jamster Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Hi all early 30s,m 9yr,2 kids, w had ea,pa for approx 6 months bust open by me,caught red handed! i told om w only contact re kids,finances,i try my best to keep to bare minimum,i am organised,she isnt,same as in marriage. Over next few weeks,we will be together at kids sporting events,football presentation night etc.I was wanting advice on how to handle these situations.I was prepared to talk with her about the whole mess.She isnt,i accept this and am awaiting d etc,but it is going to feel weird at these events and future stuff.We live in a small village and every one knows each others business. I know she wants me on a piece of string and to be friendly,but I am not playing games any more. I would rather not be in these situations,but I am not sacrificing these things,as I have always been the one to take my son to such events and dont see why it should change because she is a an adulteress.
lostinilm Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Hey, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. This is all I can say. Don't make the kids suffer. They love you both equally and you both love them equally. At some point the two of you loved each other (probably still do) and although I'm not saying forgive and forget (believe me, its probably impossible) think about the good things with your wife and try to build off that. Going into destruction mode (whether self or otherwise) won't do anyone any good. I feel for you, I've been on both sides of the coin and know exactly what you're going through.
Author jamster Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 They love you both equally and you both love them equally. Probably true,but hard to believe when she abandoned me,kids I know she is creating a recipe for a sad,lonely life,but shes a big girl now. So even though it still hurts,she must be allowed to get on with it.
coolheadal Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 Even though I got one that I am going on with right now, But these women don't care! They only do what they want! I believe whoever had raised them is the problem never teaching them about values of having a relationship with a man how to stay in that marriage. I will not go after any type of this sort of women again. They should want the same things you want. You have two kids your kids will be broken-up by this I've seen my brother-in-law wife had left him for another man she told me she was happy. But she's not a good mother either. Nor is the brother-in-law a good dad. They don't have a clue how to treat their kids or leave you with your kids or either way. Just have to stand strong and work it out and do your best by your kids.
Author jamster Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 your kids will be broken up by this They have literally been broken up,1 with me 1 with her. I do all in my power to get the kids together as often as possible. Obviously these waw don't care,seem to be living in the moment. I have warned her that her actions will affect the kids when they grow up,but obviously with her utter selfishness she doesn't see this!
coolheadal Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 They have literally been broken up,1 with me 1 with her. I do all in my power to get the kids together as often as possible. Obviously these waw don't care,seem to be living in the moment. I have warned her that her actions will affect the kids when they grow up,but obviously with her utter selfishness she doesn't see this! Yes it will mess them up. My nephew and niece told me they had wanted both parents would go back to each other but it was too late. So today they visit the dad ever other Saturday. He not a good dad too nor is their mother so they get dumped at my mother-in-laws wacko house. But they're all mess-up in the head. I call them dysfunctional not much I can do for them except be a good uncle. Now that my marriage is almost gone down the river end I won't be there to watch them grow into adults to be someone or they might end up like their mother trashy. I was there when the niece was born in the hospital and the other niece too. I'll miss those two as they were the best out of the bunch with matters and good behavior.
Author jamster Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 I see the 1 that's not living at home almost every day. I am being business like about things,but its hard when the w calls me to complain if the kids are fighting etc.Why call me! I have just said when they are with her its her job to deal with things and vice versa. She seems to happiest when out with her girl friends,as if family life has been trivial,she had the best of both worlds,but she still f***** up.
Author jamster Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 I am having problems dealing with om, thing is he was a friend and lives close by. I cant get it out of my head that he entered my home where my child was, I know he was "invited in"! But I feel like it needs addressed,it is even harder because I see him at times,with living close by. I have kept my cool so far,but its a massive injustice to me. My child was in the house when I bust the affair open! and this is the thing that wont go away for me,he had no choice.Om kids dont know a thing, he simply went back to his joke of a marriage and I have had a hell of a lot to deal with,finances,custody etc etc I know my marriage is over,I am getting on with MY life,but this is holding me back. I know no good will come of anything I do towards him, but its the fact he entered my home,my sons private space,it just drives me nuts at times
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