Concerneddaughter Posted April 14, 2004 Posted April 14, 2004 I think my parents are playng mind games on me. I try my best in school and i study real hard, but i dont go to school one day, and they make me feel worthless. My Dad calls me selfish for not putting the dishes away. And when I have a bad day, he jokes saying im miserible and if i dont feel like talking he calls me a spoiled brat. He got my brother to make fun of me and they both make fun of me and say im lazy at the dinner table. My mom doesnt say anything, and when i tell her that my dad called me selfish she just say "umph" like its true. even if it was, u dont say that to your kid. My mom tells me im a not fat, but then i say i cant fit into my pants she say" i wonder why?". When my cousins come over, she acts crazy and yells at me for stupid stuff. She slapped me a dozen times because i wouldnt let my brother on the computer, when i was setting up a game for my cousin. I bought a cat (with her permission) and i had her for a year, and when i left to go to my aunts wedding she tokk it to the humane society. i was only gone for 2 days. she said it smelled bad. She make me feel stupid. And she is always busy and never tlks to me. we really never had one of those mother daughter talks. And when i tell her how i feel she just says "oh, now ur going to make me out to be a bad mother", and my dad says that i dramatic, and he lets my brother say om dramatic and an idot. They dont say anything. I want to know if tey are pschollogically abusing me, wwhat can i do?
spencer Posted April 14, 2004 Posted April 14, 2004 I can tell you their behavior is mean. Do they drink? alot. parents who put you down is bad behavior. If you are truly lazy or selfish, they should teach you how not to be that way, not just pick on you. If I were you I would go talk to my school counselor about whats going on at home.
sienna Posted April 14, 2004 Posted April 14, 2004 After reading your story I feel for you. You better tell your parents how you feel about there treatment. You know and sometimes people dont realize what there doing. Make them think. Slapping you lol thats nice. Tell her you would prefer her talking to you and that you think your more important than some kitchen table to clean, etc. TELL THEM ! Good Luck to you I wish you the best.
ThisGirlNameKD Posted April 15, 2004 Posted April 15, 2004 Let them know how what they say makes you feel, and definitely seek help through your school counselor.
Concerned Daughter Posted April 15, 2004 Posted April 15, 2004 I told my dad how i feel about calling me selfish yesterday, he said hes sry, and that he loves me, he should have said you were acting selfish, thanx
faux Posted April 15, 2004 Posted April 15, 2004 Originally posted by Concerneddaughter I think my parents are playng mind games on me. I try my best in school and i study real hard, but i dont go to school one day, and they make me feel worthless. My Dad calls me selfish for not putting the dishes away. And when I have a bad day, he jokes saying im miserible and if i dont feel like talking he calls me a spoiled brat. He got my brother to make fun of me and they both make fun of me and say im lazy at the dinner table. My mom doesnt say anything, and when i tell her that my dad called me selfish she just say "umph" like its true. even if it was, u dont say that to your kid. My mom tells me im a not fat, but then i say i cant fit into my pants she say" i wonder why?". When my cousins come over, she acts crazy and yells at me for stupid stuff. She slapped me a dozen times because i wouldnt let my brother on the computer, when i was setting up a game for my cousin. I bought a cat (with her permission) and i had her for a year, and when i left to go to my aunts wedding she tokk it to the humane society. i was only gone for 2 days. she said it smelled bad. She make me feel stupid. And she is always busy and never tlks to me. we really never had one of those mother daughter talks. And when i tell her how i feel she just says "oh, now ur going to make me out to be a bad mother", and my dad says that i dramatic, and he lets my brother say om dramatic and an idot. They dont say anything. I want to know if tey are pschollogically abusing me, wwhat can i do? This is actually quite common. I have gone through almost exactly the same things, and many more things that I would consider to be far worse. If you have access to counseling, perhaps guidance at the school/university you are attending, I would go that avenue. This is abuse, yes. Emotional and mental, or psychological as you put it. You cannot get the law to intervene. All you can do is seek counselling and hope your family will attend as well.
befuddled11 Posted April 20, 2004 Posted April 20, 2004 I try my best in school and i study real hard, but i dont go to school one day, and they make me feel worthless. What does studying really hard and trying your best in school have to do with "skipping a day of school"? Skipping is wrong. Your parents have every right to be upset if you're skipping a day of school. My Dad calls me selfish for not putting the dishes away. In every family, each person should do their fair share to help out around the house. Why can't you help by putting the dishes away? I don't know how old you are, but when I was 8 yrs old, I was expected to help wash and dry supper dishes.....and it was that way until I moved out at age 20. I had weekly "chores" from the time I was young.....and there's nothing wrong with parents expecting you to pull your weight around the home and help out. And when I have a bad day, he jokes saying im miserible and if i dont feel like talking he calls me a spoiled brat. Well some people are a little miserable when they're having a bad day. Sometimes they're very hard to deal with and get along with when they're in a bad mood. Everyone has a "bad day" from time to time. Ignoring your family members and "not talking to them" isn't very nice, I don't think. Who wants to be ignored? He got my brother to make fun of me and they both make fun of me and say im lazy at the dinner table. Every family jokes around. There's no crime in being told one is lazy. That's not abusive. Do you do your fair share around the house? Do you help with making meals and setting the table and helping with the dishes afterward? Do you help your Mom with the housecleaning and laundry? Keeping your room clean each week? My mom doesnt say anything, and when i tell her that my dad called me selfish she just say "umph" like its true. even if it was, u dont say that to your kid. It's not a crime, or abusive, to tell your child that they're lazy. Kids and teenagers often get slack and DO get lazy...and it's their parent's job to point that out and tell them to buckle up and get with the program. Being slapped, however, is not right. Nobody should slap anybody. I grew up being slapped and kicked and getting fat lips and all kinds of things, and I didn't appreciate it at all......my Mom would still slap me across the face when I was in my teen years, sometimes in public even. That's not right at all. Next time you're slapped, I'd point out to them that slapping is PHYSICAL ABUSE and that it's against the law. As for the other stuff,it just sounds like typical family stuff to me.
AtomicOrphan Posted April 21, 2004 Posted April 21, 2004 Parents who call their kids "selfish" and "lazy" are going about it in the wrong way. Shame-based labelling is counterproductive. It will only further alienate the family member. A lot of folks believe they're being straight with their kids, practicing "tough love," by calling the names and ridiculing them. They're really only deepening the wounds. My father used to shame us and blame us for family problems really brought on by the adults. It made us feel terrible about ourselves. Concerned Daughter also brought up the unhealthy practice of pitting family members against one another. This never helps. NEVER. Children of any age should not feel they need to compete for affection and approval from their parents. A word on being "lazy." Wanton laziness is rare. What we call laziness is usually borne of an underlying issue. Often times it's a sign of DEPRESSION. Again, calling somebody lazy won't make them more productive.
meagara Posted April 23, 2004 Posted April 23, 2004 Parents who do this may think that if they say this to their children, the children will prove them wrong. I know all about this cause my mother was an emotionally and sometimes physically abusive mother. It isn't right and you should tell them how it hurts you.It didn't work for me but it may work for you, for me I was called a big baby, but I wasn't the only one treated that way. I spoke to my sisters about it and we where there for each other. They taught me growing up ( during the times I was "worthless and stupid") that I was perfect. I think you need to talk to someone about your problems, especially your parents first, if nothing changes you need to build your wall up so that they can't hurt you with their mean comments anymore. Telling them when they hurt you (to their face) how it makes you feel and keep doing that. Self confidence will help you alot through these hard times and it sounds as though you are suffering right now. Do something that makes you happy; to build up that confidence, and you will see a difference. Believe in yourself and don't let someone elses opinions regardless, family or not bother you. You are a beautiful person, and don't let anyone tell you different.
wideawake Posted April 23, 2004 Posted April 23, 2004 Originally posted by sienna Are things working out alright? Bump. Hopefully things are getting better?
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