L0stOne Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I'm stressed out cause I have no idea how my ex really feels about me. I'll try to explain the whole situation. We live in different states. We met on facebook last summer, I think in July. He was cute, said he was 34, but I wasn't looking for a new relationship cause guys always treat me like crap, so I said no to him. I finally gave into him in November and said I would be his girl cause he seemed so sweet and different then the losers from the streets I dated. (we still never met in person). Everything was good, I was happier then ever. He got me a plane ticket to go see him on Christmas. So I went. I met him that day, we hung out for a few then he went home. I only saw him twice cause he had to go to P.R. for a family emergency. I get back here, everythings cool. He didn't like that I smoked, so he asked me when I was gonna stop, I said I told you as soon as I'm done with it. He said ok and he loves me. Next day I wake up and find a message on facebook saying he's happy that I'm about to graduate college, but I smoke too much so he's breaking up with me. I never really got a explanation on why he changed his mind cause he knew I was gonna stop, all I got was it's the smoking and he doesn't love me. A week later he messages me on fb asking me if I stopped, I said yea (I really didn't just wanted to see what he would say) and he said he was proud of me and he's glad we can stay friends. I didn't want to bring up the break up cause I didn't want him to stop talking so I stood quiet. Later on in the convo he starts calling me baby again and saying next time I go there in March he would make up for the December trip and I would be smiling. I was all happy cause I thought maybe we could work it out. March comes, I go. On my bday he tells me that he's coming down to where I live in May and that I can stay with him at the hotel. Anyway, I see him only three times and only smiled one day. I come back for graduation and on that day I'm getting dressed talking to him and I made a sexual comment and he says I'm crazy and I said why and he said because we're just friends. I said we just had sex what are you talking about and he said he doesn't want to take advantage of me. So that screwed my grad day Had to hold back the tears all day so I wouldnt mess up my makeup. I go back there in April, first day I'm there he texts me to go see him on Monday. I go and I get in the car and he leans in to kiss me and calling me baby again. I saw him only 3 times also and two of those times he had a friend with him and when they were around no kissing and he called me by my name. Soon as they weren't looking he's kissing me calling me baby. Last week he tells me 'I hope u r still with me cause i'm a popular guy" I said "I know, I gotta share you'' He said '' I won't blame u if u tell me to f*** off" I said " I wouldn't do that" and he said " good cause I won't do that to you either" Later on that day he emails me this" My computer froze so I got booted from facebook. I wanted to thank you how you always think of me. I realize that I havent given you the desired attention. I know I made it perfectly clear to you before, but I get the impression that you still hold a candle for me, and all I can offer you is my friendship. I'm renting a car, because I found an awesome deal thru Jetblue. only 24 dollars a day. Im looking forward to hanging with you. However, I only have a week in florida and my agenda keeps growing with friends and family. Just to mention a few I have: My brother and his wife and children, I have cousins all around florida, that are expecting my visit. I have friends who have lined up days for me to hang and explore. So even though I wanted to relax, its probably not going to happen. When I go to the beach, perhaps we can hang and chill, so please be understanding. The last thing I want to do is stress out. Well now he's here in his hotel room that I was supposed to stay with him at and nope I'm home. He went to the beach, I didnt go. He came over today and we had sex and he said he wanted to cum in me, which he's never done but I told him he could. So I don't understand he wants to be friends, but he's chancing me to get pregnant. He's not a kid, gonna be 35, well his friend said they were the same age & she said she was 37. I haven't brought that up yet. He said he might come back later tonight, but definitely tomorrow for a bbq, and he might stay over here but I'm not counting on the staying over since he always says something then changes it. Confusing the crap out of me
WTRanger Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 He doesn't care about you, a relationship, or if you have a kid. He's got the best, win-win situation. Sex, highly risky unprotected sex at that, and a get away free card if you get pregnant. Do you think he'd stick around for a kid? He's pushing it to see what he can get away with. First it was ex sex, then sex with no commitment, then unprotected sex, now he's blowing his load in you. Where do YOU draw the line? You need to stop concerning yourself with what your ex thinks. It's only confusing because you are seeking answers you'll never find. Now, imagine you asked yourself what you think, how you feel, what you want. I'm betting THOSE are the answers you can find and it's a lot less confusing. You need to wake the F up and stop having unprotected sex with someone who doesn't want to commit to you. How can you possibly rationalize chancing this man getting your pregnant?
Author L0stOne Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 He has 2 daughters from his ex wife and he's a great dad. That's why I don't understand. He's ''Mr. Responsible" why would he chance it if we're just friends.
WTRanger Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 He's not chancing anything. You are. He'll run to the hills if you get pregnant. He had his last kids with his wife, not a FWB. Big difference. Apples to hand grenades difference. Again, he testing to see what he gets away with. The real issue is why are you letting him do this to you when you obviously have issues with his actions?
Author L0stOne Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 I love him. Feelings obviously started while we were dating when he was all sweet and everything was great. Once we broke up in January, but he said we'd still see each other, and we talk everyday, feelings just kept growing. It wasn't til the end of March on grad day that he started with the we're just friends stuff I'm not the type that can just say oh you're a a$$-hole now and my heart is like your yo-yo toy u keep playing with, so i don't love you anymore, doesn't work like that with me, unfortunately. He's coming back again later on during the day for a bbq with my mom. I'm gonna ask him when we're alone what's the deal with the cumimg in me.
WTRanger Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can let them get away with murder. Would you let him point a loaded gun to your head? Stand up for yourself! So you love someone, so you'll let them play with your heart and engage in risky behavior all because your not an ass? That's not being an ass, that's called standing up for yourself. That's called having enough respect for yourself and your body that you aren't going to let some toolbag toy with you. It's okay to rock the boat if you are being wronged. I doubt you get anything more than a dumb stare when you ask him. Then you'll have risky sex with him again. You are just scared to move on so you coming up with ludicrous ideas and reasons why you should still be around him even though deep down you known all of this is wrong. But, it's better to be treated like a 3rd class citizen than being alone right?
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