Lucky555 Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 My bf and I have been together going on six months. I tried to explain myself to him tonight how I felt and he told me he was too tired after I was basically letting him know what he is doing and it is making our relationship suffer. 1. I send him little sweet comments maybe a couple times a day. He never says anything sweet back. Just a "lol" 2. Never says he misses me. 3. This weekend he is too "tired" to see me?!!! What?. 4. Lately his communication is less. 5. He never asks me how my day is or acts like he "emotionally" cares. 6. Lots of sexual content in his messages to me. 7. Not introduced to family or friends after almost 6 months. 8. He brushed me off tonight and didn't seem to care that within 30 days we saw each other twice!!! I have initiated In the past most times. 9. He doesn't think there is anything wrong!! 10. I he is acting weird lately and I have contacted him less due to this. Couples are supposed to grow closer and this relationship has taken a step back. He has shut me out emotionally it feels like. Physically he is attentive but emotionally is missing . I tried to tell him how I felt he brushed me off. As a friend and a lover I expected him to give me answers. So there was no final conclusion but Im at a wits end. In a relationship people are supposed to care about each other! What's my next step. He didn't say he wanted to end things but it seems like he isn't that interested in keeping it together either. He told me talk to him later and i really just feel like he has Been very inconsiderate of me. Im an attractive and geniune person. I'm loyal and I respect and expect to be respected back. It just seems like he is trying to avoid me confronting him. I have been pulling back for quite sometime now as we have not been growing closer as a couple. I feel my emotions were getting stronger but his are not due to lack of his expression. So do I have to contact him when I was brushed off? Shouldn't he contact me? I think he deserves to be brushed of like he did me tonight and not seeing me is a red flag to me.
BookerT Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 1. I send him little sweet comments maybe a couple times a day. He never says anything sweet back. Just a "lol" . Wow.......this it's so absurdly rude and shows he doesn't care that I'm kinda shocked. I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear but your guy is totally not into you. For one thing a guy that truly likes a girl won't find it a problem introducing her to his parents. All your points including the fact that his messages contain a lot of sexual content shows that he's in the relationship just for the physical side. Don't beat yourself up, you did nothing wrong. But I don't think there's anything you can do, the guy is a jerk. Better cut your losses and move on.
nothappyjan Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Sorry to hear this. Your bf doesnt seem to show much repect towards you or your needs. He is obviously not very emotionally invested in this relationship so if i were you i would just not contact him again and start moving on. If he doesnt step up and make a huge effort then cut him off. You deserve so much better. Think how nice it would be to date a guy who cared about you. If this was one of your friends telling you this story, what would you say to them!
Author Lucky555 Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 Ya you two are right i have been holding it in and waiting for far too long for something to give. Im going noncontact. I know he is fully aware of what the problems are. I don't feel that he is a nice guy any more. When he want to sleep with me he doe contact everyday! When he doesn't he acts like a jerk. I'm not giving this any more chances. He had his fair share of them to make it right. He acted like he didn't get it. But I'm looking for "a relationship" and the whole package. I feel like have been slowly moving on over these past couple weeks so I'm ready to stop feeling blue about it. Thanks everyone I know what I have to do.
vsmini Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Yea - this guy is an emotional unavailable and after 6 months of this crap - he's not going to change. Just bow out now. Stop calling or texting him. He may chase after you a bit but he's just blowing hot and then when he has you - he'll blow cold all over again. No contact this lazyA** and find someone who gives a damn.
Author Lucky555 Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 Yea - this guy is an emotional unavailable and after 6 months of this crap - he's not going to change. Just bow out now. Stop calling or texting him. He may chase after you a bit but he's just blowing hot and then when he has you - he'll blow cold all over again. No contact this lazyA** and find someone who gives a damn. Ya I know. He quite lazy with this. He has an amazing girl (me) but doesn't seem to see what the problem is! I shouldn't have to put up with it any more it's just draining emotionally. Thanks I'm going to no contact and leaving it alone. If he doesn't want to shape up he can ship out of my life. I blame myself for expressing emotion but I didn't it on a little be to see if he would come around..nope. Also when I'm with him we do nothing. I suggest actinides and he only uses me..next day he wants me out. I also think not being introduced to his family and friends is a red flag. I'm no way ugly lol but it seems he's keeping away from it for a reason. ( commitment) I think he doesn't want this or for me to get the idea. Oh well hes losing something great.
Author Lucky555 Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 Update he tells me I should have sent him a message lol I am the one that was neglected! I am the one who is finally putting my foot down! I don't even know what to say except I just think he needs to see that if he is in a relationship he better be in it! I have other plans made hanging out eating Chinese food and watching a movie. Why do I want to change my lovely plans now that he is noticing I caught onto him. All of a sudden he opened his schedule but where was that when I asked if we were seeing each other?! He basically brushed me off!! Obviously he knew I'm not Happy and now he made this comment. I'm going to keep My plans. I travel to see him, I bake for him, I am an awesome Girl! All I ask is for time together and He can't even do that.
OpenBook Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 What's my next step. Stop sleeping with him. Stop texting/calling him. If he calls, either a) don't answer the phone or b) answer and talk to him briefly (no more than 2 minutes!), be kind but a little cool & distant, and YOU ARE TOO BUSY TO SEE HIM.
spiderowl Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 (edited) Sorry, but it sounds like he's only interested in the sex. He will communicate his sexual thoughts to you it seems, but won't communicate about anything else. He hardly sees you and is being totally inconsiderate. Why are you with him? If it's because you think you can't do better, let me tell you you can. Once you realise that you are worth someone's time, attention and love, you will dump this guy immediately. As long as you initiate and try to 'reason' him into being a caring guy (which he is clearly not), you will be in a weaker position anyway. He'll dismiss you until you dismiss him. You are worth so much more! Don't assume that if he suddenly becomes all interested when you ignore him that it means he really does love you. If you want him back, make sure he meets all your requirements before you consider spending any of your precious time with him. Edited May 29, 2011 by spiderowl
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