shino Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 hello. I'm quite new here, I've read some other topics and decided to post. I never thought we would end up in a long distance relationship because it all really started from innocent flirting. Well, i met my bf in an online game, both of us were just over from problematic past relationships. So whenever i feel there's a spark between us, i tend to shy away and stop flirting, but that's not the case with him. Between the two of us, i was the one reluctant to fall because, i knew what the circumstances would be (long distance rel) and i have absolutely no experience in that. But because of my reluctance and his perseverance, we finally got together. And then the complications creep up one by one. He did say he lived on the province, but he never mentioned that he lived on a far away island province. so meeting him was absolutely out of the question for now. (we are both college students and airfare is so not cheap) And then, he confessed that my language is not his natural language although he seems to be good at it on chat, he cant barely say it aloud. so phone calls are not an option. that set us on limited communication channels. But thankfully, we still play together online and we manage to get by on video chat. though we only set video chat at times when he rents outside because they dont have a webcam. We've been together for 6 months now and, both of us are starting to lose interest on the online game that we play, and we dont want to pick another game just yet. I panicked because what more bonding can we have if we lose that? Texting and limited chatting, and to be honest conversations seems quiet forced and not effortless like before. Sometimes the language barrier gets in the way, he will misinterpret what i say or i might not understand what he means and arguements will explode. I know that he relies our relationship much on mutual understanding, at some point i understand that, but there are some things that we do have to talk about and he refuses to do so. like at one time, he got pissed at something i did, i can tell, but he wouldnt tell me why he got pissed and said that it's just a slip and he shoudnt have told that he is pissed, i said that he should tell, how are we supposed to correct our mistakes? right? but then he said that if it's always like that, i'd end up being too perfect.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 i am sorry, this will sound harsh but i won't consider something as a relationship if you haven't met each other yet in person. for all you know he could be attached/married and that's why he's making excuses like living far away in an island and having language barriers (so you will not call him).
Author shino Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 i know it's a problem we havent met up, but we compromised by doing so once we've saved enough, meeting halfway. i do know the language barrier is true cause when we video chat i can hear his friends talking to him and it's definitely not my language. plus there's the culture to deal with if his friends hear him talking to someone in my language. he teaches me some so i can understand a bit.so i just really want to make this work out i guess... and am really running out of ideas how... chat on fb (horrible, msg just soo late), video chat, texting, playing online together, (which we might stop) or is this just a lost cause? am i really just too naive to think this is something... his feelings seems so real... it just didnt seem he's lying about something...
yaamaanu Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 Ldr will only work if u have strong communication, trust and commitment. U have to talk to him seriously, let him know what u feel. It should be transparent
zlatnapolja Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 What language does he speak? Seems like a nice 'fantasy', but not something realistic. Are you planning on seeing him? Hope it works out, but you have to overcome so many boundries (in possibly meaning of the word).
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