diablodude64 Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Me and my girlfriend had not been getting along all that well so yesterday I decided that it was probably time we go on a break so I told her this. Well I think she took that as me thinking we should completely break up... Well now I am not sure what I am supposed to do and I know she is convinced of it? I don't get why it's so easy for her to take things out of proportion or way further then I wanted them to go...
vsmini Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Many people think any kind of break means break up. They are very black and white about it. She may be one of those people. What did you say when you said you wanted a break? For how long? will there be any type of contact during the break? If these kinds of things are not specified during the initial talk then it's open to interpretation.
Author diablodude64 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 I think that might have been it... Because it was kind of during a heated moment. I just said "I can't do this anymore... we need to go on a break".
utterer of lies Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 It's very simple - saying things like "we need a break" or similar are used to control and manipulate people. If you really needed a break you would just stop seeing her for a few days. She's great, as she doesn't allow herself to be manipulated like this.
sanskrit Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Break = break up. If I ever hear, "let's take a break," my next words are "let's just go ahead and break up."
Author diablodude64 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 It's very simple - saying things like "we need a break" or similar are used to control and manipulate people. If you really needed a break you would just stop seeing her for a few days. She's great, as she doesn't allow herself to be manipulated like this. Spoken like someone who has no idea what they are talking about. It's easy to generalize like that and just write me off as being just like any other guy. But she's the one who used it for manipulation. The idea of a break is to have no contact to get your head straight, and see what your feelings tell you.
FlowerGirly Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Spoken like someone who has no idea what they are talking about. It's easy to generalize like that and just write me off as being just like any other guy. But she's the one who used it for manipulation. The idea of a break is to have no contact to get your head straight, and see what your feelings tell you. Break=break up. That means she is no longer committed to you. She gave you what you asked for.
Mr. Savage Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 I'm going through the same thing with my girlfriend. And I am coming to realize that you can use this site for advice but only YOU truly know that person good enough to understand if the "break" is really just time away or a break-up.
Author diablodude64 Posted May 30, 2011 Author Posted May 30, 2011 Well for now, we are broken up. The part that drives me crazy though is that her mom is pretty crazy... and so is her older sister. They both constantly tell her what she needs to do, how she needs to be, how she needs to think... all of this crap that just drives me crazy, and I am pretty sure it does the same for her. But she listens so it makes no sense to me. But she never listened and we were fricken amazing together, then when college started she moved in with her older sister and for a little while still great, but then I am pretty sure that her sister started having an influence. Anyways, we are apart now, and I am definitely waiting it out and not saying anything. But if given a good amount of time, I still have feelings for her, how should I approach that? Her mom being the crazy person who seems to forget the things I have done for her, decided to text me and tell me to stay away from her daughters... as if I am some kind of stocker or something which really just pissed me off because I did nothing to ever incite the idea. I think my girlfriend (well ex now) will realize who her true friends were. So any thoughts on it all?
Mr. Savage Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 It sounds like your ex needs to stand up for herself if what her mom and sister tell her makes her uncomfortable. She NEEDS to tell them it's her life! I hate controlling people like that. They have nothing in their own lives so they need to infringe on others. And this is sexist (I admit it) but women are the worst offenders of this! Crazy mothers especially thinking they need to look out for their daughter until that very special man deemed worthy for their approval comes along. That's not life, you can't stop love. Hang in their brother and hopefully she will come around! GOOD LUCK!
Author diablodude64 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Posted June 1, 2011 It sounds like your ex needs to stand up for herself if what her mom and sister tell her makes her uncomfortable. She NEEDS to tell them it's her life! I hate controlling people like that. They have nothing in their own lives so they need to infringe on others. And this is sexist (I admit it) but women are the worst offenders of this! Crazy mothers especially thinking they need to look out for their daughter until that very special man deemed worthy for their approval comes along. That's not life, you can't stop love. Hang in their brother and hopefully she will come around! GOOD LUCK! That's exactly right. Her mom is in everything and it drives me crazy. When we first met, we would hang out and then I would take her home and she would tell me later on that her mom would ask about the things we did. It's one thing to look out for your kids, but it is another thing to be trying to live through them. If ever you needed a definition for the phrase "living vicariously through your kids", you could just use her as a definition...
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