Axee Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 My ex suddenly left me and got engaged to a girl choosen by his family , due to pressure from his family, he told me he was never sure we were compatible, whereas I always felt we were the perfect match.. Anyways, for 2 months I begged, cried and pleaded with him.. No use.. Then finally 2 days before he was to leave home to get married,I met him and i told him "that I cannot even look at him for what he did and asked him never to contact me again" Later he msged me saying he is disturbed , his heart is paining etc (for the first time he said those things)..He even mailed me the next day detailing why and how he took the decison of leaving me and begged me for my forgiveness and asked me to let him go peacefully.... I didnt respond to anything, its been almost a month now..I can never forgive him for his betrayal. He haunts me now, just the wayI feel , I am also haunting him..Not sure if I am right...But a sense of incompleteness is plagueing me, I dont know what I am expecting by this, he is married now...We are co-workers as well. it is paining me that this feeling mite persist forever...and is stopping me from fully moving ahead as I expect to give my 100% to the upcoming person in my life....I feel he is still controlling me (though he hasnt contacted me again )...I feel a part of me is still with him... Getting a strong urge to contact him... please help me here..
Vitai Slade Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 As long as you hold onto the hatred, you are still holding onto him in a way. To let go of him completely, you need to forgive him for his past wrongs against you, make peace with him, and move on. You don't have to be friends, you don't have to speak to him again after that... or even really have to speak to him again now if you don't want to. But you have to let the hatred go if you ever want to truly move on.
Author Axee Posted May 30, 2011 Author Posted May 30, 2011 Thanks Vitai , But I am not in a position to forgive him or let go of the hatred, day by day the hatred is increasing..my life is currently a mess, my furture is uncertain.. there is no peace to be found at work, at home or at office, some other things also happened at the same time..Evrytime , I blame him for all this.. cause if he had stood up to his word, none of these things would have happened... On his side, he has got his wife now and he is now currently working along with me though we are in differnt teams.. Imagine my situation where I have to see him daily...
Exit Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 I know how you feel. I am currently sitting in an apartment alone, where my ex was supposed to live with me and start our life together. She broke up with me before ever moving in, led me on for a few months with hope that we could get back together, and then slept with someone else. But you do just have to forgive. We are all flawed human beings, some are worse than others. Hating him does you no good. Why does he need to be there to fix your life? You are a perfectly capable person. Forgive him, and accept that it is up to you to make your life less of a mess, you don't need someone else to fix that for you. Relationships should not be about fixing each others' lives. You need to be happy and content before you can ever offer someone true love. If you work on different teams hopefully that means you don't really see him at work. If you still do, try finding a different job. I know that may sound crazy but you need space to heal, not even a job is worth having to endure seeing an ex all the time. You CAN do this. Hate is a useful emotion to initially get over someone and realize what a jerk they were, but you can't hold onto it forever. After you hate them enough to realize how bad they suck, then move on to forgiveness, and then focus on yourself. You are not alone. You can do this.
Author Axee Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 Thank you Exit for your encouraging and inspiring words... Luckily God held my hand and his office is temporayly shifted , so it happens that I havent seen him yet after he got married...Though I have down days, I feel I am recovering and healing.... People like you and vita above have been instrumental in my recovery.. I cant thank you guys enough...
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