red shoes Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 This happened about 1.5 years ago. An LDR ex broke up with me via the email. I never contacted him or replied to his email, which didn't really have anything for me to reply since he has decided on the breakup though he said it wasn't that he didn't love me but he couldn't deal with the distance. I've got over it by now but I'm still curious as to whether a dumper using such a communication mode would expect a reply and whether he might be curious as to why I never begged for him to come back into my life. Anyone has such an experience being either the dumper or dumpee? Can you shed some light on this ex's psychology?
NicoleM Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 I have but it was a few years ago. I personally thought it was immature and stupid but that's just me. Dumping someone via text or e-mail is very immature and cowardly.
Sugarkane Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 I 100% agree with Nicole. I haven't been dumped by email, but my ex did dump me by text. Its not like I was with my ex for just a couple of months either, we dated for a year! Quite frankly thats just not good enough, for an exclusive relationship.
Author red shoes Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 Besides being a coward, I wonder how the dumper could think the email/text is an acceptable way to do it.
love4me2c Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 I've done it. I have a problem telling those close to me that things that may be perceived as bad, critical, or hurtful. I'm working on this in counseling. It is weird because I do not mind telling people my thoughts and feelings at work, but when it comes to interpersonal relationships, I have a real hard time doing it. This is a great question and I will now start looking at why I do it. I know that I am able to articulate my feelings much better in writing. You have a chance to choose your words carefully and not get caught up in emotions that may make you say things you regreat. By reading they cannot interrupt you and your feelings are expressed fully. I guess an alternative is to sit with the person while they read what you wrote? I never really thought of doing that. There are other times where I feel it is absolutely appropriate. Not optimal, but appropriate. If you are with someone you know will try to convince you otherwise, that is very difficult to handle. In fact, I am not sure how I would handle begging and pleading. Email removes having to deal with that when you know that the relationship is over and you do not want any further contact. You can just ignore responses via any other communication vehicle. Also if you are with someone for whom you might be worried that they may act out physically it is best to not do it face to face.
Sugarkane Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Besides being a coward, I wonder how the dumper could think the email/text is an acceptable way to do it. I'm assuming that by the time they've done it, they don't care if its acceptable or not?
Author red shoes Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 I'm assuming that by the time they've done it, they don't care if its acceptable or not? Actually this is what that hurts. The email means the person is done with the relationship because he doesn't want to have to talk to me and have me try to change his mind. That's in the past now. I just suddenly wondered whether he even wanted me to reply.
Tayla Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 A true love of mine who lived overseas had to use this method. It was such a sad thing to receive and my heart ached for months. In my opinion, it doesn't matter how it ends but the fact it had to end so abruptly.... Maybe he said the words that made it reasonable to part ways....
0hpenelope Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 I have. For that ex though, he was just too much of a coward to say it to my face.
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