I need to break up with him, terrified to do so?

[sinnister]

It does look like she's reaching..to take points away from the steady bf and give them to the new crush. It's a horrible dynamic played out too long...you r expected to lead as a man...not domineering but trying to facilitate the growth of the r/s...n you're then resented for being controlling. If you're broke and maximizing support/morale/fun...you're left/devalued for being "unmotivated" lol. He's volunteered to take on the student loans...I would've done the same...although I wouldn't care how much you've racked up. It's an investment into the marriage that I'd hope you'll succeed with. Unfortunately, and the same in mine once another man was in the picture...she is now acting/feeling like a "kept" woman. I was guilt-ed for the spare hobbies I had...and money I would put into whatever, but I wasn't cheap with the misses. He could be..and I know those types...my exe's dad was that type n it caused resentment from the whole fam..so they do exist..which is why I can't completely call it a reach. The "crush" however, makes this nearly impossible to have a break set up..unless the current SO doesn't know about it..never does...or could..cause when he does, it blows up like Iwo Jima. And when it blows up..she's going to go to the other guy for comfort anyway. I think the SO deserves a break...but the truth will probably make it a break up or at least a bottoming out of trust/respect.

 

Just chalk it up to youth and walk...get your head clear and don't date this new guy for a few months. Learn to be comfortable alone, b/c r/s's are about helping the other party. Sometimes we consider advice/offer of support/planning as talking down to us/demeaning/babying....those people r not ready for a r/s. If she's not, you can't force her, or his flaws will continue to be magnified...the nagging is more intense and they leave on horrible terms b/c of cheating or constant arguments. There's no easy way to do it..so might as well set up a long lunch and get it done. Find another place to go back to, unless ure live-ins and it'll get complicated. You're at least being honest b/f u cheat. Good luck to you and enjoy your youth...you'll find you've taken him for granted one day...hopefully he's there when you see that...but at least you're not leaving completely hating/devaluing him.