bikinibeach Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 it made me sooooooo mad. So mad! the thought of EVER talking to or giving this clown another chance makes me feel PHYSICALLY ILL and that's not an exxageration. the email was long and sappy talking about our relationship and what he loved about me. then, he ended it with this: "After crying an hour of hot tears over my keyboard, I think I've gotten it all out. I keep thinking, things might have been different if we'd met in 6 months or a year from now. We should. We should meet then and see if anything's different. M----'s thinking of moving to H----, and I didn't know how to tell her that part of me wished she would, even if only for a while. I miss you already, but I guess that's part of the deal. Love," What a spineless coward. should i forward it to her??? should i let him know that there is NO CHANCE IN HELL WE WILL EVER EVER EVER EVER get back together ESPECIALLY when the reason why is only because his ex decided to move...!!!!???? good GRIEF!! i really want to twist the knife but.... i think again, the best thing to do would be to not reply. thoughts?
2sunny Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 tell him to move right along with her. no need to stay and wait for you to change your mind. besides she is his bigger priority anyway. that's what i'd say.
Lilmisus Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 I'd respond with: Thank you for that extremely heartfelt message. I'm sure it took a lot of time and effort to write it and send it to me, especially through your "hot tears" that were falling over your keyboard for an hour. It wont take me nearly as much time and effort though to forward it to your girlfriend if you decide to ever contact me again. Now that you've gotten that out of your system, move on, and focus your attention on her. I have, and I don't want anything to do with you. All the best, bikinibeach
Author bikinibeach Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 i want to do that! but.. i think that leaves room for arguing a point and i have argued for his worthless ass since day one and he wasn't even on my side. at this point if he took a blood vow to never look at speak to or think of her until the the end of time, i still wouldn't want someone who would put me through that. and who would allow her to treat me the way she has (indirectly, but still). i ****ing hope they both die in a fire oh my god....did i say that ((((( thanks for the vent space.
sanskrit Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Guy you are dating has inappropriate relationship with ex, you rightfully dump him over it, he sends a goodbye Email. That about sum it up? Get over it and move on, no reason to create a further world class drama incident out of it. Just move on.
Author bikinibeach Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 lil misus i like your idea! you have to read my earlier post to understand fully, she is his ex and best friend. he takes her out for dinner wweekly, hangs out in her apartment listening to music, watching tv and eating her cooking. the relationship ended 2 years ago because there was ZERO sexual chemistry.
2sunny Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 he didn't ask a question - so no need to respond. since she has been the constant third person in this relationship- i think i'd just go ahead and forward it... especially since his MO seems to always be to be with someone but not tell them what's really going on in his head - then run to the other woman and express how he feels to her - never the one that should hear his truth. this is his line that makes me think you should send it to her: I didn't know how to tell her that part of me wished she would, even if only for a while. yep, i'd send it to her - tell her that even princess diana felt like a third wheel too - in her own M because Camilla was always involved. no room for any other gal in his life while she is around, and they may as well date again.
Author bikinibeach Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 2sunny: HA i wish he would sanskrit: you're right....but the idea of him thinking he has a chance with me in the future makes me ill. should i leave him wondering? i wrote this email, haven't decided if i will send it or not. opinions please!!! "thanks for the heartfelt note. i really feel there is nothing further to say on the issue. your words to me on the car ride home finally rang through loud and clear and set me free from thinking there was ever a chance with you. i have been surprised at how okay i am with everything. if you made a blood oath to never look at speak to or think of her again it would mean nothing to me, so save yourself the heartache and pack on up for halifax! i'm sorry but i no longer feel anything for you and will not date you in the future under any circumstance. i hope you are also able to move on." ps: the car ride home was when he flat out told me he refused to see her less and could not see their in-****ing-appropriate relationship dwindle in the future and that she'd always be in his life. take it or leave it. um yeah, i left it. he's crying? my ass.
sanskrit Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 sanskrit: you're right....but the idea of him thinking he has a chance with me in the future makes me ill. should i leave him wondering? i wrote this email, haven't decided if i will send it or not. opinions please!!! Write whatever you want, just don't send it. This guy didn't sound like someone who deserves much effort or even your elevated mood, take it in stride and move on. Honestly, I thought his letter wasn't that bad, could have been muuuuuuch worse, based on similar letters I've received in the past from recently dumped exes, just let it lie.
2sunny Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 i'd just forward it to her - then let them talk it over. with him- you are wasting your time and energy if you don't intend to go back - so don't bother with him... just forward it to her. maybe send her a note attached that states you will never consider dating him again. she WILL tell him, so at least he will get the message.
Author bikinibeach Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 2 sunny: YOU ARE RIGHT YOU ARE SO SO RIGHT. when he was in a relationship with her, he was bitching about her to some other girl too!! okay confession:i snooped his old emails. he would send this one girl an email about how he couldn't stand her and wanted to move out but couldn't afford it..and then an hour later, he'd be msging his girlfriend (now the troublseome ex) with gushy baby talk!
Author bikinibeach Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 OK I WANT TO SEND IT TO HER AND BID THEM BOTH ADIEU!! then i want to close my email account, block them on facebook and change my number!!!! I NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO SECOND THIS!!!! LOL this guy has had it COMING!!! he was also bitching about ME (being angry over being disrespected) to some other girlfriend to the point where she'd call when we were hanging out to make sure he was "okay"...!! I NEED SOME THUMBS UP!
sanskrit Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Or to be crystal clear, if I had a chance to take back everything I've ever written down and sent to an ex (or anyone else associated with them) within a couple months after breaking up, or get a free round trip ticket to Hawaii, I'd take the former, no hesitation, no question. Once it's sent you can never get it back, and it will be out there floating around somewhere for all eternity, gnawing at you just a little bit way down inside. Play them a symphony of silence. Post breakup life has been so much better after learning that simple truth, and you know what? It accomplishes your goal better than anything you could have ever written.
sanskrit Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Don't... send... it. Or at least wait 30 days before deciding.
Author bikinibeach Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 i agree with both of you!!! on one hand, i really want to keep mum... but on the other, i love the idea of sending it to HER only and adding a note to tell him it's over. i haven't made up my mind. i don't have her email but i going to check now and see whether she has blocked me on facebook yet... oh god...i don't know whether i hope she has or hasn't. GULP! but she needs to know!!
sanskrit Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 No she doesn't, he's been snowing her for years, she -knew- you two were together, do you think anything you send her is going to change his hold on her? In all likelihood it will make her chuckle to know you are out of the picture. Worst case, she will send some catty response that will cause you needless angst. Just move on.
2sunny Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 i would have blocked and deleted on fb way before now...
Author bikinibeach Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 oh god... she hasn't blocked me. OH GOD.... i am trying to be honest with myself about my emotions. i honestly DO think she finally needs to know about his cowardly backtalk..but i know that there is a little part of me there that wants her to hurt too because she has been unaffected by this because he hasn't changed his behavior with her. also, i know that ultimately i win for getting myself out of there unscathed and losing the loser, but i still feel like i lost out to her and i hate that. ............................. ..............oh man................... i have moved on and i know this will only bring anxiety and hostility my way from all sides. i'm such a hypocrite, i was listening to wayne dyer speeches today and he said "WHENEVER you are struggling with a choice in life, ANY CHOICE, just ask yourself, will this bring me peace?" i played out both scenarios in my head. i only want positivity from now on, they have caused me enough grief. let the symphony begin....they get the violins. lol thanks sanskrit for talking me down off the ledge and for you all for being there xoxo
2sunny Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 well - she does have a right to understand that he's her friend that is unwilling to tell you his truth about her move - but not her directly. so sending her his truth isn't a negative... also - taking your power back is a positive - and in that light- he will know you don't intend to see him again in 6 months or a year. so it is sending your truth loud and clear - and allowing her to understand that her best friend talks behind HER back too - just like he does all the women in his life. that man is so full of drama - i hope you don't date anyone again like him. i think it would bring you peace to allow her to understand his character... she needs to know.
Author bikinibeach Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 oh geez now that is very convincing........ (((((
Author bikinibeach Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 (((( i hate being conflicted!!!!! i can't give sanskrit the 30 days. but i CAN do 24 whole hours. maybe what would be better would be to come clean to HIM about what i read in his email and how i would NEVER date someone like him and even SHE doesn't deserve that (or maybe they deserve each other?? who knows) ok guys...24 HOURS. any more convincing arguments need to begin stat. PLEASE!! thankyou
Author bikinibeach Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 no. forget it. i wash my hands of both of them, shake the dust and i'm not looking back. she'll have to seek her own truth the way that i did. goodnight all
vsmini Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 no. forget it. i wash my hands of both of them, shake the dust and i'm not looking back. she'll have to seek her own truth the way that i did. goodnight all I really hope you mean this. Do not send anything to that other girl. It's a tacky move and will only put you down in your own eyes. She doesn't need to know. She's a big girl and can figure her own life out. Don't get catty and start sending off emails. Take the HIGH road and be the classy girl that you are. Now - did I read that right? He wants YOU to wait 6 months for him? Who does this guy think he is? That he can have you waiting around? This guy is a piece of work - he can go Eff himself. I'm sure he had his good points (otherwise, why would you have gone out with him) but this is clearly a broken relationship and it needs to stay that way. You made your case and he made his (through this truly pathetic email). I say continue NC and move on. Heal yourself up. Don't worry about him and you being "mean" like I said before - he can go cry about it to whatshername.
milkmaterial Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 i dont get it why dont they just get back together, and stop wasting other peoples time by trying to move on
Author bikinibeach Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 i dont get it why dont they just get back together, and stop wasting other peoples time by trying to move on so true. apparently, no sex. i guess he thought he could use ME for that...? meh. good riddance.
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