Author sun_moon Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 Thanks everyone .... Um yeah I guess I will contact him tomorrow, not home yet. And he called again ....
EgoJoe Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 Sun_moon, call him back. You could be free of this tonight. Make arrangements for payment without meeting. Explain to him that you just can't do it in person, you can even make an excuse if you like. Get it over with. Pete, back me up.
PelicanPete Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 Just saw your request, I'll look them up fo sho Yes sun, call him back please and get it over with. Untuck your metaphoric balls and put em to it.
Author sun_moon Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 But it's so late in the evening it's past midnight I don't want him to think Im waiting for his calls because I'm not. Seriously calling bout the money 3 times, one call past midnight? I can't pull the trigger! I have a 17 hour drive Tom.... Can't I just text him tomorrow am?
PelicanPete Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 He called you three times through out the evening, he's probably wanting to get it over with as well. You aren't going to get any sleep tonight worrying about it anyway so just call him and get it over with please. It's hard to see whats going on when your in the thick of it but trust us, I dealt with the same crap you did. BTW egojoe that was a good song , i'll have to listen to more of them. Thanks
EgoJoe Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 Pete: Yeah they are great. Sun_moon: Please take care of this ASAP. I want you to get better. I'm still stuck myself...but...I am seeing more clearly.
Author sun_moon Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 Um yeah I went to bed. So now I'm really anxious I guess I will text him but I don't know what to say?
Author sun_moon Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 So I sent a text: hey what's up? Ofcourse NO REPONSE but its only been a couple of hours lol This is why I didn't want to do this but when I get my money, if he EVER calls me again after that I know i can eliminate " paying off old debts and tying loose ends up" as a reason for contact.
Author sun_moon Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 6 hours later, nothing still, why would he contact me and then not bother to respond after I respond back? I just sent this: So you called me yesterday, you told me you would when you had the money ready, do you have it? Let me know. thanks I'm leaving it alone after this.
Author sun_moon Posted May 30, 2011 Author Posted May 30, 2011 UPDATE: So I built up enough anger by the end of yesterday that I began to curse him in my mind, as I was messaging my friend yesterday venting, I got a request text from him to talk for a few minutes, he sent another text saying I wanted to thank you. When I read that, I immediately began to get angry and defensive, I'm thinking, that ass Better not say something tacky like thanks for the b/u bc I got to meet her etc etc.... ....so we talked, my gaurd was up, and i tried my best to be unemotional. I have to admit, the conv lasted longer than a few minutes but less than 30 min, I'm glad that he fist attack me or try to make mr feel bad, he was civil. Ex and I exchanged hellos the first few minutes Me: thank me for? Ex: I'm going to get my associates degree this summer and I attribute alot of that to you, I wanted to let you know and thank you. Me: no you really don't, it was all you, I cant take credit for that, you put yourself back in school, you decided, you pulled the trigger.... Ex: no I owe alot of it to you and you can't Change that, you were a big reason Me: congrats, I still don't think so, you obviously want it for yourself, so good job, bc your still going so what's up I was busy last night saw your calls this morning, I know you said you would reach me when you had the money, is that what is about? Ex: well I've been trying to reach you for a while for bout 2 weeks, with no luck, I started to think you were ignoring me Me: 2 weeks? The first calls I got were last night, don't recall anything before Ex: I tried a week before that (he did I ignored it) Me: didn't you make it clear to me the last time we talked that you NEVER want to hear from me again and to leave you alone? And I agreed? Actually I am quite surprised by your demeanor now vs then?!!! Ex: well I was very very angry, very Me: well you know I'm a matter of fact person and literal, so when you say you don't want to talk anymore, that's what it means, I'm not gonna assume your angry and ignore it , besides I agreed it was best. Ex: no response. Me: your very different now?? Shocking actually besides I saw right thru you, you kept telling me how happy and fine you are, but I knew you were angry.... Ex: well you know that I want to check on you, I want to see how your doing, like I said I would ( I don't recall that BS) Me: I'm fine Ex: well yeah I will get you the money when I'm back in town, I'm out of town right now Me: that's fine so am I Ex: I will be transfering to a college soon i've been busy interviewing and trying to get scholarships Me: good ..he proceeded to tell me bout diff local options, one that is farther away in same state that hes not too crazy about... Me: you never know, I know you wanted to take your best option and you knew relocating was a possiblity, it maybe the best decision you ever make. Ex: yeah I don't know yet He kept asking me how I was, what was going on, etc I really didn't divulge much Ex: so ( in a joking tone) have you Been hitting the clubs yet, you clubbing yet? Me: does it matter I am or not ? Ex: well no but I was making small talk Me: it doesn't matter Ex: what else is going on? I asked bout his cats and dog, he finally got rid of his dog. Ex: i told you that dog was gonna be gone soon Me: yeah like one year later lol He kept asking me how I was doing, what I'm up to, any changes... Etc I was vague I'm fine I finally ended it, knowing I let the conv carry on much longer than it should have Me: well I better get back to my group, please leave me a vm or text when you are ready with the money, clear communication would be nice please. Ex: oh um ok, I will, just wanted to thank you again, and see how your doing, you fine,bc it didnt sound convincing? Me: again you cant give me credit for that, it's all you, you did put me thru hell during the process, so if you want to give me credit for that, I will accept that much. Lol Me: oh I'm fine, I can't speak loudly I'm in a public place, ok well bye. Ex: talk to you soon. So he called me a last last Friday night then Saturday night and we finally talked Sunday night, not so happy with his "girlfriend" ???? What's up with that? No I don't want him back, in case your wondering, it's hard enough knowing he's with someone or was or... I don't know I made sure I didn't ask. What is going on through his head and feelings? I realize I'm still obsessing, it's because I still love him, this is so hard.
EgoJoe Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Seems like you did good and yeah you probably did let it carry on too long. Good job asking for clear communication. Now you're done.
Author sun_moon Posted May 30, 2011 Author Posted May 30, 2011 I do feel better especially since he sounded sincere, but I still dont have my money. I am glad he's not angry and lashing out at me anymore. My gut was right, he didnt call for the money. I guess he called because he had a "moment", except he's called more than a few times. I dont know, its all breadcrumbs in the end I'm still trying to cope, trying to let go of our memories. and now I'm just sad and lonely.
EgoJoe Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Not everything is breadcrumbs. But, they could have been. You know the truth or atleast have an idea. Read my thread, haha. I'm proud of you Sun_moon.
Desensitized Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 I say you handled it exceptionally! Good job, sun_moon
sinnister Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 (edited) I've had exes just thank me for irrelevant things...and it always led to something else, not that I let it complete. If he's over you, the gf would've never came in the pic, esp on such a casual but business call. Thanks for the play-by-play as it was hard to assess the rest...bu t he def wants you as more than a friend. He may need cool down b/f any r/s..but he sounds like the weak sort that can't be alone. Sucks when we love those types, eh? Good luck, n thx for the help/insight u provide round here. Edited May 30, 2011 by sinnister
Author sun_moon Posted May 31, 2011 Author Posted May 31, 2011 Hey guys, Thanks for the feedback, it uplifted me a bit. Yeah, he knows how important education is to me, and I know he's very proud of his progress and has no one to tell, he loved to share his accomplishments with me, I think he was alone with his thoughts and it led to calling me...I dont know. I havent slept well the past couple of days, its affecting my mood and healing. Yeah sinnister, you are right, he is freaking week. He ran to another woman within one month (maybe less) after our break up of two years. He cant be alone in his depression, loneliness, anguish, he had to freaking go find someone to fill his time and distract him.
Recommended Posts