When asked if the girl looked good in the photo I would have answered loudly “yes she does look good in that photo, I’m also really enjoying her in person tonight.” You should have offered to walk her home when she told you that story about being scared. Said something like “Can I walk you home, I want to make sure you get there fine.” She would have surely invited you in if she accepted and that would have got you some kiss’s probably more. If she had said “No” you then should have asked for her number with the stated purpose of being able to make sure she gets home olright. Girls do like a challenge. The thing is some of the most challenging men are bold and up front aggressive about going after the things they want. If you grab a girl and give her a kiss she’ll not soon forget because that’s what you felt like doing that doesn’t make you less of a mystery or a challenge. In fact sending a lame facebook msg when you have access to her in person lonely makes you seem boring and less of a challenge.
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