P&R Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 I need help on this issue... I'm a virgin and so is my girlfriend. We're both in our 20s and health class in high school is way to far back to remember. Things are getting very heated, we're taking are clothes off infront of each other, and having what could be considered dry sex. I feel it's time that I had the talk with her. If I don't I feel it's only a matter of time before our hormones get the best of us. The thing I was wondering is what would be best for us? If we had sex it wouldn't be on a regular basis because we both live at our parents house and we only usually see each other two times a week. I want to use at least 2 forms of birth control, if not 3 because I do NOT want a kid. A condem will definitely be a must but what about for her? I'm thinking that taking the pill every day would not be very cost effective due to the fact we're not going to be having sex very often. What are some good alternatives to the pill?
TaraMaiden Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 The word "no" is usually the most definitive form.... Try the diaphragm together with condoms, or a coil, but these, in one so young, can create problems.... it can lead to far heavier periods, for a start....
oaks Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 The thing I was wondering is what would be best for us? The best thing would be to get advice from a healthcare professional. You might get good advice in this forum, but we're a bunch of strangers and you can't check our qualifications! That aside, my suggestions are: discuss it with her, including your desire to not be a father at the momentyou mentioned cost effectiveness - so find out if any healthcare / health insurance plans that either of you have will cover the cost of any birth control. (although birth control is cheap compared with the cost of the alternative!)
TaraMaiden Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 That's a far better, and much more considered reply, than mine. Go with it.
carhill Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 In the interim, be very careful with 'dry' sex if you're naked. In fact, until birth control has been talked about and implemented, I'd refrain from 'nakedness' entirely. It's too much of a slippery slope, no pun intended. Health care professional is a great place to start. I'd recommend a condom, diaphragm, and use of spermicide. I can tell you that spermicide gave me a urethra burn I won't soon forget. YMMV on that one. Have that 'talk' the next time you see her in person, with her clothes on
sanskrit Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 During her period with a condom is one option. Don't do that for the first time though.
sanskrit Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 It's too much of a slippery slope, no pun intended. Take mind of that OP... ... I got an old GF pregnant from phone sex back in the 90s. At first I thought she was cheating on me because we had been traveling apart for many months, but she said she read a study that sperm can travel over phone lines. Not cellphones of course, that would be silly.
Author P&R Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 I've never had dry sex with her COMPLETELY naked. Usually it's when she has jeans on but point taken. Is the morning after pill a viable alternative? Since we wouldn't be having sex regularly, could this be good until one of us decided to move out?
oaks Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 Is the morning after pill a viable alternative? Since we wouldn't be having sex regularly, could this be good until one of us decided to move out? Last time I read about this is was clearly intended as an 'emergency' form of contraception rather than something to plan to use. (Eg, something that might work if a condom split the night before.) Definitely worth finding out about it (from a professional!) but unless the guidance has changed I don't think it should be your primary plan for contraception.
Tybalt Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 No. The morning after pill is an overdose of birth control pills and is very hard on the body. It should only be used in the case of a failure in another method. Condoms are quite effective. She could also use a spermicidal foam or similar method, but know that this can irritate either partner, depending on their individual sensitivity. I agree that it would be best for you both to visit a healthcare professional to determine the best combination.
oaks Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 If you're prepared to believe things you read on the Internet, you could do much worse than visit the Planned Parenthood site. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/ Or if you really trust Loveshack to stop you from becoming a father (!!) , don't forget that you've posted this in the Dating forum and there's actually a Sexual & Reproductive Health and Practices forum that might be a better place to get answers.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 (edited) As a female, I have never had sex with anyone not wearing a condom. I don't really trust anyone and am too scared to risk catching anything. Edited May 29, 2011 by Eternal Sunshine
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 I can't find someone I trust because I trust no one. I am aware that some diseases can be transmitted even with a condom, but there are MANY that can't. So I stand by my point.
oaks Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 That raises a good point in general. P&R, if your high school education on birth control is a distant memory then you (and your partner) may also need a refresher on STDs as well. The same healthcare professional you talk to about birth control will be able to give you current information about this (although, again, the Planned Parenthood website has some reading material).
iJester Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 If you didn't take such an absolutist stance, you would have a point. As it is now, your argument does not hold water. Practically, it makes sense. Your thought process is what irks me. Either way, I'm glad you're not procreating.
Survivor12 Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 Condoms alone are enough....... Not always. I have a son as well as a grandson to prove it. Where I am, the local "free" clinic (it isn't really free, but is income based & is affordable) offers the shot very inexpensively.
sanskrit Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 As a female, I have never had sex with anyone not wearing a condom. Just so ya know, that will become a definite sticking point for many men after a certain amount of exclusivity. Would be an absolute deal-breaker for many.
milkmaterial Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 you dont want a kid right, and she is inexperienced, birth control pills you really need to take them properly and with strict discipline (avoid vomiting as it can cause nausea, use backup method if you have diarrhea or vomiting, avoid other medications that might lessen the efficacy of the pill, take it on the same time of the day every day without fail, etc) in any case i strongly suggest that you should just double bag it, always buy the newest condom at the store. buy several and practice putting it on. if she misses a dose of her pill you will most definitely have a child. i wouldn't suggest putting your future in someone else's hands.
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