FlowerGirly Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 As a woman, I have high standards when it comes to the men I date. I have always been attracted to men that are well spoken, educated and successful. Men like this, in my experience, know how to treat women with respect and dignity. My current boyfriend, has his faults, like anyone else, but he also has the qualities I admire. He is very intelligent, cultured, successful and well mannered. I'm asking this question because since I have been with my boyfriend, sometimes people make comments that I'm only with him because he is successful. But even though that is a plus, I'm actually with him because I love the person he is.
Author FlowerGirly Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 For example, at my family Christmas Party, my cousins boyfriend was very rude to my boyfriend. It was the first time they met. My cousins bf doesn't like to work or do anything to better himself. So I assume he was rude because he was intimidated, even though my bf was nothing but nice to him. But this isn't the first time I have run into this since we have been together. And dealing with the "gold digger" type comments from people...I don't get it.
oaks Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 I'm asking this question because since I have been with my boyfriend, sometimes people make comments that I'm only with him because he is successful. But even though that is a plus, I'm actually with him because I love the person he is. Do they mean that they don't think he's (physically) attractive and therefore your attraction to him must be because of his success? Nothing wrong with having high standards, especially when you can still find someone that meets them. If this one doesn't last, next time set the bar higher!
Author FlowerGirly Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 Do they mean that they don't think he's (physically) attractive and therefore your attraction to him must be because of his success? Nothing wrong with having high standards, especially when you can still find someone that meets them. If this one doesn't last, next time set the bar higher! He is actually an attractive man, so its not that. I just assumed some people are intimidated by someone like him. Because he is such a great guy, he doesn't have a rude bone in his body to make anyone dislike him
taiko Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 The one lesson I remember after paying thousands of dollars for higher education was "perfection is the mortal enemy of good enough". There is nothing wrong with high standards, however is you miscalculate and set to high a standard you lock yourself out
Mrlonelyone Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 High standards are a good thing. If everyone had hand standards then there would be no need to have "high" standards. Everyone would simply have a better standard of interpersonal relations which could only be good. The people making those comments have issues with their own security. They see you with a good man and feel a need to cut you down because they either think he's not good looking enough to have you, or that you aren't good enough for him... and they all think on some level that they would be a better match for either one of you.
Author FlowerGirly Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 High standards are a good thing. If everyone had hand standards then there would be no need to have "high" standards. Everyone would simply have a better standard of interpersonal relations which could only be good. The people making those comments have issues with their own security. They see you with a good man and feel a need to cut you down because they either think he's not good looking enough to have you, or that you aren't good enough for him... and they all think on some level that they would be a better match for either one of you. sounds accurate..
Mrlonelyone Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Thanks. I could identify a bit with what you were talking about here because of certain other conversations here..
Author FlowerGirly Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 Thanks. I could identify a bit with what you were talking about here because of certain other conversations here.. I know in some ways its just extreme insecurity for some people.
KR10N Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 I'm actually with him because I love the person he is.There's nothing wrong w/ that.
Cracker Jack Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 There's absolutely nothing wrong with having high standards.
Author FlowerGirly Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 There's absolutely nothing wrong with having high standards. Tell everyone else that...
Ruby Slippers Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 They're jealous. Misery loves company, and they'd love to drag you down into their sad muck. But don't let them. You enjoy your awesome man! I'm sure that you do.
KR10N Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Tell everyone else that... I'll speak on behalf of Cracker Jack. Dear everyone else, There's nothing wrong w/ that! Love, KR10N
SteveC80 Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 As a woman, I have high standards when it comes to the men I date. I have always been attracted to men that are well spoken, educated and successful. Men like this, in my experience, know how to treat women with respect and dignity. . Nothing wrong with high standards if you can attain what you want but this comment is laughable If you think well spoken educated and sucessful Men all treat women well then you're pretty naive
EasyHeart Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 It's good to have high standards, but it's bad to be condescending to other people.
Author FlowerGirly Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 Nothing wrong with high standards if you can attain what you want but this comment is laughable If you think well spoken educated and sucessful Men all treat women well then you're pretty naive Not all, but most of the men I have met that had their lives together, and were brought up well, have been good to me.
Author FlowerGirly Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 It's good to have high standards, but it's bad to be condescending to other people. ok mom.
Bertram Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 (edited) There is nothing wrong with having high standards. For example, I don't date overweight girls. Edited May 27, 2011 by Bertram
runner Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 There is nothing wrong with having high standards. For example, I don't date overweight girls. in order to preserve your standards, would you dump your partner because she suddenly gained an enormous amount of weight, due to illness, etc. or would you keep the relationship thinking you've compromised your standards, and feel that you're missing out on all the 'fit hotties' available ? i guess what i'm asking this thread is: do these standards apply in the long term of the relationship, or just the initial 'getting to know you' phase ?
Author FlowerGirly Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 There is nothing wrong with having high standards. For example, I don't date overweight girls. I meant standards more in the way of a persons character, or how someone treats you as a person. Those things, to me are way more important than the physical.
Engadget Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 I date based on who I like, not on any one quality. People who go out and date and say they must be X tall, or have X amount of money are so weird to me I can't explain it.
Author FlowerGirly Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 I date based on who I like, not on any one quality. People who go out and date and say they must be X tall, or have X amount of money are so weird to me I can't explain it. I agree with this to an extent.
Disillusioned Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 As a woman, I have high standards when it comes to the men I date. I have always been attracted to men that are well spoken, educated and successful. Men like this, in my experience, know how to treat women with respect and dignity. My current boyfriend, has his faults, like anyone else, but he also has the qualities I admire. He is very intelligent, cultured, successful and well mannered. I'm asking this question because since I have been with my boyfriend, sometimes people make comments that I'm only with him because he is successful. But even though that is a plus, I'm actually with him because I love the person he is. Don't feel gypped or anything bad like that. Yours is actually one of 2 mentalites, the other being the "any old cow" (or in your case, any old bull) approach. The deep, dark secret about the "any old cow" folks is, they usually end up divorced and bitter because their standards were too LOW.
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